FML

sarah0725

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:9684dc14-d6e5-44a9-9054-56ebe46753a8">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FML : If she were atheist, I'd say that wouldn't concern her.  But I would think that's a chance the agnostic in her wouldn't want to take ;)
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Hey now, I don't think being an atheist has anything to do with whether one thinks it's fine to lie to a priest or not. I'm an atheist, and it's not like I have a secret baby-punching lab set up in my basement or something.*

OP, you piss me off. I was raised in the Catholic faith for 17 years before I realized I didn't believe in it, and I left with no hard feelings, and I realized when I visited the Vatican this summer that Catholicism still makes up an essential part of my mental DNA, but there's no way in hell I would go through the amount of lying I would have to do in order to make a Catholic wedding happen. Catholic dogma is pretty strict, and if you're willing to flout it like this, I'd say that you probably don't really have any respect for the Catholic faith at all. So get your head out of your butt.

*I'm lying. Of course I do! All atheists have them - it's how we get our powers.

thesuninherhead

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:9684dc14-d6e5-44a9-9054-56ebe46753a8">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FML : If she were atheist, I'd say that wouldn't concern her.  But I would think that's a chance the agnostic in her wouldn't want to take ;)
<p>Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>I know you're attempting to make a joke here, but the resulting ignorance is equally as offensive as the OP's.</p><p> </p><p> </p>

number55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:eb286a30-14cc-40f1-87d0-404a995b96e6">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright, to get the Catholic ceremony you want for not-the-best reasons, you are going to have probably three meetings with a Catholic priest right off the bad.  You will discuss your religious upbringing, your faith, your intention to raise children as Catholic.  You will have to discuss whether you want to receive communion, you will have to discuss which Bible passages you want.  You will also attend Pre-cana classes and have probably 3-6 classes on a Catholic marriage. How is that whole HUGE lie to one priest and your parish over the course of months any less obnoxious than pretending to believe what the creationist fundamentalist Christian believes? If you're OK lying to a Catholic church to get the fancy ceremony, why do you object to lying to FMIL's priest fo one little hour?
Posted by katelynbrian[/QUOTE]

<div>you completely missed everyone's point here. Nobody cares that you have a problem with your FMIL. They care that you are having a Catholic wedding when you aren't Catholic and don't believe in CHRIST, who is the key component of CHRISTIANITY. </div><div>
</div><div>Starting your marriage off with lies is sad and depressing. But since you don't actually care about the religion that you are lying about why would you think that it was wrong...</div><div>
</div><div>I think it is so interesting that as a 'born again' (and let's be fair, this term has two VERY different meanings, a negative one used to describe very fundamentalist, evangelical Christians, and then the other meaning, which is used to describe any Christian who has an adult baptism, such as I did - even thought I was 'raised' Catholic (baptised, first communium but not time in an actual Church) I didn't really care where I was being married (as in the physical building, but I cared that our pastor was marrying us because the religion part matter, the building didn't mean crap. And there you are, disrespecting a whole religion (one that I don't agree with but that is irrelevant) just to have a certain feel/look to your wedding (you have yet to provide any other reasoning so we are all just presuming you want it for the 'look').</div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

tinydancer842

why don't you put on your big girl panties & get married in a non-religious ceremony. DH was brought up catholic & I was brought up lutheran. After much discussion we decided to get married non-religious (no matter who it pissed off) b/c that was the right/honest thing to do. Surprisingly everyone loved the ceremony & we haven't had any sort of backlash (except my crazy aunt stopped sending my mom religious propaganda every week & then quizzing her on it -- which we view as a positive side effect). 

HobokensFury

IMO OP you are a hypocrite, but that's not for me to decide.  I highly doubt you will find a church to marry you and if you do you aren't likely to make it through the classes.  Good Luck lying to God.

Lenore2010

I was raised Catholic but have never as an adult practiced. 

I think it is completely disrespectful to those 200 years of ancestors you speak of to have a Catholic wedding when you ar NOT Catholic. 

There is no such thing as a "cultural Catholic" - it is a faith and you either believe and practice or you do not.

I think you are going to find it far more difficult to get away with this in a catholic church then you think - and "getting away with it" is exactly what it would be. It is lies and bullshit and deeply disrespectful to a faith you claim to have appreciation for.

I do not take communion when I go to family events or have other reason to be in church because I DO respect the church I left and I DO NOT want to make a mockery of anyone's religion.

I think this is one of of the most disturbing things I have seen on TK, and your MIL is worried about the wrong thing. If I were her, I would be far more concerned that my future DIL was hellbent on this kind of farce. 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:8613445a-691b-40cd-95fc-541a44df3b51">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]why don't you <strong>put on your big girl panties</strong>& get married in a non-religious ceremony. DH was brought up catholic & I was brought up lutheran. After much discussion we decided to get married non-religious (no matter who it pissed off) b/c that was the right/honest thing to do. Surprisingly everyone loved the ceremony & we haven't had any sort of backlash (except my crazy aunt stopped sending my mom religious propaganda every week & then quizzing her on it -- which we view as a positive side effect). 
Posted by tinydancer842[/QUOTE]

So, the craziest thing happened this morning. I was laying in bed and I smelled this awful death-y kind of smell and I couldn't figure out what the hell it was. Now, after seeing that this phrase has been used, I realize that smell was actually my soul dying.

chirpchirp

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:baa94b0d-c9f5-4db1-883c-9543d2bb3d84">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sad I missed this heap of ignorance. Otherwise, I would have told OP that she is completely ridiculous and needs to freakin grow up already. I don't believe in Jesus, but the McNugget reference still offended me. Try being an intelligent and respectful human being by not trashing other people's beliefs, unless it's too much of a strain for you, of course. Also, you can't be a part-time athiest or agnostic. It doesn't work that way. <strong>Man up and admit what you believe or keep your mouth shut altogether.
</strong>Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

But Sesh, if she commits to one, she won't be able to change her mind and fit in with whomever she is speaking too.  And then where would she be?

ReneeJacob

OP, you're dumb. That's all.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:67dabfb9-6380-4785-b335-90b612f5aad9">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FML : But Sesh, if she commits to one, she won't be able to change her mind and fit in with whomever she is speaking too.  And then where would she be?
Posted by chirpchirp[/QUOTE]

You mean then she would be an adult?! Oh, the horrors.

Celles

[QUOTE] There is no such thing as a "cultural Catholic" - it is a faith and you either believe and practice or you do not.  
Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

While I agree with this statement, I know several Catholics -- including my FI -- who would not.  Like the OP, he was raised Catholic and still identifies very strongly with the Catholic Church, if not the Catholic faith.  Even though he no longer believes in a personal God, he considers his Catholic upbringing an inextricable part of his cultural and personal identity. 

On some level, I know it still bothers him that we're planning a secular wedding: he's reminded me on several occasions that marriage will be the only sacrament he will not have partaken in.  He's not 100% okay with that.  I'm not sure he's even 50% okay with that.

As an atheist, I don't understand it.  At all.  I agree with you: either you believe and are Catholic, or you don't and are... something else.  But after more fights over this subject than I care to admit, including some that have damn near broken us up, I've come to realize -- reluctantly -- that for "cultural Catholics" like my FI (and the OP?), it may not so black and white.

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:58d10e54-a6bc-4b5c-ae00-adca5b99ad11">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]While I agree with this statement, I know several Catholics -- including my FI -- who would not.  Like the OP, he was raised Catholic and still identifies very strongly with the Catholic Church, if not the Catholic faith.  Even though he no longer believes in a personal God, he considers his Catholic upbringing an inextricable part of his cultural and personal identity.  On some level, I know it still bothers him that we're planning a secular wedding: he's reminded me on several occasions that marriage will be the only sacrament he will not have partaken in.  He's not 100% okay with that.  I'm not sure he's even 50% okay with that. As an atheist, I don't understand it.  At all.  I agree with you: either you believe and are Catholic, or you don't and are... something else.  But after more fights over this subject than I care to admit, including some that have damn near broken us up, I've come to realize -- reluctantly -- that for "cultural Catholics" like my FI (and the OP?), it may not so black and white.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I can definitely understand that because yes, growing up Catholic is a part of one's identity. I know it is a part of mine. When you grow up in the faith, there is a sense of community that goes with that for sure. When it comes to a church wedding though, not so much. What I meant to say is that to have a church wedding, you are either on board with the faith or you are not, regardless of upbringing.

</div>

Celles

I agree with that.  It's why I was so adamantly against a church wedding.  I'm an atheist with a pretty sharp axe to grind when it comes to the Catholic church, but even I wasn't comfortable lying to a priest.  It would have been disrespectful to him and his beliefs, as well as untrue to mine.

Lenore2010

Oh, and I must also comment on this "Jesus McNugget" crap. I agree completely with Sesh. Could you be any more offensive than to say something like this about a faith that has meant so much to untold numbers of people for 2000 freakin' years? You then, of all people say you want to get married in a Catholic church? I have a feeling we have all wasted many words trying to explain to something with your mentality what is wrong with that.

Lenore2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:66383107-0b6f-406f-8b4a-de11ba466066">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with that.  It's why I was so adamantly against a church wedding.  I'm an atheist with a pretty sharp axe to grind when it comes to the Catholic church, but even I wasn't comfortable lying to a priest.  It would have been disrespectful to him and his beliefs, as well as untrue to mine.
Posted by Celles[/QUOTE]

<div>I completely see that your way! I hope your FI sees it your way now, because if he does not I think you could tell him with 100% accuracy that virtually any priest would.</div>

J&K10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:b348c1a9-38c8-4c3e-a37d-60ff43c8c8bb">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FML :   I know you're attempting to make a joke here, but the resulting ignorance is equally as offensive as the OP's.    
Posted by thesuninherhead[/QUOTE]

I apologize for my inappropriate joke.  I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone, and I'm sorry for saying it. 

ichellemay1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:00dbb7df-e813-4549-b28c-6ce8e441135d">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, you're dumb. That's all.
Posted by ReneeJacob[/QUOTE]

Perfect.

tinydancer842

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_fml-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:3fc8d3ab-65b5-4ff1-8bc6-970955c1df89Post:76075517-48f8-4398-ac91-e0f58e0c1aa3">Re: FML</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FML : So, the craziest thing happened this morning. I was laying in bed and I smelled this awful death-y kind of smell and I couldn't figure out what the hell it was. Now, after seeing that this phrase has been used, I realize that smell was actually my soul dying.
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

<div>Aw I'm sorry you had such a bad morning! </div>

tinydancer842

Now thats a FML post worth reading.

GG825

In the Catholic Church, a wedding isn't just a "tradition"-- it's a Sacrament: an outward sign of grace being given to you by Jesus Christ through the institution of the Church, the Bride of Christ.

In other words, there are deep spiritual realities that are present during the Sacrament of Marriage, and the Church does not take this lightly. There are rites which must be followed; teachings that must be believed. Getting married in the Church is the sign to all the people present AND to everyone else that you believe in the Church's understanding of marriage: that it is the union between a man and woman that reflects God's self-sacrificing love for His Bride, the Church.

Actually, one of the requirements for a Catholic marriage is that you have your wedding within the Holy Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Making your vows before the Blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist--the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ--is what makes your marriage a covenant. If you don't believe in God or agnostic, making this outward proclamation of a nonexistant covenant is scandalous and sacrilegious.

Essentially, if you don't believe what the Church teaches, specifically regarding the Sacraments of Marriage and the Eucharist, then you technically aren't allowed to have a wedding in the Church.

I pray that this will become clear to the priest who has agreed to your wedding taking place in the Church.

Kate504

I am a Catholic. I have friends that are agnostic, Baptist, Athiets, Hindu, etc. I think the OP is VERY immature. I know that everyone is free to believe what they want and I think that is what makes this country great. (I know this is an international board, but still) I think that this OP needs to grow up and she will not be a very good role model for her children if she herself cannot even respect the other religons that people practice. She doesn't need to worry about getting married...she needs to worry about growing up.