How do you feel about...

npasquale16

You've probably talked about this in the past, but I'm new and curious.

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l59y78E9V41qbfb8no1_400.jpg

How do you feel about adult receptions?

MissDuke2012

I personally think they're rude. Some people can't afford a babysitter. If I was invited to one I wouldn't go. Whether I could get a babysitter or not.

Edit: With Cam being so young if I was invited to a wedding that didn't state it was Adult Only, I would get her a sitter. I know kids are annoying and can ruin things. But, I still think parents know when they should and shouldn't take a child somewhere.

IMO, It's a lot nicer to have childcare set up somewhere. I'd feel bad having people have to pay for child care to come to my wedding.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Gaaaaaaaawd I hate reading KPS - bitches!

Anyway.  I'm not a very maternal person - I don't really even LIKE kids, to be honest.  I enjoy my future neices and nephew, and some cousins and stuff... but for the most part I'm not that excited about all the kids attending our wedding.

But you know what?  I know it's a touchy subject with some people and if they want to be able to bring their child to my wedding - so be it.  I could never ask people to leave their kids at home or just buck up and get a sitter.  I feel like it's rude.

Kudos to people who pull it off with class, though.  And if no kids showed up at my wedding - I'd probably glow a little inside.  I just could never do it to my family or the rest of my guests - I care too much about their feelings.

JenGin74

I don't have a problem with adult-only receptions at all.

We had a ton of kids at our wedding and I think they make for very amusing wedding guests

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:865a6e86-f72a-464b-beab-7a41e98d29ae">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Gaaaaaaaawd I hate reading KPS - bitches! </strong>Anyway.  I'm not a very maternal person - I don't really even LIKE kids, to be honest.  I enjoy my future neices and nephew, and some cousins and stuff... but for the most part I'm not that excited about all the kids attending our wedding. But you know what?  I know it's a touchy subject with some people and if they want to be able to bring their child to my wedding - so be it.  I could never ask people to leave their kids at home or just buck up and get a sitter.  I feel like it's rude. Kudos to people who pull it off with class, though.  And if no kids showed up at my wedding - I'd probably glow a little inside.  I just could never do it to my family or the rest of my guests - I care too much about their feelings.
Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

I find it hysterical.  How are you such a puss you can't write on the board?  I just love the accompanying pics :)

crys-crys

I am ok with them. We are having one ourselves. It's not even about kids. We just can't afford to invite everyone we want + feed their kids. Still, even if it was because we didn't like kids, if the parents didn't want to come then it is their choice. The last wedding we went to was adults only and we had an awesome time. I didn't even realize till after the fact that there were no children there.

[Deleted User]

I don't have a problem with adults-only anything. Weddings, birthday parties, whatever you're hosting. I also think it's a little ridiculous if people get all bent out of shape that their kids can't come. It's not like the person is singling out your kid individually.

But I don't have kids or plan on having any, so I'm sure that affects my outlook. We invited kids, and surprisingly there was only 1 incident. My cousin, 4 or so, laid on the ground and screamed after his mom said he couldn't have any more icing (he didn't want the cake, just icing).

ohwhynot

I don't have a problem with adult-only, some-kids only, or any-and-all-kids-invited receptions.  Esp. having planned & paid for a wedding reception, I can understand all of those choices.

The only thing that irritates me is when people try to justify it with "Oh, the parents will thank me for a kid-free night!"  That's just stupid - if the parents want a kid-free night, they'd hire a sitter, regardless of whether you invited their kids. 

katiewhompus

I don't think they are incredibly rude but I do think the couple needs to accept that people won't be able to attend.

I already know I'm going to be one of "those" moms when it comes to leaving my kid with people. Especially when they are babies/infants I would not leave them for longer than possible, and especially not overnight. I also don't enjoy doing things like weddings by myself so having Scott stay home while I went wouldn't be an option for me either. Yes my mom will be watching any future kids while I'm at work (not looking forward to pumping at a high school) but I also don't think it's fair to her to ask her for time over the weekend as well.

Once they are older (can eat on their own, potty trained, etc) then I'd be fine leaving them with my parents for the evening/night.

jasmineh7777

I am totally fine with them. If you can't get a babysitter, then don't come.
I really don't understand why people would be so offended that a couple doesn't want their children at an adult party. Your child just isn't as important to anyone else as it is to you. If you seriously can't spend an evening away from your child, that does not indicate a healthy relationship.

I also really don't want kids, which obviously influences my perspective.

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:65dfa857-85a6-4e13-93d8-28033e688c12">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : I find it hysterical.  How are you such a puss you can't write on the board?  I just love the accompanying pics :)
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

+1, I think of KPS as about the same as e-thugs; lets people who are scared to voice their opinions in real life be an asshole anonymously.  LOL

AllAboutTheBenjamin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:65dfa857-85a6-4e13-93d8-28033e688c12">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : I find it hysterical.  <strong>How are you such a puss you can't write on the board?</strong>  I just love the accompanying pics :)
Posted by npasquale16[/QUOTE]

LOL - exactly :)

jasmineh7777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:6794ff35-6518-4d28-8126-5099bff32e40">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think they are incredibly rude but I do think the couple needs to accept that people won't be able to attend.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

This. Realize people with a 5 month old won't be coming. It's a two-way street.

vegasgroom

My FI and I are having an adults-only wedding and reception, if it pisses some people off or if everyone on E says it's rude, yes, it probably is rude, but it's not going to change the fact that it's adults only.  We're not putting it on the invites but we're inviting everyone by name, no +1's or write in's, and the parents and WP are making sure everyone knows.

We're getting married in Vegas to start with, we've got a bunch of friends our age and friends of our parents who are all big drinkers and partiers and frankly I think the reception will take a turn towards child-inappropriate at some point based on some of the people who are coming and open bar the entire night.  We also don't want any crying babies during the ceremony.  I know, I'm heartless.  :-)

vegasgroom

I saw one KPS that bothered me, it was the one with the pregnant woman image and something about you're a bitch and I'm glad you had a miscarriage.  I can't believe someone would actually write that, something is seriously wrong with that person.  Other than that it's mostly harmless bitching.

jasmineh7777

A baby cried all through our ceremony, and I didn't even notice.

jasmineh7777

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:38e2a5c8-65a7-4a5c-ba09-a827f49d84b1">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]I saw one KPS that bothered me, it was the one with the pregnant woman image and something about you're a bitch and I'm glad you had a miscarriage.  I can't believe someone would actually write that, something is seriously wrong with that person.  Other than that it's mostly harmless bitching.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

Whoa. What?

npasquale16

Okay, I'll put my two cents in.

We are having an adult-only reception.  For us, it's about the money.  FI's family is ridiculously huge (almost 100 out of our 160 guests) and we just do not have the room in our venue for all of our family/friends' kids. 

I  don't judge when people prefer an adult-only reception.  I love kids and want to have my own someday, but a lot of parents do not have control over their children (A really nasty little brat in FI's fam comes to mind).  I don't need children running around and misbehaving during my vows (which happened at FI's cousin's wedding).

At the same time, I don't judge people who stay home.  It's their choice.

MissDuke2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:38e2a5c8-65a7-4a5c-ba09-a827f49d84b1">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]I saw one KPS that bothered me, it was the one with the pregnant woman image and something about you're a bitch and I'm glad you had a miscarriage.  I can't believe someone would actually write that, something is seriously wrong with that person.  Other than that it's mostly harmless bitching.
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I actually had somebody say something pretty close to that to me. To my face. It was more of a "Bitch I hope you have a miscarriage".

vegasgroom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:9e2e28c6-f4e1-4c96-be68-921f42d96d3c">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : Whoa. What?
Posted by jasmineh7777[/QUOTE]

I looked through about 20 pages trying to find it but it must be older than that.  It was pretty bad.

[Deleted User]

What?? MissDuke, why on earth would someone say that to you? That qualifies for a swift throat punch for sure.

ohwhynot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:22f58c1e-def7-49e2-bf99-19fbf95c1ef3">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI and I are having an adults-only wedding and reception, if it pisses some people off <strong>or if everyone on E says it's rude, yes, it probably is rude, but it's not going to change the fact that it's adults only.</strong>  We're not putting it on the invites but we're inviting everyone by name, no +1's or write in's, and the parents and WP are making sure everyone knows. We're getting married in Vegas to start with, we've got a bunch of friends our age and friends of our parents who are all big drinkers and partiers and frankly I think the reception will take a turn towards child-inappropriate at some point based on some of the people who are coming and open bar the entire night.  We also don't want any crying babies during the ceremony.  I know, I'm heartless.  :-)
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I can't think of anyone on E who would say it's rude.  Folks would point out that specifying "adults only" on the invitation is rude, but what you are doing is generally considered to be just fine. 

npasquale16

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:bb946e99-6a6a-4abd-bead-2947c19a1118">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : I actually had somebody say something pretty close to that to me. To my face. It was more of a "Bitch I hope you have a miscarriage".
Posted by MissDuke2012[/QUOTE]
WTF?  How are some people not immediately struck down by lightning? 

I didn't see that post on KPS anyway--just random bitching and hysterical pictures.

arthomas82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:c6267358-a644-4bff-b521-f508187e957c">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]I personally think they're rude. Some people can't afford a babysitter. If I was invited to one I wouldn't go. Whether I could get a babysitter or not. Edit: With Cam being so young if I was invited to a wedding that didn't state it was Adult Only, I would get her a sitter. I know kids are annoying and can ruin things. But, I still think parents know when they should and shouldn't take a child somewhere. IMO, It's a lot nicer to have childcare set up somewhere. I'd feel bad having people have to pay for child care to come to my wedding.
Posted by MissDuke2012[/QUOTE]

1) Really? No babysitter for one night?
2) Adult-only receptions are not to avoid "children ruining everything". Have you ever considered the fact that they cost as much as adults per head? If everyone brought their kids, the guest list would explode.
3) You're right - parents SHOULD know, but they dont.

jasmineh7777

That's pretty awful. You can dislike a person, but hoping that their unborn child will die? I can't imagine being that hateful, but it must really suck.

MissDuke2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:84b93d33-d888-44dc-ad54-5c7e5e4708db">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]What?? MissDuke, why on earth would someone say that to you? That qualifies for a swift throat punch for sure.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

She was upset that I couldn't attend her 21st birthday because I was 8 1/2 months pregnant. I looked like a whale and could barely move. I'm sure i would have been a lot of fun at a club at 2 in the morning. I think she ended up having about 2 people go that night after she called me out in front of all our friends.

[Deleted User]

That's absurd. Going to a birthday party versus taking care of your unborn child, yeah real hard decision. Some friend. At least no one went because she's such a horrible person.

nda_roxybabe

I have no problem with them, as long as it does not say "adults only" on the invite.

The other thing too is if I had a newborn, I'd prefer to use my own discretion on that matter. I do kind of see both sides though...
Sometimes having children limits you from doing things, thats part of being a parent.

LedZeppelin

I'm perfectly fine with adult only receptions. Even if my son was invited, we probably would not bring him. He doesn't ever sit still and it would just be a frustrating experience for us and him.

I, also, do not think that the bride and groom should have to provide on site daycare. Most likely, the parents know somebody that can watch their child for a few hours. If they don't, then they just don't go to the wedding. Sorry, but that's one of many responsible decisions you have to make as a parent.

missduke - I can't believe somebody said that to you! I can't believe someone could be that awful!

*edited to correct username

jasmineh7777

What a miserable person. There is no smoking in bars here now, but before I always felt icky when I saw a pregnant woman in a bar around all that smoke.

MissDuke2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:e9037b4d-d11e-470b-bda1-ba08c698157e">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : 1) Really? No babysitter for one night? 2) Adult-only receptions are not to avoid "children ruining everything". Have you ever considered the fact that they cost as much as adults per head? If everyone brought their kids, the guest list would explode. 3) You're right - parents SHOULD know, but they dont.
Posted by arthomas82[/QUOTE]

1. You really don't know everyone on your guest list's financial situation. I wouldn't expect anyone to keep my child for free. I would rather them bring their kids and be able to come than not have them there because they don't have the money for a sitter.

2. I don't know about where you live, but around here kids are less than half the price of an adult plate. I would rather cut people I'm not that close with than have my neice and nephew not there for my wedding.