Name Change

LoriAH11

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:e9f21ec6-6061-4288-a6eb-fcbaa168ce5f">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I am taking his last name and keeping my middle name.. I don't really feel the need to keep my maiden name in there because this is my second marriage and I've already dropped my maiden name.. I want to get totally rid of my ex's last name though (I never legally changed it back, so thats what I'm currently using) Might as well just call me Stacey Douchebag.
Posted by staceytaylor0704[/QUOTE]

I can totally see why you're changing yours! I agree, you should certainly change it. From what little bit I can tell by your picture you are far too cute to go by "Stacey Douhebag".

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:ff7b7daf-4f00-4005-be64-d48d07d6a46a">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]i kept my name.  it was never an option for me to change my mine.  i have a hard time understand the concept as a whole. i tried to imagine hyphenating but it just seemed ridiculous to me.  i loved my husband's last name and mine is super boring but i still couldn't do it.  my name is my name.
Posted by flyjawn[/QUOTE]

This. Both Fi and I are keeping our names exactly as they are. I can't imagine it will be more difficult when I have children. (Likely, we'll give them FI's last name, but not 100% sure.) Lots of people have different last names than their children due to divorce, etc. Anyway, my name is long and complicated, so I couldn't even hyphenate it, although FI's last name is super short and easy. Plus, part of me thinks, "Why should I hyphenate if he doesn't?" It isn't fair that only I should have to decide what to do with my name.

polichik

I'm adding FI's last name as my second last name, and he's adding my last name as his second middle name. So, before the wedding, we were:

Jane Fonda Smith
John Tom Anderson

We'll then be:
Jane Fonda Smith Anderson
John Tom Smith Anderson

We'll go socially as "The Smith Anderson Family," I'll go as Jane Smith Anderson professionally, and FI will still go as John Anderson professionally. It was a great way for both of us to include the other's last name without FI changing his last name professionally, which he didn't want to do.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:6b2ec3c8-9b0d-4bf2-a1c5-5bc5db19d3a1">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm adding FI's last name as my second last name, and he's adding my last name as his second middle name. So, before the wedding, we were: Jane Fonda Smith John Tom Anderson We'll then be: Jane Fonda Smith Anderson John Tom Smith Anderson We'll go socially as "The Smith Anderson Family," I'll go as Jane Smith Anderson professionally, and FI will still go as John Anderson professionally. It was a great way for both of us to include the other's last name without FI changing his last name professionally, which he didn't want to do.
Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]
I think this is the coolest way of going about it that I've ever heard.

polichik

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:752430a7-c7c8-4870-b7ce-f704fe54cf9e">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change : I think this is the coolest way of going about it that I've ever heard.
Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

Thanks!! It took us forever to figure it out, but I'm so happy with it. It's really hard for a guy to change his name in a lot of states, but fortunately California's a little more laid-back ;)

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:3af94ebb-bb81-436e-ab26-22aa72440f58">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, and just my observation:  If you have kids please do not hypen their last names.  I have a few friends in that situation and they HATE it. 
Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

Huh. All my friends with hyphenated last names love them!

betrothed123

NY gave us the option of having the H change his name, the wife change hers, or both change to a name that's created out of a combination of the 2 original names.  When H found out he pushed really hard to take my name but that weirded me out a bit because I'm more traditional.

staceytaylor0704

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:2bb0a2d0-2f27-435a-8d0e-da0f95383d9f">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Name Change : I can totally see why you're changing yours! I agree, you should certainly change it. From what little bit I can tell by your picture you are far too cute to go by "Stacey Douhebag".
Posted by LoriAH11[/QUOTE]

hahaha thanks <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

a-bride-to-be!

I don't plan on changing my last name. FI is a little hurt by it but after giving him the most important reasons (last in line, it's extremely uncommon, if you hear my last name in the news, it's a relative) he's sort of ok with it. I've thought about hyphenating, but I can't really see myself with the same last name as his parents, who are total douchebags.

TheCranberry

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:97dfd992-d973-43c9-bcbb-7dd2bf7e1699">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I haven't read all the responses, but I'm not changing my name.  My parents gave me a name when I was born and that is my name for life.  I am more than willing to use his name socially, however.  He's my husband and I would never correct someone who calls me "Mrs. HisLastName" because that is definitely part of who I am. Legally, however, I will never change my name. 
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]


This is how I feel.  I identify very strongly with my name so I will not be changing it.

nicholssquared

My FI and I have the same last name - no relation, of course. But it does make the whole decision super easy.

Though I have had several relatives tell me to hyphenate my last name and become Mrs. Nichols-Nichols. Very amusing.

katiewhompus

I took his last name, so I'm now Kristi middle hislastname.

I've always grown up thinking/knowing I would take my husband's name. Partly because of the tradition and partly because I am not fond of my maiden name. It is not hard to spell or say but people butcher it horribly. I did have one work published under my maiden name but I no longer work in that field so that wasn't a huge concern of mine.

SarahElizabeth523

I cannot see not taking fh's last name. Maybe it's because I'm from the south and thats how it's done here but I just think that it's extremly rude to your fh and his family not to take his last name. marriage is about 2 becoming 1. but I guess it's whatever floats your boat.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_name-change?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:03a171c4-63ee-441a-a0eb-17221e1b228aPost:010998f4-e433-48be-9d8d-03eee2b69f0d">Re: Name Change</a>:
[QUOTE]I cannot see not taking fh's last name. Maybe it's because I'm from the south and thats how it's done here but I just think that it's extremly rude to your fh and his family not to take his last name. marriage is about 2 becoming 1. but I guess it's whatever floats your boat.
Posted by SarahElizabeth523[/QUOTE]

I don't see it as rude at all, but it can make for hurt feelings and some confusion with kids.

If I were to have continued in the archaeology field I would have probably kept my maiden name legally and gone by his socially. A lot of people, especially (in my experience) older women (late 20's and up) are very attached to their name both professionally and emotionally and don't want to give it up. I see no problem with that.

Patineuse1124

** Heads up to those that want to make their maiden name their middle name, you can't do it in some states (CA, NJ, NY, OH, PA, WA - http://www.missnowmrs.com/Blog/index.php/2010/07/maiden-to-middle-name-change.html), well at least not easily.  When you get married you get a "freebie" name change, but otherwise you have to go through the courts which can be $$$.  So everybody should choose wisely, as if you change your mind it could be costly.

I wanted to do the move maiden name to middle name thing since I'm published academically and want to hang onto my maiden name for that, but for everything else want to go by my FI's last name.  I'm getting married in NY so I have to come up with another option b/c I can't justify spending thousands to go with my original idea.  Currently leaning towards hyphenating legally and professionally, but taking FI's name socially.  I have a couple more months to decide.

brookelynpaisley

I took my maiden name as my middle name. My given middle name was my mom's maiden name and I honestly hated it. It wasn't pretty and I got teased early in life when kids found out what it was. All my life I wanted to change it to something that complimented my FN. However, when it came down to it, I didn't want to go through the hassle of petitioning for a new middle name, it seemed kind of silly to do so - just pick some name that wasn't truly me - and I really didn't want to drop my former name entirely.

brookelynpaisley

Also, my mom's last name is hyphenated. I personally think it's a freaking pain in the ass. But then, she doesn't use it consistently. She's Wagner-Jones legally and sometimes professionally and with her banks, but Jones socially and sometimes professionally. She's a university employee and I almost got dropped one semester because my tuition credit was applied to Jones and she was Wagner-Jones in their system. I just think it's a confusing option that I would never have gone for.