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How do you feel about...

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Re: How do you feel about...

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    tidetraveltidetravel member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:23833f66-8d51-4aaf-8c02-b863e5336b01">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : I know this is just your explanation and not necessarily your view, but just to play devils advocate for a second: Does this mean that if someone is married with 4 kids, that they assume all 6 of them should and will be invited to every single event that happens within their family? Basically, if I want to invite you to something, I should plan on your entire pack showing up?
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
    It's not my view, personally, so I don't know that I can adequately answer the question.  I think that for most family events, someone like that would think that their children were invited (birthday parties, picnics, weddings, funerals, sunday brunch). 
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    Eh, personally I don't care. We like going out for a night by ourselves, but it works for us. It doesn't work for other people.

    So no, I wouldn't be offended unless it was an extenuating circumstance; like my brother decided to have a destination wedding and said no kids. Then, I'd smack some sense into him.
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    Yay!  LP and X are here!
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    All the cute babies except little Em!
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    I'm late to this, but I actually don't give two fucks about whether or not people have adult only receptions. It actually boggles my mind that anyone would want to take their kids to a reception.

    The only thing that does bug me is when some dumbass says they don't want kids there because they hate them and it will ruin THEIR BIG DAY. I still think it's fine for them to not invite kids, but I will definitely think they are a douche because of their reasoning.
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    I think if that is what you want then fine, but be prepared to have people not be able to go and don't get upset about that.  We were recently invited to a wedding and told kids were not invited.  We normally do not take our child but because of other circumstances needed to this time.  Well around here kids are always invited so the bride got a lot of no's.  She has now gone back and said kids could come, besides her only reason was that one might cry and she couldn't handle that.  We still are not going though because if she truly wanted no kids then that's what I'll give her.  Besides she is an extremely rude bitch anyway. 

    We are having kids, I don't want people to not be able to attend because they can't bring their kids if necessary.  And yes everyone on the guestlist I assumed would bring their kids, its just the way some people are and its not worth upsetting people.
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    I love the idea of having family kids at the wedding.. I hate the idea of friend's kids.

    Weddings are a family affair and kids are a part of the family.

    As far as friends' kids.. unless it is a casual affair.. I have no problem telling them to leave their kids at home.  If they don't want a night out without their kids.. then that it their decision.

    That being said.. my mom is very against having anyone under the age of 21.  She is worried about the open bar.  In her defense.. we were never invited to family weddings growing up.. still.. I want kids there and I am hoping to convince her it will be fine.
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    edited July 2010
    meh. I don't judge people for them. in general, I do believe that weddings are adult events, but I still had kids running all over the place at mine. they were the DJ's primary audience. :) it actually turned out to be a great thing, because my flower girl is an only child, so she found other girls her age to play with and stayed out of her parents' hair.

    I do judge people who say, "just get a babysitter and get over it" because it really is not that easy. there is not always a trustworthy babysitter who is available. and nursing mothers should always be allowed to bring their nursing baby.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:1afcd3a8-57f7-4a03-a56e-fcbcab97aa27">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't take Camden anywhere there will be drinking or smoking. I don't like her in that environment. So I would hire a sitter whether it was "Adult Only" or not. But in the event of an "adult only" reception I would hope there would be an option for childcare. Sitters cancel last minute all the time. Then you're left with no other option but not to go.
    Posted by MissDuke2012[/QUOTE]

    WHy is your lack of a sitter the responsibility of the bride and groom?  You chose to become a parent and as an adult are supposed to be taking care of your children.  It is not the responsibility of anyone else to find you childcare.  Why do you think you get special treatment as a parent?  I guess I should go around demanding my friends find me dog sitters and kennels and providing them if they want me to show up at their weddings.  <eye roll />

    We're only inviting two children to the wedding.  They are family.  Two of my friends will have newborns by the wedding and they are more than welcome to bring them as I understand about not wanting to leave them at home.  Other than that we aren't inviting children.  For me a child plate costs $100.  If I included all children my guest list would just about double and half of them I've never met.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:196e4319-a826-4769-bd4e-ec721d06b804">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have no problem with them, as long as it does not say "adults only" on the invite. The other thing too is if I had a newborn, I'd prefer to use my own discretion on that matter. I do kind of see both sides though... Sometimes having children limits you from doing things, thats part of being a parent.
    Posted by nda_roxybabe[/QUOTE]

    <div>i missed my best friends wedding reception because it was adults only and i had a newborn that was breastfed and needed to eat every three hours.</div><div>
    </div><div>i went to the ceremony and then skipped the reception.  i was a bit upset but my baby is way more important than a silly party.</div><div>
    </div><div>our wedding will be kids galore and i wouldn't have it any other way.  i can't imagine having an important event and not inviting the kids in our family.  </div>
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    Blueyed228Blueyed228 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited July 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:1bc4cdaf-0109-49dc-900b-dbd7ee78b768">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : i missed my best friends wedding reception because it was adults only and i had a newborn that was breastfed and needed to eat every three hours. i went to the ceremony and then skipped the reception.  i was a bit upset but my baby is way more important than a silly party. our wedding will be kids galore and i wouldn't have it any other way.  i can't imagine having an important event and not inviting the kids in our family.  
    Posted by flyjawn[/QUOTE]

    Im not a mom so this I have no personal experience with this, but all of my friends who breast fed would just pump a few bottles for their babies when they had an event to go to.  It really wasnt a big deal for them.

    That being said, I dont know if pumping is not possible for some people, but if it is possible I dont see why it couldnt be done for special occasions.

    These friends didnt want to stay for the entire event because they were anxious to get home to their babies, but they did find a way to show up, sans baby, for a few hours.

    Also, IMO, your kids are only that important to you.  And people who dont have kids dont consider their weddings a "silly party".  Maybe things change once you have your own kids, but I cant imagine not being able to leave my childs side for more than 3 hours for the first year or so of their lives.

    But I would never hold it against a friend who declined my wedding invitation because she had a newborn.  Well, unless she called it a silly party.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52f1dd1e-2425-4266-890c-9e81a64cb07bPost:1bc4cdaf-0109-49dc-900b-dbd7ee78b768">Re: How do you feel about...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do you feel about... : i missed my best friends wedding reception because it was adults only and i had a newborn that was breastfed and needed to eat every three hours. i went to the ceremony and then skipped the reception.  i was a bit upset but my baby is way more important than a <font color="#800080">silly party</font>. our wedding will be kids galore and i wouldn't have it any other way.  i can't imagine having an important event and not inviting the kids in our family.  
    Posted by flyjawn[/QUOTE]

    Seriously, you manage to annoy me just about every time you post.  No one cares about your kids as much as you do.  Kinda like no one cares about your wedding as much as you do.  I'd be offended if someone referred to my wedding as just a silly party.
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    I think a lot of guests (parents included) appreciate the adults-only reception.  My brother and SIL prefer not bring their kids to our wedding and have a night as those are few and far between these days.  Plus, you don't want kids if you're having an evening wedding.  Kids get punchy around 8PM.  You certainly don't want kids having issues at the start of the reception! 



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    I think it's fine! I wish we had done that...

    We tried to make it obvious by doing the old

    "We have reserved ___ seats in your honor
    Number of Guests Attending ____
    Not attending ____" 

    and only putting 2 in the first line (or whatever is appropriate) so that people wouldn't bring their children. And it's not that we didn't want them there we just don't have any room at the dinner. (Several of FIs friends have like, 3 - 4 children!) We also told everyone that they can bring their children to the receiption or have them dropped off there if they want, most of them live fairly local to the wedding location.

    Problem is a couple of FIs friends and a cousin who just had babies (like literally a week ago) think that they can bring their babies because they are breast feeding. One of them even put that 3 guests were attending even though we'd put that 2 seats were reserved in their honor. I'm sorry, I'm generally very agreeable but if someone is breastfeeding at my wedding, or a baby starts having a breakdown in the middle of the ceremony I might have a heart attack.

    Like I said, we've made it pretty clear that we just don't have the room at the dinner and if they want to come to the receiption they can....

    Just a weird situation all around.

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