Snarky Brides

Should I be gracious or pissed?


A month ago, FMIL tells us that "Aunt Tere" is making wine bottle holders to put on the tables at the wedding. FI and I groan and say heck no! Tell her there's no space on the table for them (seriously... with plates, multiple glasses, centerpieces and appetizers, it ain't gonna fit)

Even after she was told not to, this morning I see a few dozen wine bottle holders sitting in my FMIL's living room.

Not sure what to think... kind of a nice gesture, but every other family member ASKED how they could contribute, what we needed, etc.

It's a nice gesture, but I'm kinda pissed that she doesn't seem to care about what we really wanted!

They're not hideous or anything, so I'm trying to see if there's some way we could use them as favors, or bridal shower favors, or something! Clueless ...
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Re: Should I be gracious or pissed?

  • I'd go with graciously telling her thanks, but you're not using them, if you don't want to use them. 
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  • Since you already saw them but only saw about a dozen, could you give them away at the rehearsal somehow?

  • I think trying to use them is a good idea,but if you can't you can't.I would just be nice and let her down easy.
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  • Since you told them no long before all this work was done I'd say you're well within your rights to say "Oh FMIL, They are Gorgeous! (and a lot more fawning over how beautiful they are), but as we've said before there is simply no way for us to use them.  I'm sorry Auntie went to all this trouble for nothing."
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  • You can be pissed... to yourself.  I'd be gracious and apologetic to her face, though.
  • I'd find a way to use them, either by giving them out at the RD, giving them out at a shower, or putting them on a display table at the reception for people to take home.
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  • I'd probably see if you can use them at the RD, otherwise I agree with Betrothed's fawning and declining idea.
  • Gracious is the way to go.  At least she's trying to help, that's more than a lot of brides get.
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  • Thanks everyone for the advice!!! I'll probably end up using them to give away at the mixed shower or the rehearsal. (there just aren't nearly enough to use them as wedding favors!)
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  • Exactly what e-thug said...she knows everything!
  • Have you talked to Aunt Tere? She may not have a clue that you told FMIL no thanks...make sure you let her down just as easily.
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  • FMIL did talk to Aunt Tere (she see's her almost daily)
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  • What the heck is a wine bottle holder?
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  • I wish I could explain (first time I've ever seen them too).

    These ones are kind of like brown wicker baskets on a cylindrical shape, with a little pink flower. Not my taste, but surprisingly not hideous, either.
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  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited July 2010
    Is Aunt Tere going to be at the wedding? Have you told her your not using them? If you use them for the RD (and Aunt Tere isn't at the RD)  and you give them away then she might be a little upset when she gets to the wedding and there not on the tables. I would either you or your FI talk to Aunt Tere and say how get they are but  they won't fit on the tables , or whatever excuse you feel like is appropriate. Then you can tell her your going to use them for RD or bridal shower, or what not and  that your going to let everyone take one home so they can go to good use.
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