Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(

melios333

I guess I'm looking for more honest opinions since I have 2 days before I know my "fate" .  I went last monday to rk in nyc, and I brought my best friend. My instinct was to go alone, since my family and friends think they know me, they don't, so  I wanted a ballgown, and brough a list with me, but they only had 2 of the 10 that I had on my list. My friend got married last year, and she wanted a ball gown but was too small to look good in them and got a mermaid.  So,  long story short, I tried on 12 mermaids and 2 ballgowns, and didn't feel great about most of the dresses. I tried on ONE dress that was 26 dollars (yes, 26 that isn't a typo) over my budget .and decided that even though that was the best, I wasn't going to go over, and I picked a stupid mermaid dress. my friend and the consultant loved it.  When I look at it now, a week later HATE, loathing even. So what it was 400 under budget, this wedding is costing a fortune anyway!  So after a week, when reality set in I decided I needed to call the shop. So I did that this morning, and they were sympathetic, the order was already placed so they needed to call the designer but they were CLOSED for Rosh hashana , so I have to wait until WEDNESDAY. My wedding is NEXT september, so I have over a year to hate this dress if they can't change it. I am even willing to change it within the designer just to avoid having this dress. Really, I want the other dress I tried, which isn't the same designer, so I know it's highly unlikely. Has anyone had this experience?  Why on earth don't they wait a week to place orders? my wedding isn't for a year,  the dress is suppose to come in in January, my fittings aren't until July!  I'm considering what I will do If I have to gt this dress, Perhaps Sell it immediately and then have a yard sale to make up the difference  Then I can get my real dress  Any advice? 

SJM7538

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-there-room-for-more-wedding-dress-regret-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5a15aab3-9c38-4822-9cd9-2923ee7aa208Post:ac67799b-f7e8-41dd-9c58-ec6db8d7cfaa">Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I'm looking for more honest opinions since I have 2 days before I know my "fate" .  I went last monday to rk in nyc, and I brought my best friend. My instinct was to go alone, since my family and friends think they know me, they don't, so  I wanted a ballgown, and brough a list with me, but they only had 2 of the 10 that I had on my list. My friend got married last year, and she wanted a ball gown but was too small to look good in them and got a mermaid.  So,  long story short, I tried on 12 mermaids and 2 ballgowns, and didn't feel great about most of the dresses. I tried on ONE dress that was 26 dollars (yes, 26 that isn't a typo) over my budget .and decided that even though that was the best, I wasn't going to go over, and I picked a stupid mermaid dress. my friend and the consultant loved it.  When I look at it now, a week later HATE, loathing even. So what it was 400 under budget, this wedding is costing a fortune anyway!  So after a week, when reality set in I decided I needed to call the shop. So I did that this morning, and they were sympathetic, the order was already placed so they needed to call the designer but they were CLOSED for Rosh hashana , so I have to wait until WEDNESDAY. My wedding is NEXT september, so I have over a year to hate this dress if they can't change it. I am even willing to change it within the designer just to avoid having this dress. Really, I want the other dress I tried, which isn't the same designer, so I know it's highly unlikely. Has anyone had this experience?  <strong>Why on earth don't they wait a week to place orders?</strong> my wedding isn't for a year,  the dress is suppose to come in in January, my fittings aren't until July!  I'm considering what I will do If I have to gt this dress, Perhaps Sell it immediately and then have a yard sale to make up the difference :(  Then I can get my real dress :(  Any advice? 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]


You go dress shopping, put money down on a dress...they're going to assume you want this dress. Why would they wait to order it? They have a business to run. You honestly probaby could have waited to shop since your wedding is a year away. I bought my dress two weeks ago and they put the order in THAT day.

Honestly, I would try not to stress about it until you hear from the bridal shop and see if they can stop the order. If they can't you can probably sell it since it's brand new and never been worn. Is it a designer gown and are you an average size? These will be factors in selling it.

melios333

I just feel like,  how could someone who sell these dresses for a living, seen the list I brought in and really have thought I wanted that dress.  I know I was eager to just get this crap over with, as every other detail of my wedding is done, over caput, and I'm happy with all of them. I wanted the dress to be done too.  I'm not blaming the consultant, I know the dress looked nice, but my dress is a day wedding, no one asked, this is a Blinged out evening dress, and it look just like the wedding dress of the friend that I brought. They didn't have me try on any of the style I wanted, Just kept putting me in mermaid, and it's a long year, and I am a shaped like an apple on a toothpick, if I gain even 5 pounds this dress is going to look so upsetting. I'm considering eloping. 

LDubHawksFan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-there-room-for-more-wedding-dress-regret-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:5a15aab3-9c38-4822-9cd9-2923ee7aa208Post:d6ffb918-903d-496e-9b39-fa2f9a37e4fc">Re: Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I just feel like,  how could someone who sell these dresses for a living, seen the list I brought in and really have thought I wanted that dress.  I know I was eager to just get this crap over with, as every other detail of my wedding is done, over caput, and I'm happy with all of them. I wanted the dress to be done too.  I'm not blaming the consultant, I know the dress looked nice, but my dress is a day wedding, no one asked, this is a Blinged out evening dress, and it look just like the wedding dress of the friend that I brought. They didn't have me try on any of the style I wanted, Just kept putting me in mermaid, and it's a long year, and I am a shaped like an apple on a toothpick, if I gain even 5 pounds this dress is going to look so upsetting. I'm considering eloping. 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]

Because a lot of women have a vision of what they think will look good on them or what they like, until they put on a dress and it's unexpectedly perfect!  And ultimately, you bought it!I think you should wait to hear whether they can stop the order.  If they can't, maybe try to go in and try on the sample again?  If that doesn't work, I don't know that it's worth stressing about for the moment.  Maybe take some time off from dress shopping, and go again in a few months.  If the other dress is still your dream dress, then figure out if you will have the funds to buy a second dress and sell the other (knowing you will not get what you paid for it). 

You need to be happy, but from what I see on here, everyone has dress regret.  I didn't with my dress, but I immediately had regret upon leaving the seamstress on Friday when she had me do a french bustle.  I wanted a side but just let it be.  I took my mind off of it, and on Sunday I googled a bunch of pictures of the side  bustle, and ultimately I am happy with what we are doing.   

Good luck!!

boomboom1243

wait till you see it agian. You bought it for a reason. Try not to let your emotions take you over. When you see it again maybe you will feel differently if not maybe the store will let you put ur deposit on another dress. This happens all the time I am sure they will be willing to help you. I am actually terrifed of this. I changed my mind three times and finally bought a dress without trying it on because no one had it in stock and then it became discontinued. so we will see and I defintally feel for you.

amymaysa

In Response to Re: Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :
[QUOTE]I just feel like,  how could someone who sell these dresses for a living, seen the list I brought in and really have thought I wanted that dress.  I know I was eager to just get this crap over with, as every other detail of my wedding is done, over caput, and I'm happy with all of them. I wanted the dress to be done too.  I'm not blaming the consultant, I know the dress looked nice, but my dress is a day wedding, no one asked, this is a Blinged out evening dress, and it look just like the wedding dress of the friend that I brought. They didn't have me try on any of the style I wanted, Just kept putting me in mermaid, and it's a long year, and I am a shaped like an apple on a toothpick, if I gain even 5 pounds this dress is going to look so upsetting. I'm considering eloping. 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]

Beacuse many people end up with a dress completely different that what they thought they wanted when they actually try on gowns. Couple that with the fact that they are salespeople, not your friends.

melios333

I think hearing so many people say "you don't necessarily go in for what you end up getting" is what made me think it was ok. I have a picture of myself in my dress, and everytime I look at it I am overwhelmed by how ugly I think it is. I have not looked at the picture since calling the store.   Worst part is, when they call me I'll be away on a business trip, so I won't be able to immediately go in to change it if it's ok, and if they can't , no one will be there for moral support. 

melios333

combined with, I never loved the dress, never said I loved the dress. so much to the point where I know exactly which dress I want if they say I can just change it AND which dress I want if they say I can change it within the same designer. I liked 2 other dresses BETTER and somehow ended up saying I wanted this dress. Lesson learned, every other decision for the wedding i'm making myself and not telling anyone. 

soleildhiver

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-there-room-for-more-wedding-dress-regret-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5a15aab3-9c38-4822-9cd9-2923ee7aa208Post:d2b4d64f-a332-4447-98cc-9e64dd7a3c99">Re: Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(</a>:
[QUOTE]combined with, I never loved the dress, never said I loved the dress. so much to the point where I know exactly which dress I want if they say I can just change it AND which dress I want if they say I can change it within the same designer. I liked 2 other dresses BETTER and somehow ended up saying I wanted this dress. Lesson learned, every other decision for the wedding i'm making myself and not telling anyone. 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]

so I don't understand why you would put money down for this dress... there is no way anyone could have talked me into a different dress. I tried on lots I liked and that others liked better but I couldn't let the 4 other people with me influence my decision as far as to buy a dress I didn't like. there is no way you can make all the decisions by yourself, there will be TONS of family members/in-laws who want you to do what they want and for each thing you need to decide whether you want to give in to them or do it your way. you're going to need some balls. good luck

melios333

Eh, no one else is paying for it but me. The groom is unemployed, so I reallly don't need Balls, I have the bank card. (thats over simplifying it but overall, the truth)  

I'm certain i put money down because i just wanted to pick a dress. Every other decision is pretty much made,  my friend teared up at this dress. 

The dress I'm hating, is Mori lee 1868, a pretty dress, just the wrong shape. It was between that, Mori lee 1854 and Sophia tolli "babette"  .  I think I even knew at the time the sophia tolli ws the one, but it was technically over the budget (by 26 dollars) and it was hundreds of dollars more than the Mori lee. The other mori lee is less expensive than the one I don't like, so actually if I have to stick wtih mori lee at this point, I won't be too upset.....

mbpaine

Im sorry to hear about your dress regrets. However, you cannot blame the bridal shop consultants for your dress regrets. You had to agree to put down a deposit and order the dress. I think you were in too much of a rush to complete your "check list". This is a special time for you. Planning your wedding day, as girls we all know this is one of those days we've been picturing in our minds since we were tiny. Try to enjoy it a little bit. Take a deep breath, relax and know that everything will come together in the end. Because no matter what you're wearing... whether it be a paper bag or the dress of your dreams... you will be marrying your best friend. That's priceless. I do wish you the best of luck with your dress!

melios333

I don't blame the consultant, I blame myself for bringing my best friend with me. The consultant was great. 

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-there-room-for-more-wedding-dress-regret-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5a15aab3-9c38-4822-9cd9-2923ee7aa208Post:5b4f59b2-6c95-49c9-8bbc-49dda0caf025">Re: Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I<strong> don't blame the consultant</strong>, I blame myself for bringing my best friend with me. The consultant was great. 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]

These are quotes from your previous posts:

<span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;"><strong><em>"Why on earth don't they wait a week to place orders? my wedding isn't for a year,  the dress is suppose to come in in January, my fittings aren't until July."


</em></strong></span><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;"><strong><em> </em></strong></span><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;"><strong><em>"just feel like,  how could someone who sell these dresses for a living, seen the list I brought in and really have thought I wanted that dress."</em></strong></span><font face="Calibri" size="3" color="#000000"><strong><em> 


</em></strong></font><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;"><strong><em>"I'm not blaming the consultant, I know the dress looked nice, but my dress is a day wedding, no one asked, this is a Blinged out evening dress, and it look just like the wedding dress of the friend that I brought. They didn't have me try on any of the style I wanted, Just kept putting me in mermaid."


</em></strong></span><span style="font-family:'Arial','sans-serif';color:#1f1f1f;font-size:8.5pt;"><strong><em>"I never loved the dress, never said I loved the dress"
</em></strong>
You bought the dress. You went up to the cash register and paid for the dress.  Based on these posts, it sure sounds like you are blaming the consultant and your best friend, when you are the one who bought the dress.   You really don't have anyone to blame but yourself. 

I'm sorry you are going through this.  I had major dress regret also, but I also knew it was my own fault.   You are grown enough to get married, you are grown enough to ask for different dress styles if they "kept putting you in a mermaid".  And you are grown enough to decide for yourself that you didn't like the dress you had on or decide to go $26.00 over your budget. 

I hope they can exchange the dress for you.  But, if they can't.  It isn't anyone's fault, but yours.</span>

melios333

I don't really need to play the blame game, since i'm the one with the 600 dollar charge on my account for something I regret so deeply that I'm considering selling everything I own to have enough money to get what I want.  I'm financing this whole thing and want what I want. I know I am not the only person who regrets their dress choice, for whatever reason.  I really came here for some advice on what I can do if the shop says I have to take this dress.  Am I going to change my mind if I try it on again? Very unlikely,  Am I just going going to wear it and hope they only get my head up in the pictures? Possibly.  Does a dress change how I feel about my fiance?  No but since I'm funding an overpriced event in our honor I would like to wear something I feel good in.  I don't see why so many people seem to have a "too bad how sad" attitude towards this, when it seems like such a common problem. 

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_is-there-room-for-more-wedding-dress-regret-posts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:5a15aab3-9c38-4822-9cd9-2923ee7aa208Post:8accd7f7-de26-4978-9e7c-ce8b6ebe60f7">Re: Is there room for more wedding Dress regret posts? :(</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't really need to play the blame game, since i'm the one with the 600 dollar charge on my account for something I regret so deeply that I'm considering selling everything I own to have enough money to get what I want.  I'm financing this whole thing and want what I want. I know I am not the only person who regrets their dress choice, for whatever reason.  I really came here for some advice on what I can do if the shop says I have to take this dress.  Am I going to change my mind if I try it on again? Very unlikely,  Am I just going going to wear it and hope they only get my head up in the pictures? Possibly.  Does a dress change how I feel about my fiance?  No but since I'm funding an overpriced event in our honor I would like to wear something I feel good in.  I don't see why so many people seem to have a "too bad how sad" attitude towards this, when it seems like such a common problem. 
Posted by melios333[/QUOTE]

With formal attire, it really is a "too bad, so sad" issue.  You buy a non-refundable item, and then walk away.  You either love it, or you hate it.  If you hate it, you buy another dress and try to resell the original dress.

I bought an $1100.00 dress ($100.00 over budget) and regretted it almost immediately.  I then spent the next 4 months making myself crazy looking at other dresses.  I ended up buying another dress at a sample sale 3 months before the wedding and was planning to sell my original dress.  After trying both dresses on again, I ended up staying with my original dress, and sold the sample on recycledbride.com

If they don't let you exchange the dress, you can sell it, but you'll likely get 40-60% of the original purchase price.  And, you can't sell it until after it arrives in January.  Which may not be enough time to order your other dream dress.  You could try finding the dress you really want on preowned site.  Try oncewed.com, recycledbride.com, preownedweddingdresses.com

If you only put 1/2 down on the dress, you can also consider just walking away from your deposit.  I considered doing that.  Usually, the only thing they can really do, (read your contract though!) is just not give you the dress, and then you are out your deposit.   Just make sure that they don't have the legal right to charge your credit card for the remaining amount.

Purr77

So the question is at this point, what happened? Are they able to change it? I bought mine a few weeks ago with my mom, one of my bridesmaids, and fmil. Had a crazy over the top consultant that reminded me of NeeCee Nash (however u spell it) & I got caught up in her frenetic energy. I loved my dress then, it's very different, white with black lace, Maggie Sottero, looks like glamour barbie kind of thing. Love the style, freaking out on the black and that it is made of tulle. Wanted something sleeker....so kind of where you are...but not quite to this extreme. Honestly, I agree with you on it being a bit much around the bottom for a daytime wedding. I feel for you...