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I want to talk about something.

So I have this problem. I literally don't understand why people are homophobic. I was thinking about this because it occurred to me that we rarely have any posters here who post homophobic thoughts/opinion/etc. So then I thought maybe there are less homophobes. But then got to thinking about how if you were a homophobe it would be dumb to post here so you would likely keep it to yourself.  Which makes me think there are still plenty of homophobes, people just hide it better because they realize that it isn't socially acceptable, just like racism. 

But that almost makes me more angry. Its like you realize that it isn't socially acceptable so you hide it, which means you 'know' it is wrong but still have a problem with it. 

But back to my original thought. I don't get why people have a problem with homosexuality. I am straight. Why does it affect me if someone else isn't (unless that someone else is my SO).  It just drives me bonkers. 

I think I only thought about all this because of AATBs post below...I supposed I could have just posted it there.
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Re: I want to talk about something.

  • It blows my mind as well.

    People out here in South Dakota are pretty darn tolerant but the ones who aren't are quite outspoken and usually intolerant of multiple groups.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:526d42cc-ccd1-4e95-a010-4391503f5af8">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]It blows my mind as well. People out here in South Dakota are pretty darn tolerant but the ones who aren't are quite outspoken and usually intolerant of multiple groups.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    <div>ditto and ditto.</div><div>
    </div><div>I agree Numbers.  I just honestly do not understand.</div>
  • I don't have a problem if someone's religious or personal beliefs don't support homosexuality.  While I personally think that's illogical, I can't argue that religions have the right to determine what is and is not appropriate, just as the followers have the right to choose to agree with those sentiments.

    I do have a problem with people's personal beliefs infringing upon the rights of others.  That's why I'm especially pro-gay marriage.  I don't think that anyone's moral or religious beliefs should infringe upon the rights of others. 
  • Well you can not agree with gay marriage and not be a homophobe.

    You can not agree with the lifestyle and not be a homophobe.

    I think the beauty of living different types of lifestyles is that we dont have to agree with the lifestyle someone else lives, but we will respect it.


    Most people who have a problem with homosexuality do not really know anything about it.  Or at least thats what I have noticed.

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  • 1. Knowing something is not socially acceptable is not the same as knowing it is wrong.  In the 50's interracial marriage was not socially acceptable, but it was not wrong. 

    2. People tend to fear what they do not understand.  People also tend to fear things in themselves they do not want to face.  Lastly people fear their society becoming morally wrong (we all fear this, or our society continuing to be morally wrong) and so if they believe homosexuality is morally wrong they would dislike it.  I think homophobia is the wrong word, as its not about the fear so much as the dislike/hate. 

    Just my thoughts on why people have those reactions.  I also think people react more strongly when they are basing things on religion or are told they are being evil. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:c56acbee-7ab3-4df2-9b54-be614b49da2b">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well you can not agree with gay marriage and not be a homophobe. You can not agree with the lifestyle and not be a homophobe. 
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with both these statements wholeheartedly.</div>
  • I think part of it is ignorance; they just haven't had enough experience with the community, so the fact that it's so foreign frightens them.

    Both FI and I are very open with the gay community. His cousin is gay, and I've been around homosexuals my entire life having been involved with dance and theater since I could walk.

    When it comes to people, I don't see gay/straight (or races/color of skin), I just see people. I thank my parents everyday for raising me to be that enlightened.
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  • Number 55- I feel the same way.

    The only thing I find worse is someone who is gay, pretending to be straight (married heterosexually, or in a relationship)  becuase he/she does not think others will accept them. That is fraudulant and I know it must be a scary thing to admit to depending on who/how your friends/family/community are, but it hurts others tremendously. Being single is always an option- sometimes people forget that.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:510278c5-8a76-460f-a118-c9dbc2d27574">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Knowing something is not socially acceptable is not the same as knowing it is wrong.  In the 50's interracial marriage was not socially acceptable, but it was not wrong.  2. <strong>People tend to fear what they do not understand.</strong>  People also tend to fear things in themselves they do not want to face.  Lastly people fear their society becoming morally wrong (we all fear this, or our society continuing to be morally wrong) and so if they believe homosexuality is morally wrong they would dislike it.  I think homophobia is the wrong word, as its not about the fear so much as the dislike/hate.  Just my thoughts on why people have those reactions.  I also think people react more strongly when they are basing things on religion or are told they are being evil. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    You beat me to it. People just have to categorize and put things into neat little explanations that make sense to them. This is just human nature. Some people find it ieasier to cope when they come across things that are different or hard to understand and some don't.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:510278c5-8a76-460f-a118-c9dbc2d27574">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Knowing something is not socially acceptable is not the same as knowing it is wrong.  In the 50's interracial marriage was not socially acceptable, but it was not wrong. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]
    I think Numbers meant that the homophobic person doesn't avow their beliefs publicly, because they know it's wrong.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:510278c5-8a76-460f-a118-c9dbc2d27574">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Knowing something is not socially acceptable is not the same as knowing it is wrong.  In the 50's interracial marriage was not socially acceptable, but it was not wrong.  
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    <div>I realize that but if you are not voicing your opinion because you know that your opinions are not socially acceptable then you must know that something is up, that somehow, what you think and what the rest of society thinks do not mesh. At that point would you not question your own values?</div><div>
    </div><div>also...in general, what is wrong with LOVING another human being, regardless of gender. As far as I am concerned, love is love is love.</div>
  • I was having a conversation with FI about this last night. After reading the CW thread I had to ask his opinion on IVF and all the things the poster there said. 


    I like you(number) don't understand it either. If someone is homosexual that doesn't bother me one bit nor does it affect my life so I often wonder why others have such a big problem with it.
  • I will never understand homophobia. As in, I don't understand the mindset. How does a homosexual's life affect a homophobe's so much that the homophobe would hate the homosexual for just being? I don't get it. But then, I can't understand why some people get so hung up on race either. I really try not to classify people as white, black, whatever. It's just pigment!

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:510278c5-8a76-460f-a118-c9dbc2d27574">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Knowing something is not socially acceptable is not the same as knowing it is wrong.  In the 50's interracial marriage was not socially acceptable, but it was not wrong.  2. People tend to fear what they do not understand.  People also tend to fear things in themselves they do not want to face.  <strong><u>Lastly people fear their society becoming morally wrong (we all fear this, or our society continuing to be morally wrong) and so if they believe homosexuality is morally wrong they would dislike it.</u></strong> <u><strong> I think homophobia is the wrong word, as its not about the fear so much as the dislike/hate</strong></u>.  Just my thoughts on why people have those reactions.  I also think people react more strongly when they are basing things on religion or are told they are being evil. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]

    I have to disagree.  People can think its morally wrong and have no hate in their hearts for people. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:ec342124-a7fc-4631-b70d-1d469cdb1b48">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE] When it comes to people, I don't see gay/straight (or races/color of skin), I just see people. I thank my parents everyday for raising me to be that enlightened.
    Posted by mehgank[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Exactly!

    </div>
  • I don't get it either. It has no bearing on my life, so if someone is gay or wants to marry someone of the same sex, why should I care?

    As for not speaking up, I agree along the lines of what Blue said. For example, I don't believe in God. But I don't go around advertising that to everyone I meet because I know I will be attacked by people who think I'm wrong. It's happened many times before, so I simply don't say anything at all. I could see where someone who doesn't agree with gay marriage or thinks being gay is wrong would stay quiet, they want to avoid the fight.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:dc5f9710-2b80-414b-bedb-c162f3e7d737">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I blame religion. 
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]


    i don't blame religion.  I blame people that are too weak-minded to think about these issues and come to a conclusion that doesn't include any kind of hate.
  • My thoughts would be it's a lack of understanding.  Whether it comes from lack of exposure, or religious beliefs, or whatever other factor.  If you've never met or been around a gay person, or gay people it might be hard not to liken them to what you see on tv, or wild stories that you see.  The only thing they have to relate being gay to, is what they've seen on tv, movies, or in books.  I think it's commonplace for many shows, movies etc to have an overly flamboyant gay person included because, really was Jack (from Will and Grace) not the funniest character ever?  If you haven't met a gay person that is just like you in every way other than sexual preference, it might not register that it's ok. 

    Similar to the people that are afraid of Muslims after 9/11, a lot of them find what happened that day just as despicable as everyone else, but they don't get the chance to explain that because people write them off as terrorists.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:818cd8d5-2185-4c54-a9c6-224ac82abded">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : I don't know about you, but I do have beliefs that are not the same as most of our society.  For example I am Jewish, should I stop having those beliefs because I'm in the minority?  I know that many people do not hold my beliefs, but that doesn't make them wrong.  I also value some things others don't.  I think those others are wrong, I've thought about it but  fact that I don't follow the majority doesn't make me wrong, it might mean they are wrong. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]
    I'm not trying to be mean, but are you reading the posts?  A bunch of people are saying that you have the right to disagree morally.  Don't act out on that.  Therefore, do not mix your religious beliefs with legalities, don't act hatefully towards people, and don't take violent actions.  Basically, don't be an asshat because you're morally opposed to something (please note I'm using the collective "you").
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:d530ce18-b8d2-4021-9c38-d24e7b9aab0c">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : i don't blame religion.  I blame people that are too weak-minded to think about these issues and come to a conclusion that doesn't include any kind of hate.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    Personally, I consider that to be the fault of organized religions which encourage blind faith and mindless obedience. It's kind of hard to think logically about things when you've been told your whole life that this way is the only right way and everything else will doom your soul for eternity.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:7c371420-aa27-40e2-9dd2-06a51e872760">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : I really like the way you worded this. 
    Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you. It literally took me 5 minutes to get it to sound right. </div>
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  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited October 2010
    Well I was reading the posts, and responding to a particular part, namely the idea that I had quoted above that post.  There was a statement that if you disagree with society you should think about how you are wrong.  That's just not true, sometimes society is wrong. 

    I do agree that religion and legalities do not mix.  My example of religion was that because I do not agree with society doesn't make me wrong.  Being Jewish is not what society does, it doesn't make it wrong. 

    I havn't actually stated my beliefs on homosexuality here, if you want them you can ask.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:581d314b-52a6-47e0-9f84-26e8608ad518">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : Personally, I consider that to be the fault of organized religions which encourage blind faith and mindless obedience. It's kind of hard to think logically about things when you've been told your whole life that this way is the only right way and everything else will doom your soul for eternity.
    Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]

    It's hard but not impossible.
  • (these points are not directed at anyone, just at the world)

    1) Homosexuality cannot be morally wrong. This statement implies a choice is being made in which an individual has evaulated their beliefs and choosen to either go with or against their morals. Homosexuality has been proven not to be a choice. No one would ever in their right mind willingly become a social minority.

    2) I would like one argument against gay marriage, a civil right, that does not evoke religion or personal beliefs as the 1st Amdendment procludes this from our law making. Nothing upsets me more than people thinking some how me spending the rest of my life with my soulmate will unravel the moral fabric of society. That some how us being given 1,134 federal rights granted to married couples will do harm to a straight married couple. Just one good argument why I am lesser than everyone else in these peoples eyes.


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:d530ce18-b8d2-4021-9c38-d24e7b9aab0c">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : i don't blame religion.  I blame people that are too weak-minded to think about these issues and come to a conclusion that doesn't include any kind of hate.
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    Me too
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:c6771a60-a036-443a-9c57-919013a063bf">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well I was reading the posts, and responding to a particular part, namely the idea that I had quoted above that post.  There was a statement that if you disagree with society you should think about how you are wrong.  That's just not true, sometimes society is wrong. 
    Posted by KatyRoseM[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Remember that different =/= wrong. None of us will know if we were right or wrong about God's existence presumably until we are dead. We can only hope that we are believing the right things and try not to piss of others, in case we are  wrong and our everlasting fate is in THEIR hands. 

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:581d314b-52a6-47e0-9f84-26e8608ad518">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I want to talk about something. : Personally, I consider that to be the fault of organized religions which encourage blind faith and mindless obedience. <strong>It's kind of hard to think logically about things when you've been told your whole life that this way is the only right way and everything else will doom your soul for eternity.
    </strong>Posted by Anysunrise[/QUOTE]
    i don't agree with this.  I'm Catholic, but I'm against some of the beliefs that the Church espouses, even knowing that things are considered "sins."  I think it's possible to draw your own conclusions about things, despite what is mandated. 

    I agree with Anna that many people are too weak-minded to do this. 
  • Of course we don't know if we are right about God, however because we don't agree with society doesn't mean we are wrong. 
    image
  • See I have a problem blaming religion outright but I think that is because I am Christian and I have no problem with homosexuality at all. I do not believe homosexuality is a sin and I do not believe that Jesus would have any problem whatsoever with homosexuals. I do believe that I am in the minority within my faith on this point though, so I understand why others blame religion. But I also know a lot of people (tend to be of a different generation) who are homophones for no religious reason at all.

    I like the comparison to 911 and muslims. I think with that one again I approached it differently because I grew up in the middle east and I feel like I have a very different perspective on muslim's and their faith than others who might never have even met a muslim in their life.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_want-talk-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:0b01a940-fd09-45da-9942-44f4cbefd879Post:2fc413e2-aa12-4a5e-8616-eee83b279ad8">Re: I want to talk about something.</a>:
    [QUOTE](these points are not directed at anyone, just at the world) 1) Homosexuality cannot be morally wrong. This statement implies a choice is being made in which an individual has evaulated their beliefs and choosen to either go with or against their morals. Homosexuality has been proven not to be a choice. No one would ever in their right mind willingly become a social minority. 2) I would like one argument against gay marriage, a civil right, that does not evoke religion or personal beliefs as the 1st Amdendment procludes this from our law making. Nothing upsets me more than people thinking some how me spending the rest of my life with my soulmate will unravel the moral fabric of society. That some how us being given 1,134 federal rights granted to married couples will do harm to a straight married couple. Just one good argument why I am lesser than everyone else in these peoples eyes.
    Posted by kcullen37[/QUOTE]

    If I weren't married and you didn't have an FI, I'd be on your doorstep, flowers (chocolate, diamonds, cars?) in hand.

    This was very eloquently worded, and I agree with this wholeheartedly.
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