I CANT BELIEVE IT!!

abbiewebster

WOW ok so the wedding is coming up so i was calling around finding out guests names etc and one of fis "friends" just told me that he is bringing fi's EX WIFE as a date....i was like wtf........i flipped out and told him if he was going to bring her he wouldnt be welcome ......a bit more info they arent dating she is actually married to someone elsewhich makes me believe that shes only coming to either start drama or....hmm no thats it....im paranoid now that shes just going to turn up.... and what makes it worse is the wedding is out of state why would someone travel that far to try and ruin our day....

so sorry this was just a vent !!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Was he joking?

ohwhynot

Are you sure he's not just messing with you?  Why would his friend do that?  Have your fi give him a call. 

Nebb

proper punctuation is your friend and generally makes you appear less erratic than you do right now.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:3dec53fd-4f43-4f9f-826f-183a7a2e02d9">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]proper punctuation is your friend and generally makes you appear less erratic than you do right now.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

LOUD NOISES.

Was he being serious?

abbiewebster

hmm i really dont think hes joking they are best friends fis friend and fis ex wife, and ive only met the guy once so to say something like that as a joke is pretty stupid, fis calling him right now so i guess we'll findout soon

LedZeppelin

Oh my goodness. First off, why do you think she's going to ruin your day? Also, if you allowed him a plus one, you can't tell him who he is and is not allowed to bring.

526SadieSadie

are you sure he wasn't joking?  maybe this guy is just an asshole who wanted to get a reaction out of you and he obviously got it.

if this is real, tell your FI to handle it, it's his friend and his ex, that falls in the "not your problem" category.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:8c0ec118-35d0-4747-98d0-feedd0487b6e">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! : LOUD NOISES. Was he being serious?
Posted by MarriedInAFever[/QUOTE]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

abbiewebster

Ok nebb sorry about my lack of proper punctuation i was a little stressed and LedZeppelin yes i agree with you to some extent but she made his life hell and has no reason to want to come to our wedding i could maybe possibly understand if it was a huge wedding and we wouldnt really see her but its only 50 of our close friends and family.

Blueyed228

Sounds like a problem for your FI to handle, not you.

Shaye526

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:c27c17db-952e-4c0d-938a-13dc8da4a3db">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! : I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]


LMAO!!!  It's not like he killed a guy with a trident!

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:866194f7-8759-48f8-83bf-900b3167f888">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sounds like a problem for your FI to handle, not you.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Yup yup yup.

future-mrs

I posted in the other thread.  I have to agree with just letting your FI handle it.

[Deleted User]

I ate your chocolate squirrel.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:0188139d-4d65-4caa-8977-11c9f10c7501">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! : LMAO!!!  It's not like he killed a guy with a trident!
Posted by Shaye526[/QUOTE]

haha!

I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably lay low for a while.

gottahavashorti

Can't your FI just laugh if off as a joke (even if it's not) and say it's pretty funny since she'd be escorted out if she showed up at the venue?

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:482aedfa-5d10-428e-8a60-15febcf9c101">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok nebb sorry about my lack of proper punctuation i was a little stressed and LedZeppelin yes i agree with you to some extent but she made his life hell and has no reason to want to come to our wedding i could maybe possibly understand if it was a huge wedding and we wouldnt really see her but its only 50 of our close friends and family.
Posted by abbiewebster[/QUOTE]

Normally I'm not a stickler for grammar but my God woman, use a period. Please.

I know it sounds mean but your reaction makes you sound like an insecure controllling fiance. I would be pissed too, but to immediately fly off the handle and tell this friend that he is no longer allowed to come was not a mature way to handle it.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:482aedfa-5d10-428e-8a60-15febcf9c101">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok nebb sorry about my lack of proper punctuation i was a little stressed and LedZeppelin yes i agree with you to some extent but<strong> she made his life hell</strong> and has no reason to want to come to our wedding i could maybe possibly understand if it was a huge wedding and we wouldnt really see her but its only 50 of our close friends and family.
Posted by abbiewebster[/QUOTE]

"his" as in your FI's life or as in your FI's friend's life? I don't get why if she made your FI's friend's life hell, he would want to bring her.

abbiewebster

So Fi just called, he spoke to said friend and basically friend said EX really wanted to come and if it was going to cause such a problem then he wouldn't bring her. Ok so yes i was mean to fi's friend. I guess i was just struggling to understand why he would want to bringsomeone that would try and ruin our day. Thanks for letting me vent.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:482aedfa-5d10-428e-8a60-15febcf9c101">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok nebb sorry about my lack of proper punctuation i was a little stressed and LedZeppelin yes i agree with you to some extent but she made his life hell and has no reason to want to come to our wedding i could maybe possibly understand if it was a huge wedding and we wouldnt really see her but its only 50 of our close friends and family.
Posted by abbiewebster[/QUOTE]

Dude, longest sentence ever with no punctuation.

But anyway, if only 50 people are coming and it's close friends and family then I agree it's weird she wants to come. have your FI handle the situation and in the meantime work on your commas and periods.

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:11cf5d40-3bb2-4917-a23f-694ed7ed597c">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh my goodness. First off, why do you think she's going to ruin your day? <strong>Also, if you allowed him a plus one, you can't tell him who he is and is not allowed to bring.</strong>
Posted by LedZeppelin[/QUOTE]

I agree in most cases, but I think there are times when common sense (and simple decency) trump etiquette. 

If a friend of mine attempted to invite my ex as her plus one, then I'd probably put my foot down; it would make FI uncomfortable in a way I'm not going to tell him to "just deal with" on his wedding day. 

A girl posted another scenario on E the other day: a guest's boyfriend had previously assaulted her MOH (or something similar; I don't remember the details).  I know etiquette dictates that he gets an invite because you don't separate social units, blah blah blah ... but in all honesty, I'd tell her not to bring him. 

My FI (in the first situation) and MOH (in the second) come first. 

This may be an Unpopular Opinion.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:fc509b5b-0afa-4ba6-9830-81fff057d215">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I ate your chocolate squirrel.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

<3

abbiewebster

She made fis life hell. I'm not insecure really im not i dont want Fi to ever have to deal with her again especially the day thats supposed to so special to us. I think if you knew her then you would probably understand me a bit more, but yes i was super rude to Fis friend and i am apologizing as we speak.

MarriedInAFever

You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha-- covered in hair.

[Deleted User]

I agree with you, Celles. If someone did something bad to me, my H, or even one of my close friends at the wedding, I'd tell whoever was bringing that person that they couldn't do so. And I wouldn't think twice about it.

Bubbalub

You ate an entire wheel of cheese?

Next can you start capitalizing proper nouns like "I"? That would be a big help.

LedZeppelin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:632e429e-c68e-4eca-a156-5f1ca0e92e20">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!! : I agree in most cases, but I think there are times when common sense (and simple decency) trump etiquette.  If a friend of mine attempted to invite my ex as her plus one, then I'd probably put my foot down; it would make FI uncomfortable in a way I'm not going to tell him to "just deal with" on his wedding day.  A girl posted another scenario on E the other day: a guest's boyfriend had previously assaulted her MOH (or something similar; I don't remember the details).  I know etiquette dictates that he gets an invite because you don't separate social units, blah blah blah ... but in all honesty, I'd tell her not to bring him.  My FI (in the first situation) and MOH (in the second) come first.  This may be an Unpopular Opinion.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]


Celles, actually, I absolutely agree with you. My statement was too general. I meant that if he wanted to bring his ex and the only issue was that  she was his ex, then it's probably not right for the bride to say no.

If there are extenuating circumstances, though, I do think the bride/groom should be able to have a say in it.

I should have clarified/specified. I made myself one of those black & white
responses that I can't stand. haha.

ETA: I thought the ex was that of her FI's friend, not her FI, which makes a big difference. (Just so I don't sound as much like an insensitive ass).

LedZeppelin

Oh wow, abbie, I apologize. I misread your OP. I thought you meant FI's friend was bring FI's friend's ex-wife. not your FI's ex wife.

In that case, yah, I would have been pissed, too.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_cant-believe?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:09da54d7-6e0a-4aed-b116-a410c76ba4f3Post:2e154916-4027-4f10-87ac-f5dc5ee2bf5c">Re: I CANT BELIEVE IT!!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You ate an entire wheel of cheese?</strong> Next can you start capitalizing proper nouns like "I"? That would be a big help.
Posted by Bubbalub[/QUOTE]

I'm not mad, I'm just impressed.

Seriously, the mechanical errors are atrocious. But if I remember correctly, English isn't the OP's first language.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]I agree with you, Celles. If someone did something bad to me, my H, or even one of my close friends at the wedding, I'd tell whoever was bringing that person that they couldn't do so. And I wouldn't think twice about it.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]
Exactly.  If you just don't like the guest but a friend who was given a +1, I'd say suck it up.  But I think ex-SOs of the B&G and people who have assaulted or abused another guest in some way are exceptions to that rule.  Also for ex-SOs if there were children.  I never understood why an ex-wife or ex-husband of the B&G would need to attend the wedding in order to watch their kid.  It's a wedding, certainly there are relatives around who the parent getting married trusts to watch the kid.