When have you waited too long in a relationship?

snoangel79

I was in a relationship for 10 years (age 18-28) lived with him for 3, he always had that excuse too. It sucks to be "that girl" watching everyone get married way before you that have had shorter relationships, but again I got stuck and also lost confidence in myself to find another (never was truly happy). After I found him cheating in the 10th year of our relationship, I walked. Best decision ever! Getting married to a guy I've been with for alittle under 2 years. She's fooling herself if she thinks one day he is going to have a moment of "wedding bells" clarity! My ex does now as I'm marrying another guy! hahahaha Ohs well!

Scorpio11

DH and I were together for almost 10 years before we got engaged.  We knew early on that we were the right ones for each other and we'd get married eventually.  (But yes, I was ready about a year before he was, and a lot of the same fears went through my head -- am I too old, have I wasted too much time, why has everyone else gotten married before me, is this ever going to happen?)  But once DH was ready, he was really ready, and that made the whole proposal, engagement, and wedding (and so far, marriage) that much more fun and meaningful. 

However, all that said, if he had ever said he didn't know if I was the one yet, after a whole bunch of time, I like to think that I would have walked. 

prncsz

I would have to agree she is wasting her time. I told FI when we began dating that I don't date just for the heck of it and we won't waste years together. If we decide we are what each other want then by the 5 year mark we need to be married. He proposed after we had dated 3 years and when we get married August 6th, 2011 we will be just shy of the 5 years together. Now what would really suck is if she got up the courage to leave him and he turns right around and marrys someone else in a shorter time frame like within a year.

I truly believe in setting clear expectations when entering a relationship. If my goal is a serious relationship leading to marriage I'm not about to waste my time with the guy who just wants me around until he can find something better. Set a standard and don't lower it. I hope she gets out of this and takes some time to get to know herself and exactly what she wants out of a relationship and let the man that will provide that for her find her.

Hellokatie0517

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waited-long-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:185f5491-4d2a-42b6-b650-5ef55eb6c0d6Post:b90dfaf5-ab94-4f82-80aa-52f13359665c">Re: When have you waited too long in a relationship?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think so. And she doesn't want to be 35 and single.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

What's worse? 35 and single or 40 and in a relationship with a guy who won't commit (cuz that's where she's headed).  I can understand that it's tough to move on after 15 years...I did it after 7 years.  She needs to find it in herself that she is worth more and is deserving of someone who will commit. 

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waited-long-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:185f5491-4d2a-42b6-b650-5ef55eb6c0d6Post:c5d91b4b-f524-4d17-9a02-73780a97bfef">Re: When have you waited too long in a relationship?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was in a relationship for 10 years (age 18-28) lived with him for 3, he always had that excuse too. It sucks to be "that girl" watching everyone get married way before you that have had shorter relationships, but again I got stuck and also lost confidence in myself to find another (never was truly happy). After I found him cheating in the 10th year of our relationship, I walked. Best decision ever! <strong>Getting married to a guy I've been with for alittle under 2 years. She's fooling herself if she thinks one day he is going to have a moment of "wedding bells" clarity! My ex does now as I'm marrying another guy! hahahaha Ohs well!
</strong>Posted by snoangel79[/QUOTE]

I love this! Thanks for telling it!

HobokensFury

After wasting my time (6 years to be exact) with my ex I told myself I would not wait more than 2 or 3 years the next time around.  I got lucky and met my Fi right after and we were engaged after 1.5 years and will be married at 3.5 years.

It's time for your friend to cut her loses and leave. IMO

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waited-long-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:185f5491-4d2a-42b6-b650-5ef55eb6c0d6Post:298cf76c-9920-4d6f-9c81-101126a8af8d">Re: When have you waited too long in a relationship?</a>:
[QUOTE]I heard about this guy, with a website to find a wife...:P
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

Is this the one?  <a href="http://kidblount.ytmnd.com/" rel="nofollow">http://kidblount.ytmnd.com/</a>

Make sure you have your headphones for this one hahaha

Lisa8888

Not everyone wants to get married. This guy may be perfectly happy with the relationship as is and may have no interest in getting married. Getting married has legal consequences and he may not be interested in that.

I doubt that he will change. She has to decide what it is that she really wants. Would she be willing to walk out of a 15 year relationship solely because he doesn't want to get married?

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_waited-long-relationship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:185f5491-4d2a-42b6-b650-5ef55eb6c0d6Post:85dd620e-5b85-4f83-bebb-8a10be915bd5">Re: When have you waited too long in a relationship?</a>:
[QUOTE]My dad and his girlfriend just had their fifteenth anniversary this past March. She has been bugging him about a ring for years and years. I don't think he ever told her she wasn't the one but he sure has fed her excuse after excuse, none of which I buy. He's told me that he doesn't want to start over. When I got engaged last year, I felt so bad for her because I was only 7 when they started dating - can you imagine your boyfriend's seven year old eventually getting married before you do! My dad hasn't proposed but I think my engagement combined with<u><strong> the fact that I'm going to be married before him</strong></u> made him realize that he does want to be married. He didn't propose but they set a date for April. It's one thing just to not want to be married. Personally, I couldn't be with someone who felt that way, but not everyone wants or believes in that piece of paper. But this guy doesn't even love her. I hope your friend wakes up and realizes she can do better!
Posted by ledalia[/QUOTE]

Dont you mean that you ARE married before him?  Or is he one of the many guests you are not telling?