Name Change

LoriAH11

Good morning! For some reason all morning my name change has been on my mind. I don't know why, the wedding isn't until June of next year so I have plenty of time to make a decision. However, it has been a nagging though all freaking morning.

I just wanted to some feed back from people who took the last name all together (I'm going to go out on a limb and guess most people), people who dropped their middle name to keep their last name, people who did the hyphenated thing (or is this more trouble than its worth) or anything and everything in between.

My FI is really understanding and laid back and just wants me to do what I'm comfortable and happy doing.

flyjawn

i kept my name.  it was never an option for me to change my mine.  i have a hard time understand the concept as a whole.

i tried to imagine hyphenating but it just seemed ridiculous to me.  i loved my husband's last name and mine is super boring but i still couldn't do it.  my name is my name.

andyandhillary

I dropped my maiden name entirely and adopted H's name.  It was a big deal to me and I mostly did it out of convenience for when we have kids and what not.  I went from a difficult to pronounce and spell last name to another difficult to pronounce and spell last name. 

MarriedInAFever

I'm getting married next month (scary!) and I struggled a lot more with the name change than I expected. I'm planning to hyphenate. I do want to change it. But I wanted to hypenate professionally and hyphenating just seems to suit me better.

I'm already starting to get mail addressed to "Mrs. NewLastName" and I'm like, "Who the f is that?"

andyandhillary

Oh, and just my observation:  If you have kids please do not hypen their last names.  I have a few friends in that situation and they HATE it. 

[Deleted User]

I haven't changed my name yet (we got married this past April). I'm going to do it eventually, just haven't gotten around to it yet. When I do, I'll take H's last name and drop mine completely. No hyphen. Honestly, it will be a relief because his last name is easy to spell and you can't say it wrong. People can't say or spell mine correctly no matter how long they've known me.

kd.joseph

For myself I changed my last name to his. I'm old fashioned like that, plus I think it just makes things easier. Although the process is a PITA.

If your FI is ok with your decision, then do what you're comfortable with. Are you really attached to your maiden name, is there no one in the family to carry your fathers name, these are a few questions you can ask yourself.

Everyone has their own reasons for what they do. Go with whats right for you.

pooh8402

I dropped my maiden name entirely and changed my last name to his, even though there is no one in the family to carry on our last name (all girls, no cousins with the same last name). I was raised to do this, I'm pretty old-fashioned in that way. in fact, it wasn't until I met my MIL that I found out that people sometimes drop their middle name and move their maiden to their middle. that was unheard of to me until 4 years ago.

betrothed123

I dropped my maiden name and took my H's last name.  I did it because it made us feel more like a family of our own.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:dc28d3ce-14fc-4c9e-b7c7-e1ce76358cae">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]For myself I changed my last name to his. I'm old fashioned like that, plus I think it just makes things easier. Although the process is a PITA. If your FI is ok with your decision, then do what you're comfortable with. <strong>Are you really attached to your maiden name, is there no one in the family to carry your fathers name,</strong> these are a few questions you can ask yourself. Everyone has their own reasons for what they do. Go with whats right for you.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]

This is kind of a factor. My dad didn't have any boys, poor guy (or supremely blessed :) ) lived in a house with three daughters. My sister has two daughters so she wasn't able to use the maiden name as a first or middle name for a son (the last name is more masculine).

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:7ecf2550-4a86-4573-b570-6543ba5dba1d">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I dropped my maiden name and took my H's last name.  I did it because it made us feel more like a family of our own.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

I love your answer.

KatyRoseM

I'm changing mine, it means a lot to us to have the same last name and changing his was not a practical option.  I like it, saying the new name is exciting, also using it will be a big thrill for a while at least. 

I am keeping my name, as a second middle name.  I know it will probably never be used but that way it will still be there.  We are thinking about giving it as a middle name for the kids (or one of the kids) but there seems to be a security issue with that, banks always ask for your mother's madden name, if its your middle name its easy to guess. 

[Deleted User]

I changed my name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:56deb8f9-9b43-4e7f-9492-bf87d4deb74e">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I changed my name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

Phoebe!!

mrscarter052011

I am dropping my middle name and taking my maiden name as my middle and then his last name.  My FI would have agreed to whatever I wanted but I didn't want to hyphenate but for professional reasons I wanted my maiden name to be part of my new name (I will have my master's before we get married but won't have my professional licenses until after).  Good luck with whatever you decide.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:3af94ebb-bb81-436e-ab26-22aa72440f58">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and just my observation:  If you have kids please do not hypen their last names.  I have a few friends in that situation and they HATE it. 
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

No, I wouldn't do that. Honestly, I'll probably go ahead and change my last name legally and hyphenate professionally. It's just too confusing.

Knottie1435582995

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:56deb8f9-9b43-4e7f-9492-bf87d4deb74e">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I changed my name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

Well, shiit, I guess I'll have to be Crap Bag

rubyjem00

I kept my maiden name. I am the last person in my family to have the name so I just couldn't give it up. My husband's last name is so common and it has actually caused some problems and confusion for him (ex: he almost didn't get a job because someone with his same name, living in the same town, was a defendant in an arson trial). He likes the anonymity that comes with having such a common name but I don't.

I will admit that I would prefer if we had the same name. I asked my DH to take my last name but he wasn't comfortable with that - and I completely understand that. I am not ruling out ever changing my name. But at this point, I am just not comfortable doing so.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:3af94ebb-bb81-436e-ab26-22aa72440f58">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and just my observation:  If you have kids please do not hypen their last names.  I have a few friends in that situation and they HATE it. 
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I for sure won't do this. I am traditional enough that I think the kids should have the father's last name (providing he is in the picture).

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:25083238-e399-4178-9859-11accad92f09">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change : Well, shiit, I guess I'll have to be Crap Bag
Posted by melhunny[/QUOTE]

Yep. First name Crap. Last name Bag.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:0fa08189-c7ca-4d22-bb1c-016b25dadf41">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't changed my name yet (we got married this past April). I'm going to do it eventually, just haven't gotten around to it yet. When I do, I'll take H's last name and drop mine completely. No hyphen. Honestly, it will be a relief because his last name is easy to spell and you can't say it wrong. People can't say or spell mine correctly no matter how long they've known me.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

I can see myself waiting a while to change mine too. I actually was complaining one day how I've got to get my passport renewed b/c it expired this year and we'll probably go somewhere for the honemoon that I will need it. Then I'll have to turn right back around after that and get it renewed again with my new name. I joked and told him I wasn't going to change my name for 10 years. Sweet guy just laughed and said "I don't care, that is fine".

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:be7b3e61-eb9d-4cfb-8d9d-8a062106b032">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change : Yep. First name Crap. Last name Bag.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]


This is an excellent idea. I wish you all had not already taken all of the good names.

stephl3055

I changed mine, but it was a decision I thought about for a really long time.  I am white and DH is Vietnamese, so I felt like I was losing a part of my identity by dropping my Scottish last name and taking his Vietnamese last name. 

But in the end after thinking about which last name our kid's would have, it just seemed way too complicated for me to keep my name or to hyphenate it.  My parents were divorced when I was young, so my mom and I always had a different last name and for some reason it really confused a lot of people.  Teachers at school would just assume that my mom was my step-mom, and I didn't want that for our future kids.

Lenore2010

I changed my name to his. I wanted us to have one family name. My last name is not really hyphen material with any name, least of all his.

It has created a little professional confusion, but nothing bad. I am glad I did it.

K Byte

I'm already using his last name socially, but I'm going to legally change it after the honeymoon (international destinations on a cruise and I already have a passport in my maiden name). I'm going from the middle-end of the alphabet to the almost beginning, and from a 3-syllable last name that gets a lot of "Is that, uh, Greek? Italian? Polish? That's really ... different!" to 2 syllables that hopefully NO ONE will mispronounce Needless to say I'm really looking forward to it.

AdeleDazeem

I haven't read all the responses, but I'm not changing my name.  My parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life. 

I am more than willing to use his name socially, however.  He's my husband and I would never correct someone who calls me "Mrs. HisLastName" because that is definitely part of who I am.

Legally, however, I will never change my name. 

Anysunrise

I'll be taking his last name. I'm not exactly attached to my maiden name, I've only met my dad's side of the family once, and he hasn't been around all that much since I was 3. Plus I have 2 brothers. And I won't lie, the idea of being Mrs. Stephanie *hislastname* makes me estatic.

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:97dfd992-d973-43c9-bcbb-7dd2bf7e1699">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't read all the responses, but I'm not changing my name.  My parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life.  I am more than willing to use his name socially, however.  He's my husband and I would never correct someone who calls me "Mrs. HisLastName" because that is definitely part of who I am. Legally, however, I will never change my name. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

I think this is an excellent summary of how I feel.

sctfrk1314

I'll be taking his last name and moving my maiden name to a second middle name. I've thought about this question for a long time. I love my parents and want to keep my family's name but I think, as some posters have said, that it creates confusion when you have children. By keeping my maiden name as a middle name I will still have it with me, which makes me happy

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:2446fc1e-c21d-4ce2-b4ab-70dbd7ecf0f0">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change : I think this is an excellent summary of how I feel.
Posted by LoriAH11[/QUOTE]
If this is true you have your answer.  Don't change your name if you feel that strongly about keeping it.

staceytaylor0704

I am taking his last name and keeping my middle name..

I don't really feel the need to keep my maiden name in there because this is my second marriage and I've already dropped my maiden name.. I want to get totally rid of my ex's last name though (I never legally changed it back, so thats what I'm currently using) Might as well just call me Stacey Douchebag.