How do you divide household chores/Am I just being a bitchh?

Duckie731

I technically don't live with my fiance, however, the only thing I do at my mom's house is sleep at night, other than that I am always at my fiance's house. We have an almost 4 year old yellow lab (who I love dearly) that sheds constantly.  I do the majority of the cleaning and cooking almost all the time (he does work 5 days a week, in the summer 6 days a week), because if I would wait until my fiance "got to it", this place would be vacuumed like once a month, there would be no clean dishes, our dog Vala would never get brushed, his laundry would overflow, and we would eat fast food every day.

I don't mind doing most of the work most of the time because right now I work less than him.  I like helping him out and having a clean living area, BUT it annoys me when I every so often ask him to vacuum for me and he says he'll do it when he "gets to it", which is usually never so I end up doing it.  Having a lab that sheds constantly means that if you don't vacuum at least every other day, there is a ton of dog hair everywhere.  I am probably somewhat guilty of asking him what your fiance asked you, because the only way I can get my fiance to do any housework is to ask, because he won't do the dishes until there are literally no dishes left or the kitchen smells.  If you most of the cleaning though, like it sounds like, I'd be pretty annoyed if my fiance asked me that, so no, you're not being a bitch. I'd try to wait until he got home, but I think you should talk to him about how you feel the cleaning and try to come up with something that works for you both.

MiLadyK

Niether one of us is very neat, to be honest. And we know this. We have a cleaning woman who comes in every other week to keep things from totally going of the rails. 

Before I was sick, I did the cats' food and litter, bathroom, laundry and dishwasher dishes, while he did the cooking, hand washing, and garbage. While I ws sick he pretty much did everything, because I was bedridden for a year. Now that I'm feeling better I'm picking up our old groove. We split it up by who hates what more, or by who is better at what. He hates grocery shopping, so I do that. I think the garbage can is where Satan lives, so he handles it. I have the spacial and color sense, so I'm in charge of keeping the guest room ready for guests and the strage areas tidy. He has the upper body strength so he shovels the driveway. 

Niether of us like chores, but they need to be done, so we do them. Whenever possible, we do them together, because its more fun that way. 

Rummi302

We would generally trade off doing the bulk of the heavy cleaning depending on who was having a busier week. Since the holidays I've been doing far more than 1/2 the cleaning, so it's time for a chat. He did stand behind me while I was vacuuming this weekend, presumably on hand to move a chair or something at a moments notice. I'm not sure, but I think he thought he was being helpful. We have to work on that one...

+HeatherW

We never decided who did what. We just...do them when it needs done.

Granted laundry is me. I hate how he folds and after 3 shruken sweaters and 2 pairs of shrunken jeans...I just do it. The rest, we just do when we see it needs done.

Outside, I'll admit is H. He does the mowing and weedwacking.

If he ever had the balls to ask me what housework I planned on doing, he'd get the stink eye. Followed by me NOT doing housework for the day. Fortunately for him (and our house) he's never asked me so I usually putz around and get things done.

aschmitt12

I clean everything and do the chores.  He asks me sometimes if I need help with anything, but I would rather let him relax after work.  I like to take care of my fiance/husband, and I take pride in the fact that he comes home to a clean house and dinner on the table.  I also help with all outside work.  It works very smoothly, and I don't feel treated unfairly.  I think it's more about what works for your situation...

annie912

We have a pretty stereotypical split, with a few exceptions. I do most of the inside stuff - vacuuming, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, etc. and he does most of the outside stuff - lawn, snow removal, etc. But, I hate doing dishes. I'm a better cook, so I cook and he cleans up after me. We each do our own laundry and he does his kids' laundry (two boys, 8 and 5, live with us half the time). I take care of most of the animal stuff (a dog and a cat) since they were the "kids" I brought to the relationship.

housewifehobbiest

This would piss me off too.  FI asked me to iron his shirts before I left for work today and I damn near bit his head off.

FI is neat but dirty, and I am messy but clean, so it causes issues.  I'm more focused on scrubbing the bath tub and mopping the floors, but I don't care too much if there are odds and ends stacked on the desk.  FI flips if I leave shoes in the living room, but doesn't see the need to dust.