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Snarky Brides

Are you signing a pre-nup?

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Re: Are you signing a pre-nup?

  • We are going to have one...and I don't mind signing it at all. If it makes my fiance feel better about the future that is fine with me. I know that we will never divorce because we simply do not believe in it. Once it's signed it will go in a safe deposit box and remain their until death do us part. I don't want anything that isn't mine or that I'm not entiltled to. Greedy divorce proceedings are what give women a bad rep anyway, hence putting the fear in men, resulting in a prenup.
  • We're not, but only because neither of us have much of an inheritance and we're worth about the same amount. If one of us had a business or something, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
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  • No pre-nup for me, if i thought i would need a pre-nup i wouldnt be getting married at all,your pretty much setting yourself up to fail saying when we split this and that is mine and this is what you can have.My husband and I are 50/50 so hopefully not but if we ever do split each of us gets 50/50 of what we have.
  • Planner, with $10,000 you can easily go out and get your own apartment and a damn job to pay for it.
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  • " Because I will be a lawyer in a little over a year, I think it's vital to ensure there is no unconscionability, so I will be going to a lawyer first to draft up a pre-nup, and then I will put a clause in the pre-nup which makes it mandatory for my fiance to get his own independent legal advice to ensure that the pre-nup is fair in his eyes. "

    In order to act in accordance with the Model ABA Ethical rules, this has to happen anyway.  IE one attorney can't represent two parties, both have to have independent counsel.  (I just took the MPRE)
  • edited March 2010
    No way, no how. And not because we are naive or blind or just being overly romantic. We are going in to our marriage with the understanding that divorce is simply not an option. And while 50% of marriages may end in divorce, I have no desire to go into my marriage thinking "this may fail" or "if this fails"... That being said, we don't have a whole lot worth "protecting either"... I just don't agree with the notion that you would marry a guy that you feel you need to protect yourself/your assests from.

    But that's just us.
  • Yup.
    He is the CTO of a new company and regardless of our decision to love each other forever it is the best thing for his company. Besides prenups can be alot of fun! We've been thinking up senarios and punishments and divide the friends up so there will be no arguements later... maybe that only seems like fun to us.... But I would say that if there is a good reason (business, inheritance, kids, etc)  then a prenup is a must. I would also like to say that even though it is not romantic discussing prenup stuff has actually been rather educational. If only to get insight into what we individually believe would be worth protecting should either one of us become raving lunatics. We have also met with shock when we tell people that we are getting a prenup, but it works for us.
  • Meh. My mother did not believe in divorce, after witnessing her mother's 3 marriages. She did NOT want her's to fail. Her first marriage lasted 26 years before she was divorced. So you can go into it with the best intentions, but you never know what will happen.
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  • megk8ozmegk8oz member
    2500 Comments
    edited March 2010
    I get annoyed with people that say "divorce is not an option". Bull crap. You can say you feel sorry for my DH all you want for my attitude towards that, but I don't really care. There are things that I'm not going to stand for: if DH has an affair, if DH becomes abusive, if DH comes home one day in 10-20 years and just announces "I'm not in love with you anymore", then I'm out. And I don't care who thinks I'm a bad wife for saying I'd call it a day over these things, because DH and I took a vow to respect each other amongst things on our wedding day, and in any of these scenarios, he's broken that promise, why the hell should I hold up my end to be with somebody who doesn't respect me?

    I don't foresee any of these things actually happening, but there are literally millions of women out there that didn't foresee these things happening to them either, and guess what? They did. I'm not bitter and completely jaded, I truly believe we're going to be together for as long as we both shall live. But on the same note, I'm just not stupid either. Sh!t happens, things don't always work out the way you plan them to.

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  • I can't understand the "not an option" thinking, either. There is no way you can look at any situation you are in or person you are with and say you would never, under any circumstances move on. More so, you cannot say that you husband would never leave.

    That having been said, I still think that if you do not want the risks of a legal marriage just don't do a legal marriage. You don't have to really.

    Really, though this is a discussion/"argument" with no right or wrong answers. People will do what they feel is best for them and they are most comfortable with.


  • I wanted to chime in and ask something. We're getting one as I've got some inheritance from my grandmother and will get more when my mother passes away. But I'm from the UK but am marrying in Orlando and am relocating to the US thereafter but we'll be moving around from state to state. 

    MY UK lawyer advised getting a prenup in the state we'll be getting married in - can anyone verify this? I've been Googling for an hour and can't seem to find a straight answer. I know different States have different laws on these things so I'd have to make sure the prenup stood up in the state we would be living in but I'm not sure where to get it draft in the first instance.

    Thanks!
  • mushEmushE member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_signing-pre-nup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ef2f094-358b-4784-86ac-4b905bf10e70Post:16c0450b-9265-4a54-bc2d-1fb9731da9b4">Re: Are you signing a pre-nup?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wanted to chime in and ask something. We're getting one as I've got some inheritance from my grandmother and will get more when my mother passes away. But I'm from the UK but am marrying in Orlando and am relocating to the US thereafter but we'll be moving around from state to state.  MY UK lawyer advised getting a prenup in the state we'll be getting married in - can anyone verify this? I've been Googling for an hour and can't seem to find a straight answer. I know different States have different laws on these things so I'd have to make sure the prenup stood up in the state we would be living in but I'm not sure where to get it draft in the first instance. Thanks!
    Posted by jazzycazy[/QUOTE]

    Because you're getting married in the U.S., it might be a good idea to do a prenup here.  If the worst should happen and you got divorced, the court in that state might find that the 'deal' you struck in your other prenup was unconscionable.  I'm not in FL, and don't know their specifics, though. 
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  • My fiance and I first discussed this long before we were engaged - and yes, we are signing a prenup, although we haven't contacted lawyers to get it drawn up yet.  Both of us feel like it is a good idea, particularly in a state with silly joint-property laws like CA - essentially, without a prenup, when we are married everything we each had individually will become "joint".  We are both willing to sign a prenup which essentially states that what I currently own remains "mine" (inheritance from my grandfather), and that neither of us will be responsible for any sort of spousal support in the (highly unlikely) case of divorce - we both feel like this concept, for us anyway, is outdated and unnecessary, since we both have careers and means of self-support.  We both agree that any issues regarding children can be worked out when such future children actually exist (i.e. will not be written into the prenup at all). 

    Essentially, it is a way for both of us to protect our assets and "overwrite" what we consider silly laws.
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  • My FI wanted a pre-nup and I am all for it. I was previously married, and we didn't have much when we started out, but I got burned badly, and started my life all over, as a single mother, because I wasn't protected. I didn't plan for a divorce when we got married, and having the thought process of "there is no option to divorce" is just silly to me. People change, situations change. There are no guarantees in life.

    MY FI and I both have retirement funds to protect in the event we do not stay together. Do I want to stay with him, OF COURSE! But you never know. Signing a pre-nup doesn't make me love him any less or have any bad karma thoughts about our relationship or future. It's a protection.

    Also, in the future, having children from a previous marriage, I needed to ensure that all and any inheritances (left in my name for the children) wouldn't be included in any asset distribution. My children shouldn't and will not be screwed out of money that was rightfully left to them, with good intentions, because FI and I may have an ugly divorce. So our pre-nup doesn't only cover our assets, but assets of the children as well.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_signing-pre-nup?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:2ef2f094-358b-4784-86ac-4b905bf10e70Post:238839b0-df81-4c02-975c-d6973aacb8b6">Re: Are you signing a pre-nup?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I first discussed this long before we were engaged - and yes, we are signing a prenup, although we haven't contacted lawyers to get it drawn up yet.  Both of us feel like it is a good idea, particularly in a state with silly joint-property laws like CA - essentially, without a prenup, when we are married everything we each had individually will become "joint".  We are both willing to sign a prenup which essentially states that what I currently own remains "mine" (inheritance from my grandfather), and that neither of us will be responsible for any sort of spousal support in the (highly unlikely) case of divorce - we both feel like this concept, for us anyway, is outdated and unnecessary, since we both have careers and means of self-support.  We both agree that any issues regarding children can be worked out when such future children actually exist (i.e. will not be written into the prenup at all).  Essentially, it is a way for both of us to protect our assets and "overwrite" what we consider silly laws.
    Posted by theresat858[/QUOTE]

    From what I've read online (we haven't been to the attorneys to draw up the papers yet) mentioning children/support/custody can not be listed in a pre-nup and if it is, it will not be valid.

    I know there are some law students on the board, so maybe they can chime in.
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