In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_domestic-discipline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22679d35-db22-4430-9b90-d496a16ab78fPost:4788e11e-dd21-41ff-8ff9-eab3e492fbff">Re: Domestic Discipline?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : As I said earlier, this is not BDSM. In BDSM, there is sexual and/or emotional gratification in being totally submissive or dominant of another person. There is pleasure and exhilaration in receiving or inflicting the pain. That's part of the definition of sado-masochism, is that some kind of reward is derived from the direct infliction of pain. The only suggestion of any positive reward that the DD wife is getting is from having her husband's "forgiveness" after he punishes her. But she gets no pleasure from the actual punishment and humiliation. In fact, she is terrified and scared for her safety. Maybe he gets off on it, but he claims it's not a part of his process. But if she's not enjoying the spanking or the anticipation of spanking, she's not participating in BDSM. Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
<div>Another distinct element of BDSM is that there is nearly always the use of safe words-something a sub or bottom can use to stop the scene. Which brings me to another point, except in the most extreme 24/7, total power exchange Master/Slave relationships, there are "scenes", an agreed upon playtime that has nothing to do with most aspects of the couple's life, like I dunno deciding to buy a car or what movie to see.</div><div> </div><div>There are no "scenes" in DD except the ones the husband calls and they are dead-serious punishments for "breaking the rules". Also, the wife has NO control over when this occurs. Pretty much a fancified version of your husband getting mad and beating the hell out of you.</div><div> </div><div>Now, I am not saying BDSM never goes to some pretty dark, abusive places. It can and it does. Not everyone who practices it is well intentioned or emotionally healthy.</div><div> </div><div>I can tell you though that if any submissive I knew started telling me she (or he) was genuinely afraid of their dominant, I would be asking a lot of questions and so would most everyone I know. </div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_domestic-discipline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22679d35-db22-4430-9b90-d496a16ab78fPost:a697b49c-6476-4b25-9c7f-5b7937ab1ebd">Re: Domestic Discipline?</a>: [QUOTE]I just cannot comprehend this. It is so scary to me. Even more scary is the thought that children/pets would be in this situation. If he beats a "willing" wife with a hairbrush, what would keep him from torturing a dog/child who doesn't understand his fvcked up logic? ugh. nausea. Posted by meganyani[/QUOTE] Shoot, I didn't even think of their cute dog!
Ugh...this was probably one of the most disturbing things I have ever read. I can't believe how many people agreed with the whole thing. What a sick way to live. I hope she gets the help she needs.
Psychologists believe habits are part of our DNA. They call this a meme (pronounced like team). Spanking is a habit that the majority of parents have inherited. It is not so much a belief than a gene code that needs to be realized. The spanking meme may lay dormant in one generation and resurface in the next. I know many parents who were not spanked as children but decided to spank their own kids. This is why parents who spank feel a sense of satisfaction. Spanking is part of their genetic make-up. It is not so much they find joy in spanking their children as it completes their relationship with their child as it did in past generations with their ancestors. Memes can be both good habits and bad habits. Parents have to decide for themselves if they want to repress their desire to spank or carry on the tradition. Whatever they decide the meme will still be passed on to their own children and it may take several generations after that before spanking is no longer part of the parents DNA!
Wow, really? We have a spanking gene in our DNA? ZOMG! I want to know how we have proof that our ancestors spanked their children. Last I checked we are unable to see that in the archaeological record.
I must have been too busy watching "Sex and the Church" lol. It was actually a really interesting special
My mom spanked me once, when I was 4. I apparently was completely silent during, then turned to her and with no emotion said "You always said hitting was a bad thing to do. But I still love you, even though you hit me" and walked to my room. She started crying and they started using the "I'm disappointed in you" method of punishment.
Ang, that link was disturbing. I read some of the posts and was appalled. This one guy was asking about what implement to use to discipline his 15 and 17 year old step daughters. He didn't do it bare bottom because of their age (thank goodness) but I think it is ridiculous that he thinks he can spank a 17 year old and have any sort of positive reaction from her.
My parents spanked us. It didn't damage me and I wasn't afraid of my parents. i was afraid of a spanking, though. I only remember being spanked a couple of times. Of course it was never done without clothing, and never with anything but a hand or a fly swatter (my grandmother's choice implement). I can't imagine them sitting around talking to their friends about what implements would leave marks and which ones wouldn't. That's just outrageous.
This whole situation is sick. Aparently Parker is a doctor while Brinless is in law school. For some reason I don't think most of this is real. If it is real I hope she wakes up soon and gets the hell away from him.
Where are her parents!! If my parents heard that FI hit me at all (let alone with w switch or belt) they'd kill him. Along with all of my family members. It wouldn't be a pretty scene. Even going beyond that....FI and I have an adult-adult relationship where both our needs, thoughts, etc. are respected and taken into account.
As to spanking children.....well I've said this before I don't think in today's modern world there is a need for hitting your kids in any circumstances. There are plenty of other "punishments" that are more effective and less detrimental. I'll admit that parents who spank lose some of my respect. I wasn't spanked and neither were my siblings. We all turned out pretty nicely. Also, if we are going to teach children that hitting others, especially loved ones isn't okay.....why would we then spank our kids?
OMG, I read all of the blogs and this is craziness. Sounds like abuse to me and she sounds like she is deathly afraid of loosing her H so she goes along with this DD crap because she is afraid of being alone and cannot fend for herself...
Also dose it bother anyone that their premarital counselors practiced this lifestyle as well? (sorry if this has already been mentioned I only read the first page of posts).
Oh, I am actually pretty sure it is real. Parker being a Doctor has nothing to do with it, nor does his wife being in law school. Upscale professional people are abusers-and victims just as often as people of lesser means and educations. They just hide it better and come to the attention of various authorities less often.
We never actually know for sure it seems if anything on the Internet IS real, but these posts have a ring of truth in them to me.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_domestic-discipline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22679d35-db22-4430-9b90-d496a16ab78fPost:98d99ace-a76e-4731-a53d-d003fa7a578f">Re: Domestic Discipline?</a>: [QUOTE]Oh, <font color="#993366">I am actually pretty sure it is real. Parker being a Doctor has nothing to do with it, nor does his wife being in law school. Upscale professional people are abusers-and victims just as often as people of lesser means and educations.</font> They just hide it better and come to the attention of various authorities less often. We never actually know for sure it seems if anything on the Internet IS real, but these posts have a ring of truth in them to me. Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
Oh no I didn't mean it like that. Did you go read their friend's blog....Kensie and someone else?? Its just too coincidental for me (plus they write the same way).....picture perfect couple, picture perfect careers and a situation of picture perfect DD. I don't know.....I just got this whole feeling like it was all constructed. Also the fact that Parker and Brinless sell and ship DD introduction videos made me feel like this was somewhat of a scam or set up to make money on the lifestyle with a cover.
Actually I think the girls on the nest figured out that it may not be real. They sell videos of DD, so I think it's a marketing ploy for spanking fetish people.
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_domestic-discipline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:22679d35-db22-4430-9b90-d496a16ab78fPost:63d83d27-1ce8-4b9d-ae9d-108299c24ac2">Re: Domestic Discipline?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : Oh no I didn't mean it like that. Did you go read their friend's blog....Kensie and someone else?? Its just too coincidental for me (plus they write the same way).....picture perfect couple, picture perfect careers and a situation of picture perfect DD. I don't know.....I just got this whole feeling like it was all constructed. Also the fact that Parker and Brinless sell and ship DD introduction videos made me feel like this was somewhat of a scam or set up to make money on the lifestyle with a cover. Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]
<div>Ohhhh I missed the DD instructional videos part. Well, I HOPE it is just made up to promote sales, rather than this idiot (Parker) forcing her to parade this stuff online that is actually occurring, in order to sell videos. I also did not see some of the same-same blogs. I quess I was concentrating too much on those really disturbing "Sugar" blogs.</div>
Just to clarify- I don't actually think this is BDSM; It was sort of a tongue-in-cheek remark. Like... if it actually WERE BDSM, then she'd like it and not be terrified of him. Since she doens't like it, it must be abuse. There are no other options. Sorry for any confusion!
ok so along with SEVERAL other issues this is the one I'm going to bring up:
they said that they do this to teach her, so she learns to not do it agian. That being said, it is obviously not working. She writes several times that she keeps getting punished for the same thing. Her mini tantrums and bad attitude!
maybe they should switch roles and and her get to punish him for being a controlling a$$hole
I don't doubt that this lifestyle is very real for some people, but I'm really starting to think that this particular one is fake. Just think of all of the free advertising they've been getting with their shittastic blog splashed across TK, TN and TB (and god knows where else).
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_domestic-discipline?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:22679d35-db22-4430-9b90-d496a16ab78fPost:88fd4698-a8e8-4f65-9d97-facd1666483e">Re: Domestic Discipline?</a>: [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : Ohhhh I missed the DD instructional videos part. Well, I HOPE it is just made up to promote sales, rather than this idiot (Parker) forcing her to parade this stuff online that is actually occurring, in order to sell videos. I also did not see some of the same-same blogs. I quess I was concentrating too much on those really disturbing "Sugar" blogs. Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
I didn't read the Sugar blogs. I was disturbed enough by Kensie and Brinlee. I do think anyone regardless of job, money, etc. can be a victim or an abuser. But this just seems like an odd promotional thing.
I think what I find the most stupid about the husbands on these blogs is their insistence that they don't want to have to punish their wives, that it hurts emotionaly. I feel like that line is a huge bunch of cow manure, so they can feel a bit more PC about beating their wives. If you really don't want to have to hurt your wife, THEN DON'T! Just call it and yourself what you are, domestic abuser, and quit trying to sugar coat it.
Re: Domestic Discipline?
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : As I said earlier, this is not BDSM. In BDSM, there is sexual and/or emotional gratification in being totally submissive or dominant of another person. There is pleasure and exhilaration in receiving or inflicting the pain. That's part of the definition of sado-masochism, is that some kind of reward is derived from the direct infliction of pain. The only suggestion of any positive reward that the DD wife is getting is from having her husband's "forgiveness" after he punishes her. But she gets no pleasure from the actual punishment and humiliation. In fact, she is terrified and scared for her safety. Maybe he gets off on it, but he claims it's not a part of his process. But if she's not enjoying the spanking or the anticipation of spanking, she's not participating in BDSM.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]
<div>Another distinct element of BDSM is that there is nearly always the use of safe words-something a sub or bottom can use to stop the scene. Which brings me to another point, except in the most extreme 24/7, total power exchange Master/Slave relationships, there are "scenes", an agreed upon playtime that has nothing to do with most aspects of the couple's life, like I dunno deciding to buy a car or what movie to see.</div><div>
</div><div>There are no "scenes" in DD except the ones the husband calls and they are dead-serious punishments for "breaking the rules". Also, the wife has NO control over when this occurs. Pretty much a fancified version of your husband getting mad and beating the hell out of you.</div><div>
</div><div>Now, I am not saying BDSM never goes to some pretty dark, abusive places. It can and it does. Not everyone who practices it is well intentioned or emotionally healthy.</div><div>
</div><div>I can tell you though that if any submissive I knew started telling me she (or he) was genuinely afraid of their dominant, I would be asking a lot of questions and so would most everyone I know. </div>
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[QUOTE]I just cannot comprehend this. It is so scary to me. Even more scary is the thought that children/pets would be in this situation. If he beats a "willing" wife with a hairbrush, what would keep him from torturing a dog/child who doesn't understand his fvcked up logic? ugh. nausea.
Posted by meganyani[/QUOTE]
Shoot, I didn't even think of their cute dog!
Sorry Cew, I want people to be in as much shock as me! :0
Hitting is always the best answer for everything....
Wow, really? We have a spanking gene in our DNA? ZOMG! I want to know how we have proof that our ancestors spanked their children. Last I checked we are unable to see that in the archaeological record.
House / Baby blog
My mom spanked me once, when I was 4. I apparently was completely silent during, then turned to her and with no emotion said "You always said hitting was a bad thing to do. But I still love you, even though you hit me" and walked to my room. She started crying and they started using the "I'm disappointed in you" method of punishment.
House / Baby blog
Where are her parents!! If my parents heard that FI hit me at all (let alone with w switch or belt) they'd kill him. Along with all of my family members. It wouldn't be a pretty scene. Even going beyond that....FI and I have an adult-adult relationship where both our needs, thoughts, etc. are respected and taken into account.
As to spanking children.....well I've said this before I don't think in today's modern world there is a need for hitting your kids in any circumstances. There are plenty of other "punishments" that are more effective and less detrimental. I'll admit that parents who spank lose some of my respect. I wasn't spanked and neither were my siblings. We all turned out pretty nicely. Also, if we are going to teach children that hitting others, especially loved ones isn't okay.....why would we then spank our kids?
Also dose it bother anyone that their premarital counselors practiced this lifestyle as well? (sorry if this has already been mentioned I only read the first page of posts).
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[QUOTE]Oh, <font color="#993366">I am actually pretty sure it is real. Parker being a Doctor has nothing to do with it, nor does his wife being in law school. Upscale professional people are abusers-and victims just as often as people of lesser means and educations.</font> They just hide it better and come to the attention of various authorities less often. We never actually know for sure it seems if anything on the Internet IS real, but these posts have a ring of truth in them to me.
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
Oh no I didn't mean it like that. Did you go read their friend's blog....Kensie and someone else?? Its just too coincidental for me (plus they write the same way).....picture perfect couple, picture perfect careers and a situation of picture perfect DD. I don't know.....I just got this whole feeling like it was all constructed. Also the fact that Parker and Brinless sell and ship DD introduction videos made me feel like this was somewhat of a scam or set up to make money on the lifestyle with a cover.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : Oh no I didn't mean it like that. Did you go read their friend's blog....Kensie and someone else?? Its just too coincidental for me (plus they write the same way).....picture perfect couple, picture perfect careers and a situation of picture perfect DD. I don't know.....I just got this whole feeling like it was all constructed. Also the fact that Parker and Brinless sell and ship DD introduction videos made me feel like this was somewhat of a scam or set up to make money on the lifestyle with a cover.
Posted by aprovencher21[/QUOTE]
<div>Ohhhh I missed the DD instructional videos part. Well, I HOPE it is just made up to promote sales, rather than this idiot (Parker) forcing her to parade this stuff online that is actually occurring, in order to sell videos. I also did not see some of the same-same blogs. I quess I was concentrating too much on those really disturbing "Sugar" blogs.</div>
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they said that they do this to teach her, so she learns to not do it agian. That being said, it is obviously not working. She writes several times that she keeps getting punished for the same thing. Her mini tantrums and bad attitude!
maybe they should switch roles and and her get to punish him for being a controlling a$$hole
PAL/TTCAL welcome
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Domestic Discipline? : Ohhhh I missed the DD instructional videos part. Well, I HOPE it is just made up to promote sales, rather than this idiot (Parker) forcing her to parade this stuff online that is actually occurring, in order to sell videos. I also did not see some of the same-same blogs. I quess I was concentrating too much on those really disturbing "Sugar" blogs.
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]
I didn't read the Sugar blogs. I was disturbed enough by Kensie and Brinlee. I do think anyone regardless of job, money, etc. can be a victim or an abuser. But this just seems like an odd promotional thing.
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