My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question

avsfan33

I'm honestly curious how old you and your FI are.

Starmusica

threadjack- Sarah! Just saw your baby name! LOVE.

misscyndikalene

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:465ffad2-c635-4c59-bfbb-312f41e753e0">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : For now, maybe you can sit down with him and tell him that you love him, and you can't wait to marry him, and you know that you guys have some things to work through and you're confident you will figure out together, but for now while you're in your mom's house, you both need to make sure that you're keeping your discussions away from her eyes and ears as much as possible. Every relationship has growing pains (we've encountered a lot of them since we moved in together), but you guys need to figure out how to do it together, especially since your mom tends to pry.
Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

Great advise.  I mean, we both have been in love with each other for years but the stress of being in my moms house is driving us both crazy- starting fights, her starting fights, prying ears..etc. It sucks because I only see him for maybe 4 hours before we go to sleep but hes usually hanging with my dad and then on the weekends he works sat and sunday so we never have a chance to talk. When i bring things up at night before bed he gets mad because he doesnt want to deal with it, but its like... when else are we going to deal with it??

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:0e59584c-463d-4c73-9a0f-ffd5b5ceb303">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]threadjack- Sarah! Just saw your baby name! LOVE.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
Thanks! That was the final selection. It was a hard fought battle for Julian, but Alex won out. 

Celles

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:3a60ad38-d44b-45bb-8a0b-97edec2bc513">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : What were you fighting about?
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say he stole her Barbie.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:694944be-27a3-4e68-accf-bb94ad5e1db3">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok Clarification. Is needed, sorry. 1. We were having a private discussion but my Fi ran out of the room and started to leave. I wanted to catch him and bring him back before he left. She caught me running after him and obvoiusly knew something was wrong. (yes he was being super childish and I was too for chasing after him, but it was an important fight) 2. My mom doesnt listen AT ALL. So  believe me, I try sitting with her and discussing things but she has to have the last word and will say as much childish and "trying to be hurtful" things as possible. I can say mom, can you help me with this and she will say "oh i didnt offer because I thought you'd yell at me"...And I dont, but she just says off the wall things like that that make no sense to the statement before. Or If i do something she doesnt like she'll say "well im not buying you christmas presents this year then" ...Uh ok..Im pretty sure that only works with 12 year olds. <strong>3.  I am moving out but we cant right now because we are saving up for the wedding first and then using the dollar dance money to put a down payment on a place.</strong>
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

Ha.  Haha.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

misscyndikalene

Im 23 and hes 25.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:ec38ff59-ae7b-43c0-aeb5-a211048b1402">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Im 23 and hes 25.
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>ok you are young but not THAT young. You sound like bickering children, I am sorry to say.</div><div>
</div><div>You two are seriously lacking in communication. This may sound harsh but if you cannot discuss things now- its going to be a zillion times worse later. It sounds like you guys have a lot of work to do on your relationship before you are ready to get married. I don't say this lightly but seriously, if you cannot even just sit and have an adult conversation- you have no business pretending to be adults and getting married.</div>

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:b2721348-e958-45e6-9af9-3ef46acd3c2e">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Am I the only one thinking this must be a different, special, type of dollar dance?
Posted by rhonwynv[/QUOTE]
Instead of Washingtons, the guests will drop Benjamins. Hundred dolla holla, y'all!

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:b2721348-e958-45e6-9af9-3ef46acd3c2e">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Am I the only one thinking this must be a different, special, type of dollar dance?
Posted by rhonwynv[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>like the kind that involves tassles and poles and not wedding dresses?</div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:ec38ff59-ae7b-43c0-aeb5-a211048b1402">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Im 23 and hes 25.
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

Fo real?

avsfan33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:b2721348-e958-45e6-9af9-3ef46acd3c2e">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Am I the only one thinking this must be a different, special, type of dollar dance?
Posted by rhonwynv[/QUOTE]

DED.

avsfan33

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:ec38ff59-ae7b-43c0-aeb5-a211048b1402">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Im 23 and hes 25.
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

Seriously? I'm 22 and FI is turning 22 and we don't even argue like that.

misscyndikalene

And thanks for all the snide remarks ladies,...... I seriously need advise and only got some good ones from a few gals, so thank you ladies who really gave me constructive ways of dealing with this.

The fight was that he is working is butt off to pay for our wedding, moving out, etc.. but he is filling up his schedule so much that he doesnt have time to spend with our baby. She cries when he holds her and I thought spending some one on one time with her when he is free will do them both good. So I was asking him what his schedule is like for the next couple weeks to set some dates for daddy and baby time. I wasnt trying to hurt him or insult, i seriously wanted to help. But he got insulted and didnt like that I brought it up...:(

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I think you're going to need a dollar dance, a garter auction, you should charge people to see you guys kiss at the reception, have a cover charge at both the wedding and reception and then also um, sell one of your kidneys.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:0b52682b-869b-4d21-a6f8-0a794a8998aa">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : ok you are young but not THAT young. You sound like bickering children, I am sorry to say. You two are seriously lacking in communication. This may sound harsh but if you cannot discuss things now- its going to be a zillion times worse later. It sounds like you guys have a lot of work to do on your relationship before you are ready to get married. I don't say this lightly but seriously<strong>, if you cannot even just sit and have an adult conversation- you have no business pretending to be adults and getting married.</strong>
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]
The point I was trying to make. I totally agree. 

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:c67ebf49-3f12-47e9-86b2-f4a02369f95e">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Totally agree with this. <strong>You two need to learn how to discuss things like human beings.</strong> If I had a fight with my husband, you could rest assured that my mother would ask something along the lines of "I heard you guys fighting last night... is everything okay?"  No need to immediately start blaming people off the bat, and I know her tone was condescending but you certainly didn't do anything to help her attitude with the way you barked back at her. I think when the two of you learn to discuss things like adults, you'll find that not all conversations have to be nasty.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

They are being human beings. They are just acting like TEENAGE human beings who love the drama.

OP, you really sound like you have some things that you guys need to work out first before you plan this wedding while living at home with your parents and hoping that a dollar dance will pay for your place to live afterwards. Down-payment or otherwise.

That is just wrong on so many different levels.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:3a405a24-a867-4d0a-9c7b-e305de6e60c3">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : FFS You two are parents?!  GROW UP!
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

...Yeah, I'm pretty much banging my head against my desk at this point. 

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:bc4ec175-0af4-4b51-8d8a-0c38c35a776d">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]And thanks for all the snide remarks ladies,...... I seriously need advise and only got some good ones from a few gals, so thank you ladies who really gave me constructive ways of dealing with this. The fight was that he is working is butt off to pay for our wedding, moving out, etc.. but he is filling up his schedule so much that he doesnt have time to spend with our baby. She cries when he holds her and I thought spending some one on one time with her when he is free will do them both good. So I was asking him what his schedule is like for the next couple weeks to set some dates for daddy and baby time. I wasnt trying to hurt him or insult, i seriously wanted to help. But he got insulted and didnt like that I brought it up...:(
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div><strong>ok SERIOUSLY FFS. I am just going to go ahead and call Troll. For her sake I hope she is a troll.</strong></div>

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:bc4ec175-0af4-4b51-8d8a-0c38c35a776d">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]And thanks for all the snide remarks ladies,...... I seriously need advise and only got some good ones from a few gals, so thank you ladies who really gave me constructive ways of dealing with this.
Posted by misscyndikalene[/QUOTE]
Listen here, youngin'. If you post this on an international message board, for everyone to read, anyone and everyone can comment however they want, so long as it's within the TOS set forth by TK. That being said, I think you're sort of taking everything in stride, good advice and snide remarks. Just don't go psycho on us.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

If you can't afford an apartment deposit, how the hell do you expect to pony up money every month for rent?  You can't have a dollar dance every week.

scottswife1106

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:9281ed5c-901f-4679-9aa7-a9447e7a360e">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok let's recount shall we 1.  You live with your mom because you can't afford a couple hundred dollar apartment deposit. 2.  He works every weekend and spends what little time available hanging with your dad instead of with you. 3.  Your financial plan includes getting rich from a dollar dance. 4.  He doesn't want to deal with issues and gets so mad he runs away from you.  Yep perfect candidates for marriage.  Seriously?  How is getting married going to help with any of these issues?  <strong>Please tell me this is MUD. 
</strong>Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

I have my toes, fingers and eyes hoping that it is. Cuh.Ray.Zee.

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:514f87a2-cb41-4cc6-9f0a-d1bc430f625c">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]  You can't have a dollar dance every week.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]


Says you.  I think it's a sound business plan.  My next dollar dance will be on monday.  Bring your dollar bills.  Cake and punch will be provided.

avsfan33

You do realize money doesn't grow on trees right? Do you work at all because if not you're expecting quite a bit from FI.

...I guess it could grow on trees if you have a money tree.

maratea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:65236b21-3dab-45d4-bdc2-b226e7a65df8">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Says you.  I think it's a sound business plan.  My next dollar dance will be on monday.  Bring your dollar bills.  Cake and punch will be provided.
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]
That sounds like the friendliest strip club ever.

Rosie109

I am so shocked that you received only snide remarks from a board called Snarky Brides. Very shocked.

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:514f87a2-cb41-4cc6-9f0a-d1bc430f625c">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]If you can't afford an apartment deposit, how the hell do you expect to pony up money every month for rent?  You can't have a dollar dance every week.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>It depends on what kind of "dollar dance" we are discussing AATB...</div>

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:65236b21-3dab-45d4-bdc2-b226e7a65df8">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : Says you.  I think it's a sound business plan.  My next dollar dance will be on monday.  Bring your dollar bills.  <strong><u><em>Cake</em></u> and punch will be provided.</strong>
Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

Well in that case...

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-driving-nutts-vent-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2c04c24d-9089-42c7-abb5-675546b31966Post:932a3073-576a-49ae-89fc-c4ee3a93808b">Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: My Mother is driving me Nutts!!! Vent and Question : It depends on what kind of "dollar dance" we are discussing AATB...
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

I started stripping years ago and have wanted for nothing ever since.

misscyndikalene

WOW.  Nice.....I never said I was having an expensive wedding. I never said i planned on using the dollar dance money to buy a house, just a simple security down. And we can afford the down, just dont want to do it now because we dont have enough saved to pay for apartment rent, wedding, baby, and misc for several months. I dont appriciate ppl commenting on my parenting. Im not offended by anyone because I know things get pretty slow here and when someone posts something just a little bit scandel worthy, everyone is ready to bear arms. I really appriciate the constructive criticism posted by some of you ladies. I will take it with stride. I love my FI even though his faults. This may be a hard time for us, but marriage is hard and you deal with it. We are dealing with it. I just wanted to know how to handle my mom in this post but it turned into something else. Thank you to those who really tried to help