Vent! FI Band

beingwyrd

So...i love my FI very much and cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him. 

Now that being said: i HATE his taste in men's jewelry. he wants a  wedding band with "flash and flare" which apparently means "pricey , with diamonds"...it just rubs me the wrong way for some reason. ugh! 

any ideas on how to get him to calm down and get something a little more traditional? 

before you ask, no, i don't want mine flashy either, my engagement ring is because it was a family ring. Id prefer we both have simple wedding bands, so it isn't a case of "mine should be prettier!"

Thanks for listening,

Maggie

firsttimersluck

You're not the one that has to wear it for the rest of your life, he is. 

You two have different tastes, but that doesn't mean that you should get your way regarding HIS jewelry.

I find this post disappointing.. 

beingwyrd

I never said it was the most reasonable of annoyances  on my part. He isn't the one wearing the dress down the aisle but I limited myself to white because it was importnant to him...so compromise is the name of the game right? I will get him the ring he wants, in the end, if it is that importnant to him, but like I said in the title, I needed to vent. 

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_vent-fi-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:8cfdd1d4-4b22-41d1-a9e5-c5e958f6f7d4Post:babf0d0c-6f5b-4f63-9b87-4f86b69821d6">Re: Vent! FI Band</a>:
[QUOTE]I never said it was the most reasonable of annoyances  on my part. He isn't the one wearing the dress down the aisle but I limited myself to white because it was importnant to him...so compromise is the name of the game right? I will get him the ring he wants, in the end, if it is that importnant to him, but like I said in the title, I needed to vent. 
Posted by beingwyrd[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>That's kind of you to wear white for him for ONE day, but I'm not sure that compares to a compromise of expecting him to wear something you want him to wear for LIFE. <div>You asked about advice for getting him to "calm down" and get something more traditional so obviously this isn't JUST a "vent"; and by posting this on the internet, you are subject to different opinions. </div></div>

kateguess22

Honestly, I think you'll learn to love it. For what it symbolizes and how it is so "him" it will grow on you.

Don't worry, I totally relate because my fiance has very different taste than me sometimes and just when I think I'm not picky about something he picks the one thing that I just can't believe that he likes. But life is short and it helps me to remember that you only live once and you've got to make the choices that speak to you.

You could ask him if he wants to go try on wedding bands to see how they look on him before he makes the big decision. I'm sure he'd be willing to try on some bands that you like and as long as you don't pressure him, who knows, maybe he will like one of the simpler ones. If not though, try to just laugh. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Good luck to you.
Sorry no idea why TK formatted my response this way.

jagore08

Has he tried on wedding bands?  Take him to a jewelry store so you both can see what he wants.  In the end he should be able to wear whatever ring he wants.  You said you don't want a flashy ring so you'll get what you want, why shouldn't he?

Out of curiosity, what about it rubs you the wrong way?  Is it the style of the ring or the price?

beingwyrd

jagore:

perhaps a little of both? I mean, my taste in jewelry is simple in general but Im not opposed to some fake blingy fun, you know? But when talking real stones? He is ALL about things having to be natural stones and expensive and I guess I'm more frugal? (ok, cheap) I know it is about what he wants and I will do my best to keep my opinions to myself on it because I've agreed to be okay with whatever he picks out....

I've got control issues, but he knows that and is used to it by now. I try, heknows it. we will wind up with something livable for both of us. 

Though i do have to say that my ring is 100% his style and not mine. Yes it was given to us by family but i didn't "get what i want" BUT i do LOVE my ring, because it isn't about the ring itself, like someone said. 

-M

AmJam04

I don't get what the big deal is....
Why does it matter if he wants a fancy ring? Why do you get to choose?

As long as what he wants isn't out of your price range, I'd say he's allowed to choose what he likes!

Epiphany1031

I think that if a fancy ring is what he wants, you should want that for him too..  If it were me anyway, that's how I'd want it: whatever makes him happy. It's a piece of jewelry that should reflect his style. As long as it's in your budget, let him get whatever he wants.

arrestclementine

I don't know maybe i'm in the minority, but FI picked out my e-ring so I figured I should get to pick out his wedding band.  I knew what he wanted/liked though, and I had something in mind that I wanted so I kind of met him half way...

firsttimersluck

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_vent-fi-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:8cfdd1d4-4b22-41d1-a9e5-c5e958f6f7d4Post:69a5de23-9329-448b-ac6b-11bc47b249fe">Re: Vent! FI Band</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't know maybe i'm in the minority, but FI picked out my e-ring so I figured I should get to pick out his wedding band.  I knew what he wanted/liked though, and I had something in mind that I wanted so I kind of met him half way...
Posted by amber0389[/QUOTE]

<div>You didn't give him any ideas as to your style? He completely winged it? If you had hated the ring, you would still have kept it? </div><div>
</div><div>My H and I  are a little glued at the hip, so he knew exactly what I wanted, and we picked it out together. We also picked out the bands together. He really wanted our bands to be simple and match just like his parents. Seeing how excited he got when we found matching bands was a moment I will never forget. I wanted him to have exactly what he wanted, because he's just as much a part of this marriage as I am. Of course, we also made every single, little detail decision for the wedding TOGETHER. I didn't do anything without him... We're a bit of a minority there. </div>

arrestclementine

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_vent-fi-band?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:8cfdd1d4-4b22-41d1-a9e5-c5e958f6f7d4Post:654c010b-53d4-4f8a-8bad-53f4e09a40a8">Re: Vent! FI Band</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Vent! FI Band : You didn't give him any ideas as to your style? He completely winged it? If you had hated the ring, you would still have kept it?  My H and I  are a little glued at the hip, so he knew exactly what I wanted, and we picked it out together. We also picked out the bands together. He really wanted our bands to be simple and match just like his parents. Seeing how excited he got when we found matching bands was a moment I will never forget. I wanted him to have exactly what he wanted, because he's just as much a part of this marriage as I am. Of course, we also made every single, little detail decision for the wedding TOGETHER. I didn't do anything without him... We're a bit of a minority there. 
Posted by firsttimersluck[/QUOTE]

LOL.. YES!  I had no idea he was going to propose.  No we didn't look at any rings/stores before he bought.  Is my ring something I would have picked out, no it's not, do I love it just the same?  Yes I do.  Does he know me better than anyone yes!  But we still have different styles... I mean I didn't just pick a ring and say here you go but I knew what he liked before I bought his... Like he didn't want diamonds so I didn't buy a ring with stones...

ETA: I think thats why I love my ring, is because he went out and went to several stores by himself and looked at rings and picked something that he liked that he thought I would like as well.  It meant so much more to me that he picked it out... But I know not everyone is like that.

Maggie0829

He has to wear it not you.  Everyone styles are different so the ring should reflect their own personal style.  Would you want to wear something everyday that you absoutely hated let alone spent a good chunck of change on?  I don't think so.

Sophia1913

Maybe I'm missing something but for me, what he picked as a ring choice wasn't that big of a deal to me, as long as he picked one.  From ring shopping with my FI, I found he is actually pickier then I am.  I picked my bands and was done with it and he kept going back and forth between 2 different bands.  Only because he asked me for my opinion did I say I do like a little bling on even a mans ring, and then I left it at that.  In the end he got one he really likes and it does have some bling on it and IMO is probably is a little pricey for a man's ring but we both love it and for me, it was so worth it once I saw how happy he was with it.

I say let him pick and wear what he wants.  I think we gotta pick and choose our battles wisely and this personally wouldn't be one that I'd make in to a huge ordeal.