Going against the "dream" dress??

coly06

So most of us ladies have had that dream vision in our minds our entire lives of what our dress is going to look like, right? Mine was always the big, HUGE Cinderella dress. There was no way I would ever wear anything but that kind of dress. Ever.

Only problem is, I have tried on a good handful of those dresses and none of them really excite me. What I have been excited about (though I haven't tried any on yet...) are styles completely different than what I would have ever imaged wearing on my wedding day.

What shouldn't be a big dillemma is really tearing me up inside. I feel like if I don't get the dress I have dreamed about my entire life, I will end up regretting it. Has anyone experienced something like this? I don't want to get the "dress of the minute." I want to get the "dress of the lifetime."

And I know it's not all about the dress. But technically it is the part us girls have dreamed of since we were tiny. Would I be making an impulse decision to choose something that is my style 'now' rather than something I have wanted my whole life? It shouldn't be this hard!

saacjw

So, the dress I dreamed about when I was little was some combination of Belle's yellow dress, Ariel's pink dress, and a Civil War era style hoop skirt. Huge Cinderella thing too. Not what I got, because frankly, can you imagine the Princess Diana style fluffyness that would happen if I actually found that thing? It would have consumed me whole. 

Your taste in clothing has changed. That's OK. Get the dress that makes you happiest when you try it on. That will be the dress of a lifetime. You're getting married now, it makes sense to get the dress that makes you feel great now, that fits you now. Go, try on the dresses you are excied about and see if you still like them. Who knows, they might look strange on you and you'll get more exited about the ball gown idea. Or, you'll find something amazing that makes you FEEL like the dress you always imagined did. That's more important. 

artbyallie

Little girls like princess dresses because they're poofy and over the top. Real women realize they're a PITA and not all that flattering. And realize too that many women do look back decades later at their wedding dress and wonder what they were thinking. Pick what you feel beautiful in now and don't worry about it being timeless because most things just aren't.

Giaspo

Do you have time to order your dress? You should try on all different styles of dresses to rule them out or discover something you never thought of. You may realize you love the ball gown after all. Or maybe try different styles of ball gown ie: one with a feather bottom instead of sparkles. Also, what type of vibe is your wedding? For me, I had a favorite dress for long time before I got engaged. It was discontinued but I found it at a sample sale. I couldn't believe it, but it wasn't the one. I started the search and found a gown that was it. Don't panic. You will find it. Just enjoy and keep an open mind. Have fun!!

Summer2011Bride

I would go with your gut. If you like a different style, feel good in it and it's flattering, go with that. Tastes change from when we are little and many brides end up with a style of dress completely different than they originally thought.

dewingedpixie

I thought I was going to go with a corseted ball gown like the Alfred Angelo Belle, or a dress like in Sense and Sensibility empire waisted and flowing. I also wanted some color in my gown or a colored gown. I absolutely didn't want lace when I started looking, straps (I wanted sleeves or strapless), mermaid, or rouching. I went to a bridal show and what did I see an Ivory rouched a symmetrical trumpeted skirted mermaid with the bottom being hand maid lace with svoraski crystal it had straps with a v in the front and back. What happened next? I fell into instant love! I knew immediately that was my dress. I'd looked at hundreds online and found something wrong with every dress I saw but this was instant love. I went the next weekend and tried it and 5 other gowns on. You know what I bought? Yeap the one I saw.

Bottom line is this try everything on. Look at every style. You might be surprised to find you like something you thought was absolutely not what you had thought you wanted. I tried 5 dresses total I'm 100% certain this is my dress. I've looked at other gowns since online or in catalogs that come in for weddings. It reaffirms my decision I find something wrong with everyone of these other dresses that I just dont like. I look at my dress and again just instant peace and happiness. I realise now it wasnt that I didnt like those things I was against it was that I hadn't seen them done in a way that I liked. So keep your mind open you maybe surprised in a good way.

AurorasEnvy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_going-against-the-dream-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:76f1afca-096d-4c9d-b876-6afe82bf0809Post:c57b3036-17f9-4c30-abc0-9c7bd9022b63">Re: Going against the "dream" dress??</a>:
[QUOTE]Little girls like princess dresses because they're poofy and over the top. Real women realize they're a PITA and not all that flattering. And realize too that many women do look back decades later at their wedding dress and wonder what they were thinking. Pick what you feel beautiful in now and don't worry about it being timeless because most things just aren't.
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

<div>This.  I always thought I'd get the poofy ballgown, too.  18 year old me most likely would have.  27 year old me has a more sophisticated style.  I wouldn't overthink it, a lot of girls end up wearing a dress that is totally different from what they <em>thought </em>they wanted, often even what they <em>thought </em>they hated!</div><div>
</div><div>FWIW, my gown was more of a fit & flare/dropped waist - I had the more sophisticated look I wanted with a tight fitting gown, but I also had a bit of the "poof" I always imagined.  Might a style to ask to try on.</div>

tmshipp

I've had the exact same struggle!!!  Every gown I pick out and the vision I have in my head in lace!!!  When I see me as a bride I see all over lace with a long lace veil.  BUT...after trying on 40 lace dresses I just didn't find it.  The hard part was there were 3 or 4 lace gowns that I liked and my friends and family felt were beautiful....but there was something just not right. 

THEN...A consultant pulled a Satin gown with straps and everyone immediately forgot about all the lace gowns.  It was NOTHING that I pictured or wanted honestly....but I felt beautiful.  

I've struggled with it for a while but ended up ordering the satin gown.  About a week after ordering it I came across an article about how to choose a weddig gown.  The paragraph that hit home for me said...pic the gown that makes YOU feel beautiful....not the GOWN that you think is beautiful.  Ultimately it about you IN the gown not the gown as you stand there and look at it on a hanger...or model.  

Have fun with the process and take your time if you have the luxury of time.

Lisa50

Wow! That's a lot of pressure to put on yourself and a dress you'll wear for no more than a 1/2 day.  Take a deep breath or two.

Try taking a step back from lifetime dreams and find a dress that makes you feel gorgeous, beautiful and excited.  Guess what?  It doesn't even have to be a traditional bridal dress.  Give yourself a break. 

meganb1977

The dress I ended up buying once I tried gowns on and saw what was flattering on me wasn't what I originally anticipated.  So look at all your options and go with what you feel good in, whether it's Cinderella style or not.

WildMagelet

Happens all of the time.

Choose the dress that you find yourself most comfortable in and makes you feel most beautiful.  

coly06

That is great advice!! Thanks!!

In Response to Re:Going against the :[QUOTE]I've had the exact same struggle!!! nbsp;Every gown I pick out and the vision I have in my head in lace!!! nbsp;When I see me as a bride I see all over lace with a long lace veil. nbsp;BUT...after trying on 40 lace dresses I just didn't find it. nbsp;The hard part was there were 3 or 4 lace gowns that I liked and my friends and family felt were beautiful....but there was something just not right.nbsp;THEN...A consultant pulled a Satin gown with straps and everyone immediately forgot about all the lace gowns. nbsp;It was NOTHING that I pictured or wanted honestly....but I felt beautiful. nbsp;I've struggled with it for a while but ended up ordering the satin gown. nbsp;About a week after ordering it I came across an article about how to choose a weddig gown. nbsp;The paragraph that hit home for me said...pic the gown that makes YOU feel beautiful....not the GOWN that you think is beautiful. nbsp;Ultimately it about you IN the gown not the gown as you stand there and look at it on a hanger...or model. nbsp;Have fun with the process and take your time if you have the luxury of time. Posted by tmshipp[/QUOTE]

minuli

I have had a similar fillings. I always dreamed about very sparkling and a huge dress and guess what? - my wedding dress was very very simple and without sparkles )

BUT, I don't regret, because it fitted me most most than any other dresses, so choose the dress with how it fits you and believe, when you will see your wedding photos with a perfectly-fitted dress your doubts will be lost forever )

 

http://www.alacraft.com.au/

Eliz77

I had similar situation...I always envisioned myself in something silimar to what Pippa wore to the royal wedding: scoop/cowl neckline, trumpet fit, cap sleeves, very simple looking and no fluff. Tried on a couple along that idea and not only did they not  flatter me at all, I felt very awkward. My mom had told me I should be looking for empire waist/A-line type of dresses, and could always add straps if the dress was strapless. She's a very smart lady.

Like PP's have said-you need to focus on what will make you feel comfortable and fits you well, and then decide about the rest. I knew I wanted lace and not a lot of fluff. I think my dress is actually more intricate than I had envisioned, but still stays along the simple, no fluff idea. But it is NOTHING like PIppa's!! 

vantica

I never pictured myself with a pouffy princess kind of dress, and when I tried on dresses I found some amazing ones.  As in, they made me look amazing.  But I was looking for something with colour and at one store I gabbed the only 2 with colour (one had black in it, the other trimmed in red).  The one with black turned out to be extremely pouffy and I just laughed stepping into it the layers of pouf.  And I loved it.  And I just couldn't believe I would love such a big poufy dress. The one with red on it, though not so pouffy, also looked amazing.  I didn't get either btw, but I just wanted to point out that it's odd what you can find that are so different then what you think you wanted.  I just got my dress yesterday and need to get a pettiskirt for underneath it which will make it bigger, and I would never have thought that would be me.

Starfish0116

When it's THE dress, you'll know.

I always envisioned myself in a ballgown, but once I was actually engaged I was really drawn to fitted lace dresses. Before going dress shopping I was even considering being a two dress bride. I was worried if I went with a ballgown I'd regret not wearing lace, but if I went with lace would I regret not choosing a ballgown? In the end, I put on THE dress (A-line lace) and it was just right. I knew I wouldn't need a second dress.