Man attire drama - go figure...

jenn5628

Here's the situation.  FI's friend and old roommate got engaged about 6 months before and set their date for early August 2013.  FI will be a groomsman in their wedding.  Then we got engaged and set our date for early July, 2013.  FI's friend will be a groomsman in our wedding.  

We have visited and registered our WP at Moore's Clothing for Men and decided on the tuxes (dark grey Vera Wang with grey vests), but not ordered them yet.  Tonight FI gets a text from his GM saying that he went to Moore's last weekend and selected the tuxes for their wedding - same ones! same vest and everything!  

Would it be bad for our men to wear the same tuxes and them?  Unfortunately the wedding party will be pretty much the same guys - although that's where the guest list crossover ends. Would it be terrible of me to think that our wedding is first so who really cares?   I can't help but feel like if they were black no one would notice, but since they are grey, it might be a bigger deal...

Opinions please!

bridalmarch

Think back to the last wedding you attended. What were the groomsmen wearing? 

No one will notice. 

It also seems really early for both of you to be picking out GM attire. We just did ours last weekend and we're getting married next month. 

miranda holly

I can't help you at all with your post... but it sounds like both couples are in "competition".  Who has the first wedding date, who wears what... even though you "win" both those first.

Even if most ppl attend both weddings, I don't think it matters too much what the guys wear.  Now, if the bride chose a wedding dress the same as yours... that'd be a different story!

Just make sure you keep the small details of your wedding to yourself.  Tell your bridal party you want even them surprised!  Things like centerpieces, favours, flowers, etc.  That way your wedding can still be unique and all yours!

csweaney

No one will care if the guys are in the same tuxes. Most tuxes look the same anyway. 

jenn5628

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:d433dbe7-c921-4c94-ade3-1f8222a51ca4">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't help you at all with your post... <strong>but it sounds like both couples are in "competition".  Who has the first wedding date, who wears what... even though you "win" both those first. </strong>Even if most ppl attend both weddings, I don't think it matters too much what the guys wear.  Now, if the bride chose a wedding dress the same as yours... that'd be a different story! Just make sure you keep the small details of your wedding to yourself.  Tell your bridal party you want even them surprised!  Things like centerpieces, favours, flowers, etc.  That way your wedding can still be unique and all yours!
Posted by miranda holly[/QUOTE]

<div>My intent was not to imply some sort of competition, but to set a little bit of background information about timelines.  I guess when we got engaged is not that important.  I suppose I was trying to guess what she might be thinking (I don't know her that well... not sure of her bridezilla status) 'we got engaged first and now they're hijacking our wedding!' ... or something along those lines.  </div><div>
</div><div>But you ladies are right - probably no one will notice, and surely no one will care.  </div><div>
</div><div>ps: the reason we are picking things out so early is because we live 3.5 hours away from the nearest large city.  We have to pop in to do our errands when we can.  </div>

miranda holly

I don't think you are planning anything to early!!!!  I am an 8hr drive from the closest "city".  Do it while you can!!!  No one will look at anyone but YOU and you FI... and how happy you both are.  And then centrepieces, decor, etc... but no one remembers those things!

Happy planning

mlg78

I also agree that you're not planning too early.  I'm getting married in September and we got my fiance's tux last month because they were running a special.

But seriously...the tux thing is no big deal.  Like someone pointed out, you don't tend to remember what groomsmen of all people were wearing.  I'm sure you have bigger things to worry about.  You titled this post as having "drama" but the only drama being had is in your mind...

[Deleted User]

As long as it looks good it doesn't matter. My BIL wore the Vera Wang gray tux for his wedding and he looked great!

sonjaatencio

Take it as a compliment that they have chosen the same suits!  You must have great taste! The Vera Wang Grey suits are gorgeous!  ;)  Stay with it.    <div>
</div><div>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:020940e3-96e9-4cd8-83fe-8cc75a0a6e28">Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]Here's the situation.  FI's friend and old roommate got engaged about 6 months before and set their date for early August 2013.  FI will be a groomsman in their wedding.  Then we got engaged and set our date for early July, 2013.  FI's friend will be a groomsman in our wedding.   We have visited and registered our WP at Moore's Clothing for Men and decided on the tuxes (dark grey Vera Wang with grey vests), but not ordered them yet.  Tonight FI gets a text from his GM saying that he went to Moore's last weekend and selected the tuxes for their wedding - same ones! same vest and everything!   Would it be bad for our men to wear the same tuxes and them?  Unfortunately the wedding party will be pretty much the same guys - although that's where the guest list crossover ends. Would it be terrible of me to think that our wedding is first so who really cares?    I can't help but feel like if they were black no one would notice, but since they are grey, it might be a bigger deal... Opinions please!
Posted by jenn5628[/QUOTE]

</div>

jenn5628

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:b99ccfda-7cde-42c7-a3a7-db36b6961621">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Take a look at the VIPs at the Oscars this year.  You will see a few variations, but you won't see any tuxedos that aren't black. </strong>In the 1970's everyone (except us) was choosing powder blue, rose pink, tan or mint green tuxedos.  They look dated and silly now.  Our wedding photos are reasonably classic, except for the guys' haircuts and sideburns.  I'm so glad I resisted the salesclerk who tried to tell me that black tuxedos were old fashioned.  (Never take advice from someone who is trying to sell or rent you something!)
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks for assuming that we are at all as fancy as VIPs at the Oscars - but that's really not the feel we're going for at our wedding.  We are having an outdoor ceremony, barn reception in the mountains.  Not exactly black tie.</div>

beautifulmama28

personally i think that makes it easier....if its the same guys pretty much, ....they only need to go in once and thats it.

i say no biggie 

Jager1219

I think it's totally fine and we also are doing the grey Vera Wang tuxes.  In my mind they really aren't a tux (even though they are marketed as such) - they're a suit.  And I think they have a very classic look.

CMGr - in my mind, what makes something a tux as opposed to a suit is the velvet on the lapel and the stripe down the pant leg.  I know you know MUCH more about men's formalware than I do, so please educate me on the difference between the two.  But the Vera Wang "tux" in grey has neither.  The version in black has both.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:bd546d88-6564-4824-8a38-1676030616b1">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]No one will care if the guys are in the same tuxes. Most tuxes look the same anyway. 
Posted by csweaney[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div>

NYCMercedes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:a282a8db-2f49-4e36-8e79-fc6d5c4d2f8d">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Man attire drama - go figure... : Thanks for assuming that we are at all as fancy as VIPs at the Oscars - but that's really not the feel we're going for at our wedding.  We are having an outdoor ceremony, barn reception in the mountains.  Not exactly black tie.
Posted by jenn5628[/QUOTE]

If it is not exactly black tie, why are they wearing tuxes?

Jager1219

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:19382318-aa4b-4cc2-a3a5-de9779c9df80">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Man attire drama - go figure... : If it is not exactly black tie, why are they wearing tuxes?
Posted by NYCMercedes[/QUOTE]
I'm going to help clarify this for the OP.  Below is the link to the photo of the GM attire.  I personally don't believe it looks like a tux and I think it is appropriate for an outdoor wedding (which is what I'm having as well).  But please let me know what you all think as well.

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://tuxedo.menswearhouse.com/preStyledLookDetail.do?occasion=wedding&order=7">http://tuxedo.menswearhouse.com/preStyledLookDetail.do?occasion=wedding&order=7</a>

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:0532a210-f2a1-4d54-af56-e8323a5176dc">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Man attire drama - go figure... : I'm going to help clarify this for the OP.  Below is the link to the photo of the GM attire.  I personally don't believe it looks like a tux and I think it is appropriate for an outdoor wedding (which is what I'm having as well).  But please let me know what you all think as well. <a href="http://tuxedo.menswearhouse.com/preStyledLookDetail.do?occasion=wedding&order=7" rel="nofollow">http://tuxedo.menswearhouse.com/preStyledLookDetail.do?occasion=wedding&order=7</a>
Posted by Jager1219[/QUOTE]

It is considered a tux because of the satin trim on both the lapel and the pockets of the coat.  If it were a suit it would not have this detail.

Jager1219

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:337db732-90b7-4897-9efa-646d2252a0c6">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Man attire drama - go figure... : It is considered a tux because of the satin trim on both the lapel and the pockets of the coat.  If it were a suit it would not have this detail.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]
Thank you Maggie - I was wondering what exactly made something a tux vs. a suit & I figured it was the satin & the stripe on the pant leg.  This has no stripe on the pant leg and the satin pretty much is unnoticeable when you see it in person.  I actually doubt it will even show up in most photographs.

B2Z728

Go ahead and go with the grey tuxes, they sound very nice. Most people are definitely not going to remember that they're the same ones and even if they do, it really doesn't matter.

jenn5628

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_man-attire-drama-go-figure?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:7c547ec4-de06-4f4a-9245-a539facc8232Post:74c6907a-db91-49e4-8976-a7b49c39738a">Re: Man attire drama - go figure...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Man attire drama - go figure... : A tuxedo has satin facings on the lapels and a satin stripe down the trousers. The Vera Wang tuxedo is a tuxedo for two reasons: 1.  Vera Wang says it is a tuxedo.  2.  The tuxedo rental shops can charge more to rent a "designer" tuxedo. I wouldn't call it a tuxedo.  It looks more like a suit to me.  I'm betting you won't see anything like it in five years. There are no levels of formality within the tuxedo.  A tuxedo is a tuxedo. It should never be worn before 6:00 PM.  Changing the color (you shouldn't!) or styling does not make it less formal or more formal. Here is a great British site to educate anyone on tuxedo styling and etiquette:. <a href="http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Tuxedos.htm" rel="nofollow">http://www.blacktieguide.com/Contemporary/Contemp_Tuxedos.htm</a> <strong>If you want a less formal look, then the men should wear suits, which are appropriate at any time of day, and are more useful to most men than tuxedos.</strong>
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>That's wonderful, except you can't very often rent suits (nowhere that's near us anyway), and I don't feel comfortable asking our groomsmen to shell out $500+ for a new suit... these are the kind of guys who just have full suits hanging in their closets.  </div><div>
</div><div>And honestly, would anyone be mortified or offended if they wear tuxes at 3 in the afternoon? (*gasp!)

</div>

Jager1219

I understand jenn and I personally feel the same way. Sorry to hijack your post. I also don't see how Vera wang can call something a tux even though it doesn't follow the guidelines and that's ok. It's like a designer calling a dress couture but its mass made in china

CutieCrab

No one will care.

Its kind of early to do GM attire. I just did mine, and we are getting married in May. lol. Oh well, better to be early rather then late.