Bridesmaid in a suit?

[Deleted User]

Hello everyone. My wedding is 2 years off (June 2014) so I'm still in the Idea-Gathering stage. However, we have solidly decided on the wedding party, and it has brought up some questions.

We decided to have 4 attendants each, so we could include all our siblings. I have 2 sisters and 1 FSIL who will be bridesmaids, leaving a space for my best friend to be my MOH. FI has 1 brother as well, who is a groomsman, leaving him space for 2 more groomsmen friends, and his best friend as his best man. All in all, it's a pretty good deal and we're both happy with it. And our parents are happy too, because all our siblings are in the wedding party.

My "problem" is with my middle sister (Rachel), who will absolutely oppose wearing a dress. I don't mind this, and I definitely want her to be comfortable, so I'm not complaining about it. I just wonder how to make it work when the other 3 will be wearing dresses. Should Rach be given a tux that matches the guys? Or her own special suit that matches the color of the other bridesmaids' dresses? What would you do?

PS- As I said, I want her to be happy and comfortable, so I definitely don't want to force her into a dress that she'll hate. And I can guarantee she'll hate it, because my other BMs will want very girly dresses.

kmmssg

It is WAY too early to even be going here, but do not put that poor girl in a guys tux.  Talk about unflatering.  I think a pantsuit that coordinates with the BM dresses is an excellent idea.  But, please don't start asking people and planning dresses.  Hang out on the wedding party board and you will see what happens a year or so down the line to brides who started this stuff way too early.

QueerFemme

Why don't you ask her what she wants to wear? I would suggest a suit or tux with complimenting colors. It can eith be a rental tux like the groomsmen or a nicely taolired women's suit, depending on what she is more comfortable in.

[Deleted User]

I guess I should clarify a few things. 2014 was not our original date. We initially planned for June 14, 2013. We were about 1/4 of the way through planning when we decided to push back our date so we can take more time to save up the money. But we're already in wedding-planning-mode and so are our families, and it's hard to stop that once you get started. I understand that suddenly we find ourselves very early to the party so to speak, but I still think it's good to keep planning. That way we won't have as much to do last-minute.

That being said, I have only asked the MOH so far, and FI has only asked his BM. I've also heard horror stories about chosing your bridesmaids too soon. But like I said, it wasn't too soon until about a week ago when we changed our date. 

I do definitely plan on asking Rachel what she would prefer. I was just looking for some ideas of options to lay before her. She's never planned a wedding (or been in one since she was 13) so I doubt she really knows what the options would be. And neither do I, so I was hoping that someone on this board might have already dealt with this "problem" in their own planning and could tell me what they have done.

A men's suit would look very flattering on her, however. She is tall and very thin, and has no chest or hips (no curves at all). However, I will definitely not force her into anything.

And do not worry, dresses/suits/whatever will not be picked out or ordered for a long time yet. So there's no real need to tell me not to.

Oh, and my FI just came up with another idea, which would be to have her wear just the black pants and white buttonup shirt of a suit, with the vest in the same color as the dresses, but no jacket. Does that sound like another good option?

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_bridesmaid-in-a-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:f5c825df-1b69-4bfd-812f-c7739d21371cPost:d6aa195c-0693-468c-9ed2-b136ba372dfb">Re: Bridesmaid in a suit?</a>:
[QUOTE]I guess I should clarify a few things. 2014 was not our original date. We initially planned for June 14, 2013. We were about 1/4 of the way through planning when we decided to push back our date so we can take more time to save up the money. But we're already in wedding-planning-mode and so are our families, and it's hard to stop that once you get started. I understand that suddenly we find ourselves very early to the party so to speak, but I still think it's good to keep planning. That way we won't have as much to do last-minute. That being said, I have only asked the MOH so far, and FI has only asked his BM. I've also heard horror stories about chosing your bridesmaids too soon. But like I said, it wasn't too soon until about a week ago when we changed our date.  I do definitely plan on asking Rachel what she would prefer. I was just looking for some ideas of options to lay before her. She's never planned a wedding (or been in one since she was 13) so I doubt she really knows what the options would be. And neither do I, so I was hoping that someone on this board might have already dealt with this "problem" in their own planning and could tell me what they have done. A men's suit would look very flattering on her, however. She is tall and very thin, and has no chest or hips (no curves at all). However, I will definitely not force  her into anything. And do not worry, dresses/suits/whatever will not be picked out or ordered for a long time yet. So there's no real need to tell me not to. Oh, and my FI just came up with another idea, which would be to have her wear just the black pants and white buttonup shirt of a suit, with the vest in the same color as the dresses, but no jacket. Does that sound like another good option?
Posted by Jmstaaf[/QUOTE]

<div>Nah, go for the jacket if you're going for the rest of the ensemble! (She could then take the jacket off at the reception if she wanted to, like anyone else in a suit) I think a lady would look fetching in menswear--if she wants to wear menswear.</div>

nextrightthing

If she wants to wear a tux, I think it'll be a-ok.  See what she thinks.  I have female friends who would definitely choose a tux over a dress!

Avion22

There are some really lovely women's suits in varrying cuts and levels or formality.  Some look like formal dresses but have wide-legged pants, and some are more in the style of men's suits, but taylored for women.  If you went with a dress-like suit with wide-legged pants, then I think it would be nice if it was the same color as the BM dresses.  If she wants something more like a men's suit then you can incorporate your BM dress color into her accessories (would she wear nice heels, wedges, or balet flats?  maybe you could match her shoes to the BM dress).

I think you should give her the option to pick something she feels comfortable in.  Maybe you chould do a google images search, and sit down with her and show her the pictures.  Then go shopping together.