How to be a nice b*tch?

SarahBethBR

I get being hurt.  I'm still hurt that my SIL didn't come to our rehearsal dinner.  If you want to talk to her about it, then do.  Ask her what happened and tell her you were hurt.  But don't be passive aggressive or assume she's jealous.  And if you decide it's not worth working out, don't try to tell your husband who to be friends with.Cali, that sucks about your sister.  I can't imagine. 

jens_a_ten

I would have been devastated if either of my sisters hadn't come to my wedding. Especially in a case like Cali's, where there's no real explanation or consideration.

HappyTummy613

I am riding on the shell of bloomie's giant tortoise.  I think it's reasonable to feel hurt.  But if that's the case, I would contact her and see why she didn't come, not waste time speculating about her jealousy or crafting the perfect friendship-ending dialogue.I also think Cali's sister's behavior is redonk.

CaliopeSpidrman

I'm sorry guys, but I can only accept your sympathy in cookie form.

ChristinS

or crafting the perfect friendship-ending dialogue. See, this is my idea of a perfect Friday night. I've been working on one for Fenton for over a week now.

_Fenton

[img]http://i619.photobucket.com/albums/tt279/MonkBiz85/1christ-middle-finger.jpg[/img]That is for Christin.For the OP, I would be pissed, too.  Moreso about the money, but I'm cheap.  Anyway, it COULD be that she has a good reason and just hasn't felt comfortable talking about it yet.  What if she and her H decided to file for divorce?  She won't be posting that on FB (I would hope, not so soon anyway).  I would say, "Hey, we missed you at the wedding.  I was worried something bad had happened.  I'm glad you're OK!"  This way you imply that if something bad didn't happen, she was rude, but you've nicely veiled it in faux concern for her.  This is the Southern way of insulting people, and it works nicely.

_Fenton

Hey, Nicely Nicely here, you wanna wager on how many streudels and cheesecakes they sell at Mindy's diner, eh?

kmmssg

I would skip the passive aggressive crap and be up front.  When DH and I married 13 yrs ago it coincided with a major flu bug and we had several people who were really close to us not show up after RSVPing.  Every one of them had the flu - or one person in the couple had it.  Wouldn't want the other one there passing flu germs around.  These were people very close to us and I knew someone on the invitation was actually sick.  We weren't angry with any of them.After paying for 3 of the girls' weddings, no shows tick me off and have become my pet peeve.  There are times when it is truly legit - posting on FB about looking forward to going to the bar is a public announcement that they blew off the wedding.  There is no issue with someone being sick, or having an emergency.  She posted their intent not to attend!  Skp the passive aggressive.I'd call her up and ask what happened.  Then I would be thanking them for the opportunity to pay for their meals while they decided to make different plans.  Sorry, but I see this as entirely intentional.Some people don't get how much it costs when they change their minds. Those people need to be educated.  Posting intent on FB means I will be calling them on their actions.  Then we would see where the friendship went.