How many "rules" make you a bridezilla?

Meganalexis

I think that since your wedding is at the end of 2011, discussing these tiny details is VERY premature.  I understand you are excited, but you will make you and your fiance crazy if you keep going at this right for another year and a half.  There is obviously a price range your sister may spend on a dress, so have her start saving for the high end so she'll be prepared.  But congrats!  I can tell you all are very excited.

elisa952

the 'rules' you've mentioned are actually less rules than telling your BM's exactly which dress, color, and style - so I say you're not even close to 'bridezilla'  - wording in a way that's not 'command' vs request = a bonus I def agree there!
  I have chosen the dress color and style, sent my BMs the site to order online (J.Crew) - and that's that I don't feel 'bridezilla' about it!

manda22387

I am doing the same thing with my girls, all the same color different styles. I think if your church is really conservative then shawls or pashminas are the more "anti-bridezilla" request. You want them to have something they feel comfortable in and it is thier money... Also I agree with nhelene Spaghetti straps can be just as bad as strapless.

gmaccaro

To reiterate the opinions above, this is NOT at all bridezilla behavior. 

I think about every wedding in which I have been asked to be a bridesmaid, the bride chose one dress that we were all going to wear. I think that is actually completely fine, it's the bride's day! Now of course, (just to vent a little) I have had an extensive ordeal trying to make my bridesmaids happy. They refuse every option I offer them and I'm even buying their dresses!! I'm so tired and frustrated at this point that I'm just going to pick the color and tell them they can choose whatever dress they would like from the same designer.

Maybe I'm guilty of needing to be a little MORE bridezilla haha.

CandPBrown

I have the same rules...except instead of "can't be strappless" rule...I have a "no cleavage" rule.

agibbs8863

I think your being totally reasonable! I picked out all of my bridesmaid 's dresses myself. Thankfully they all LOVE them ;o)

meoyen

Absolutely not. Every wedding I've been to and in, the bride chose the dresses, but considered the bmaids in the color choice and style to make sure everyone liked it. It must fit what your expectations are for your wedding. I'm not letting my girls wear strapless. I'm picking the dress out, the colors to look good with my theme and my dress, and I'm keeping it at a good price range and making sure everyone looks nice in it and likes the color (or at least most of them like the color).

ldelkie

To answer your question, i am getting married this summer and i do not at all think it makes you a bridezilla if you put rules on your dresses as it is yours and your fiance's day and i think it should be the way you want it.. i hope this helps..

Meggy24781

I'd say not. I've done about the same thing with the dress colour (approximate) and style to a point since my MOH is in New York state and my bridesmaids are in Alberta and Arizona. As long as you don't start insisting on them dropping 30lbs and wearing a certain height of heel you're still in the clear and your attendants won't be changing their phone numbers and going into the witness protection program. Good luck with your wedding

etaraskewich

It seems okay to me, especially since you're giving them different designers to choose from. Otherwise it might be a little too specific.

shara82

I took all by BMs out to lunch and then we went wedding dress shopping.  After that we went dress shopping for them at David's Bridal.  I picked out the color (apple) and at first told them they could pick out what ever dress they wanted.  BUT... one of them tried on a dress that I absolutely loved, so I told them that was the dress they were all wearing.  Accepting an invatation to be a BM means you accept all the rules, no matter what.  This is going to be one of the best days of your life, and your girls will be by your side no matter what.  Tell them what to wear, how to do their hair, makeup, nails- tell them to skip instead of walk (lol that is a joke)... Point is, they know you will want things done a specific way and they want to make the day perfect for you, not a hassle.  They will have a wedding someday and know just what you went through.  It's only one day, you deserve to have what ever you want. 

futuremrsrichardhall

I don't think you're bridezilla at all. In fact, you sound really nice and accommodating!

jmtbv

If you worry that your more full busted BM's will want pick a strapless dress anyway, try telling the to pick one with a high cut, sweetheart neck line. The cut is really great for women of that shape, and covers A LOT more than the straight across neck lines. 

efcool

That is not too many rules.  I mean you're letting them pick out their own dress.  That's awesome.  I chose to do the same thing -- let my bridesmaids pick out a black or black with a little bit of white knee length dress.  I want them to be comfortable in their dress and all five of them have very different body shapes.  One style is not going to suit them all.  

BTW, I would advise you to ask to see the dress on your BMs before they buy, or before they take off the tags.  Just as a double check -- you might find that they have a different idea of modesty than you do.

chrys_anthemum

I think that those rules are more than reasonable!  Heck, many people (myself included, most likely) tell the BMs what dress to wear, what color, etc.  Putting expectations on and letting them pick the dress themself is nice

jmklein80

I don't think those are many rules at all! I'd have also said the dresses have to be from one specific designer (so the colors would be exact)...I hope it works out for you! I was originally going to do that but got cold feet...afraid I wouldn't like my pics as much withouth the uniform look. I really don't think you've set too many rules...especially if you tell them before they start looking for dresses. Good luck!

Mikayla11

The fact that you are worried about being a Bridezilla at all means you are very far from 'zilla territory.

drjewell

I must be a bridezilla though I do no think that I am but its your wedding and it's what you want.  I am getting married in August 2011.  I considered different body shapes and tried to find a dress the would compliment the bigger ladies as well as the thin ladies and something that was not too expensive but I chose the dress and said this is what I have chosen because it is my wedding and its my choice as well as it is your's plain and simple.  If someone gives you flack about it that's not the kind of person you want in it anyway. It's your day don't forget that!

sjalvarez85

I don't think so at all. I think the only thing you should do to accommodate the bridesmaids is allow them some say in the style (since body types can vary so much), and give them leeway on the price. Bottom line-you're the one that will be looking at the pictures and remembering the dresses. If they don't like the dress they can ditch it afterwards-you can't get rid of your wedding pictures, so you should be the ultimate decision maker.

DinahMarcinko

Wow That is such a great question.  I actualy watched that program for the first time last weekend.  It's pretty scary..... but I think you approach bridezilla grounds by thinking to much.  

I'm getting married 11-11-11 and havn'te even though about color, never mind strapless, and length. 

My 17 year old daughter is my MOH and I told she could choose what she feels great in.  Because there is much time, she's actually coming up with a lot of great idea that my other bride's maids are falling in love with.

I just think because you have the time you should at least take the time to see and listen your sister's idea's. 

Good luck

mormongirl07

that is not too much to ask at all. atleast you're letting your girls pick the dresses lol. im not, but they did have a say in it tho so that counts a lil. but you told them how you want it and that's that. it'syour wedding and it wouldn't be good for them to come to it in a dress that'll take from you. lol

AmandaO14

I had picked the color of my bridesmaids dress and then we all went shopping together.  I didn't know the length or style so I really wanted to see lots of different dresses on them to decide.  We wound up liking the same dress for everyone and I had them vote whether or not to have straps.  It was 3 against 1 so I had them all put straps on and told my one BM she could cut them off after group pictures.  I think a lot of girls like straps, so unless one of your BMs only likes strapless dresses nothing on your list should be a problem.

lionheartlisaa

You're not being bridezilla at all.  I'm getting together with all the girls so they can collectively pick a dress.  I do have one tip, however, don't "save up" for the dress you want, and I don't recommend you bridesmaids do the same either. 

I fell in love with a 7 beautiful bridesmaids dresses... that have been discontinued.  I'm shopping at the end of a season, so the old is going out and the new is coming in. Some places consistently sell the same cuts, but many change from season to season.  I recommend going somewhere that has tons of dresses, have them try on everything in their size, then put whatever they love on lay away.  They can wait until next year to have alterations done, but if they see something they REALLY REALLY want now, they should take it now, or wait until next March when new styles come out.

The same goes for you.  Lots of dresses are from catalogs and you can buy them anywhere, but they also change periodically, so they may not be available forever.  I suggest you go to a shop that has tons and tons of dresses, and try on everything they have in your size.  When I was shopping everyone was saying "buy this" but I really wanted "that."  So I went to a bridal shop and tried on everything they had in my size, and close to my size, until I fell in love with the perfect dress.  Just take that style number with you, find all the local vendors and shop around until someone fits your budget or has a payment plan that'll work for you.  Lots of Bridal shops have dresses, rentals, decorations, etc. and they will discount you for buying a certain amount from them, or give you something for free.  

Just one more thing... be leery of shopping online!  Many online stores just post pictures of dresses, but what they send you is something similar, not exact.  Check their BBB accreditations and make sure they're legit.  If you're buying off of ebay, check comments.  Sometimes people leave positive feedback, but they say things like "my dress came with a broken zipper," or "it was ok for the price."

Ok, one more "One more" thing.  Google whoever you're buying from.  You may find reviews on  sites like yellowbook, yahoo, etc. and I highly recommend reading these.  Someone recommended a bridal shop that was very cheap to me, but when I read the reviews they were all awful.  There were complaints about the staff, store, finished product, etc. from more than 3 customers.  When I visited the store, the staff was nice, but what they said about the store itself was totally true.

Hope this helps, and I didn't leave info you already had.  

OhDaniGirl

I'm one of those always a bridesmaid never a bride types right now, so speaking with three rounds of bridesmaid duty under my belt your requests are not even close to bridezillaish and if any of your bridesmaids have ever been in another wedding they will realize how liberal you are being!  The first wedding I was in the bride demanded I lose weight, told us if we showed up in flip-flops we were kicked out (our dresses were floor length) and said my usual taste in jewellery was completely unacceptable.

trickyj04

no you arent, i did the same thing but i made all the girls wear the same dress. Mine also had to wear straps, because I didnt want the 36DD falling out during the reception, and it gave my A-B maids the opportunity to wear a pushup bra if they wanted. Its your day, they need to deal, its only for a couple hours. And if they did complain they truly arent there for you.

callawaykl

You're not bing a Bridezill at all. It's your wedding; but you're allowing your girls to pick their own styles with only 3 little rules. I think you're being flexible and considerate!

themidge

limiting them too much by letting them pick whatever dress they want? no way!  you are being more than reasonable, and all of your bridesmaids are lucky that you are their bride!

jessicawebb

I don`t think you are being a bridezilla

I picked the dress style and color for my girls, but the dress i picked didnt work out so we all agreed on a dress together but they all humored me first and tryed on the dress i picked and three or four other styles too. But I also went with the no strapless on them because they are more chesty and I wanted more than boobs in my wedding photos plus conservative church.

Also what we did is we paid for half the dresses so both parties only paid like $60 each. And actually with it that way since they dont need alterations I put all the dress in the closet with mine and my mothers and flower girls and than I can take them in to be steamed together and take them to the church together ( i know thats crossing the bridezilla line) but for me its easier to not worry about those little details

kwilliams0330

I do not think what you are asking of your girls is too much, you have a vision for your wedding & as your bridesmaids they should honor those wishes (to an extent of course). But you are absolutely fine with your requests.

sweetpea0911

Wow - this post totally blew up on me!!  Thank you for all of the supportive comments and all of the suggestions...I've even written a lot of them down so I don't forget.  A bridezilla is the last thing I want to be and I appreciate the affirmation that I'm not one.

You all made my night.  Thanks!