Stupid things people say

kangaria13

Hello everyone!

I am pretty much just a lurker, but I had an email from a friend today regarding my wedding guest list that I thought may spark some fun Monday afternoon comments. I hope you don't mind indulging me.

Background: This is someone who I have been friends with for more than 20 years. She is pretty sensitive and I am used to her saying some crazy things. This comment was in response to "How was your weekend?" and she attended a wedding without a plus one (she is single).

"I had a lot of fun--but don't you dare invite me to yours without a date unless you have an amazing guy to fix me up with at your wedding."

I took a deep breath and assured her that she could bring a plus one. And tried to explain how costs and numbers can affect who gets invited with a plus one and who doesn't and not to take it personally. She then gave me 10 different tips on how to save money on my wedding, i.,e., just serve appetizers and not a full dinner, etc.

I assume that I am not the first one to have crazy/stupid/thoughtless things said to them about their wedding. But thanks for letting me vent!

Starmusica

I find it fairly hilarious that this girl thinks not serving a full dinner would be a fair trade off for her getting a random plus one to bring.

That said- if at all possible, singles SHOULD be given a plus one but I would personally never trade a full dinner at the reception for a bunch of random plus ones.

Loopyseven

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:e455d26c-5064-4fea-846c-1c21a621caf6">Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello everyone! I am pretty much just a lurker, but I had an email from a friend today regarding my wedding guest list that I thought may spark some fun Monday afternoon comments. I hope you don't mind indulging me. Background: This is someone who I have been friends with for more than 20 years. She is pretty sensitive and I am used to her saying some crazy things. This comment was in response to "How was your weekend?" and she attended a wedding without a plus one (she is single). "I had a lot of fun--but don't you dare invite me to yours without a date unless you have an amazing guy to fix me up with at your wedding." I took a deep breath and assured her that she could bring a plus one. <strong>And tried to explain how costs and numbers can affect who gets invited with a plus one and who doesn't and not to take it personally. </strong>She then gave me 10 different tips on how to save money on my wedding, i.,e., just serve appetizers and not a full dinner, etc. I assume that I am not the first one to have crazy/stupid/thoughtless things said to them about their wedding. But thanks for letting me vent!
Posted by kangaria13[/QUOTE]

<div>I probably would have skipped this part, regardless of how long I'd known her.  </div>

funandfreckles

One of our friends did an appetizer-only wedding and it was more costly that a full meal.
Seeing that she's single, I'm sure she's a professional at planning weddings....

Blueyed228

I still dont get why people think grown adults want to attend a wedding solo.

Girlie1030

Over on E some chick saying a step-parent is not a parent. 

Non-TK related, coworker complaining that I have dark chocolate in the candy dish on my desk.  I'm sorry if you don't like the free candy I put out buttmunch. 

kangaria13

I agree that, if possible, you should invite your guests with a plus one. All of my singles were invited with a plus one. But I don't have that many so it won't make or break our budget.

Dot, it is nice to meet you and I am sorry that you work with a bunch of asshats. But your post made me laugh.

amyb140

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:a93f8e1d-c666-4f78-9b49-744810422f7a">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]I still dont get why people think grown adults want to attend a wedding solo.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
This.  I was never invited to a wedding with a plus one ONCE when I was single (which was an embarrassingly long time).  I was a BM/MOH in 8? 9? weddings - not even then.  It made me feel like such a huge loser.  Yes, I know - "truly single people" blah blah blah.  Know how to make a "truly single person" feel even shittier about their situation?  Invite them alone and make them sit with a bunch of couples.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:a93f8e1d-c666-4f78-9b49-744810422f7a">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]I still dont get why people think grown adults want to attend a wedding solo.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

ITA with this.

QueerFemme

My favorite stupid thing that people say, which has happened repeatedly over the past 6 months we've been planning is. "I don't know why you are spending so much money on this wedding anyway... when it isn't even a real wedding".   


Edit for clarification:   Queer wedding in CA where our marriage isn't legally recognized.

afeliz79

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:4b7e905e-539a-4a1c-a783-b20580a06bec">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]My favorite stupid thing that people say, which has happened repeatedly over the past 6 months we've been planning is. "I don't know why you are spending so much money on this wedding anyway... when it isn't even a real wedding".    Edit for clarification:   Queer wedding in CA where our marriage isn't legally recognized.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]



You win the thread. Not only is that a stupid thing to say, it's a really shitty thing to say.

celticmyss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:4b7e905e-539a-4a1c-a783-b20580a06bec">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]My favorite stupid thing that people say, which has happened repeatedly over the past 6 months we've been planning is. "I don't know why you are spending so much money on this wedding anyway... when it isn't even a real wedding".    Edit for clarification:   Queer wedding in CA where our marriage isn't legally recognized.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">You have a lot of self control if you refrained from throat punching everyone who said that to you.</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">
</span></div><div><span style="font-family:Arial;font-size:12px;background-color:#ffffff;">Farking TK mobile made me get out of bed to fix this post. </span></div>

Starmusica

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:a93f8e1d-c666-4f78-9b49-744810422f7a">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]I still dont get why people think grown adults want to attend a wedding solo.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>they don't... and shouldn't have to. Although I think it's worse to starve your guest. Seriously- there has to be a smarter way to handle this type of thing.</div>

RebeccaB88

I wasn't even allowed to bring a date to my own sister's wedding.  And I was the MOH.  Definitely cured me from ever wanting a head table.  Loneliest thing ever...

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:71fd274f-5ead-46f2-878d-0171bbf40117">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid things people say : You have a lot of self control if you refrained from throat punching everyone who said that to you. Farking TK mobile made me get out of bed to fix this post. 
Posted by celticmyss[/QUOTE]

Most of the time, I just say something like "well, you don't have to come to my non-real wedding and eat my non-real food and drink my non-real liquor."    Although, there have been a few times I just said "fucccckkkkk you" and walked away.

jpines22

our guest llist is spiraling out of control bc my FI has a huge italian family. we decided a while ago that we aren't giving anyone a plus one unless they're married or have been in a relationship for a while. people can gripe all day about not getting a plus one but, at the end of the day, it's my money and i'm spending it how i like. that girl should know she's lucky to get a plus one and should shut up about it.

icefog34

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:581d490c-0577-4d5d-b726-885ae4b1e217">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid things people say : You win the thread. Not only is that a stupid thing to say, it's a really shitty thing to say.
Posted by afeliz79[/QUOTE]
I second that...I'm sorry sh!t-bag things like that are said. :(  That's heartless

mkrupar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:36cab2e4-d0f9-4a29-9194-cce32931b679">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]our guest llist is spiraling out of control bc my FI has a huge italian family. we decided a while ago that we aren't giving anyone a plus one unless they're married or have been in a relationship for a while. people can gripe all day about not getting a plus one but, at the end of the day, it's my money and i'm spending it how i like. that girl should know she's lucky to get a plus one and should shut up about it.
Posted by jpines22[/QUOTE]

If someone is in a relationships when the invitations go out, you invite them and their SO, REGARDLESS of how long they've been dating. Don't use your wedding as an excuse to judge the seriousness of another person's relationship. Many people are serious right off the bat. Hell I had several friends meet their spouses and get married in the time it took us to plan. So, if anyone considers themselves in a relationship you invite them as a couple.

And you kind of sound like a snot.

ktwed1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:4b7e905e-539a-4a1c-a783-b20580a06bec">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]My favorite stupid thing that people say, which has happened repeatedly over the past 6 months we've been planning is. "I don't know why you are spending so much money on this wedding anyway... when it isn't even a real wedding".    Edit for clarification:   Queer wedding in CA where our marriage isn't legally recognized.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]
WTH! What a really stupid thing to say. People really amaze me sometimes.

jpines22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:781f8b70-14c7-4046-b98f-e77e181e734d">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid things people say : If someone is in a relationships when the invitations go out, you invite them and their SO, REGARDLESS of how long they've been dating. Don't use your wedding as an excuse to judge the seriousness of another person's relationship. Many people are serious right off the bat. Hell I had several friends meet their spouses and get married in the time it took us to plan. So, if anyone considers themselves in a relationship you invite them as a couple. And you kind of sound like a snot.
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

what the hell is up your butt? i can invite whoever i would like and not giving people a plus one is totally within appropriate etiquette. if someone has a significant other at the time the invites go out, they WILL get a plus one. stop jumping to conclusions. if they're single, they're not getting one. you're really out of your mind and clearly just looking for an argument.

Meteorite

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:a88a90fa-1e47-4502-85e4-b0231af1e427">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]The stupid thing I am tured of hearing about my wedding is "no we haven't RSVPd yet but you know we are coming right?"  No betch I don't cause that is what the damn card is for just effing mail it.  At work the stupid thing I am tired of is "well I didn't know".  BBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSS!  It's written right there.  Just admit you didn't want to do it and quit trying to pretend like no one ever told you. Hi my name is Dot and the people I work with are asshats. 
Posted by Dot Dash[/QUOTE]

<div>You're really funny!  Amen to everything you just said, times fifteen.  If I hear one more person say "oh, you don't really need me to send MY rsvp, though, do you?" I may just tell them where they can put it instead.</div>

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:36cab2e4-d0f9-4a29-9194-cce32931b679">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]our guest llist is spiraling out of control bc my FI has a huge italian family. we decided a while ago that we aren't giving anyone a plus one unless they're married or have been in a relationship for a while. people can gripe all day about not getting a plus one but, at the end of the day, it's my money and i'm spending it how i like.<strong><u> that girl should know she's lucky to get a plus one and should shut up about it.</u></strong>
Posted by jpines22[/QUOTE]

You sound like you are so much fun.  And a snob.  And cheap.

anssett

I'm honestly confused about why it would be so awful for a single person at a wedding to have to talk to other friends at the wedding or chat up some nice strangers. I'm not trying to be snarky; I'm confused. Do you regularly attend weddings where you don't know anyone? How does this happen? Anytime I attend a wedding I know the bride or groom, and if they know me well enough to invite me to their wedding we've probably hung out a lot, with other people they've also invited to the wedding. Family, co-workers, friends, whatever. 

QueerFemme

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:b0851885-10f7-419d-855a-aab213cd4b2e">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm honestly confused about why it would be so awful for a single person at a wedding to have to talk to other friends at the wedding or chat up some nice strangers. I'm not trying to be snarky; I'm confused. Do you regularly attend weddings where you don't know anyone? How does this happen? Anytime I attend a wedding I know the bride or groom, and if they know me well enough to invite me to their wedding we've probably hung out a lot, with other people they've also invited to the wedding. Family, co-workers, friends, whatever. 
Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]

I have friends from across the country coming, when I used to live in Chicago and Pennsylvania. They don't know anyone.  I have ONE coworker that I am friends with, she wouldn't know anyone.  I have former colleagues that I am friends with, but we hang out occasionally outside of work, but not with the rest of my immediate circle of friends. She won't know anyone. 

There are a lot of reasons why people wouldn't know anyone else at the wedding.

PoeWedding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:a56e4fea-848f-4c03-8cb6-90683a598e6a">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid things people say : Most of the time, I just say something like "well, you don't have to come to my non-real wedding and eat my non-real food and drink my non-real liquor."    Although, there have been a few times I just said "fucccckkkkk you" and walked away.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]


You are totally justified! As if queer love isn't real love. People these days lind of destroy my soul...

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:b0851885-10f7-419d-855a-aab213cd4b2e">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm honestly confused about why it would be so awful for a single person at a wedding to have to talk to other friends at the wedding or chat up some nice strangers. I'm not trying to be snarky; I'm confused. Do you regularly attend weddings where you don't know anyone? How does this happen? Anytime I attend a wedding I know the bride or groom, and if they know me well enough to invite me to their wedding we've probably hung out a lot, with other people they've also invited to the wedding. Family, co-workers, friends, whatever. 
Posted by anssett[/QUOTE]



Im confused as to why that matters? Just because I know your cousin or SIL doesnt mean you still are not going to use me as a space filler at an incomplete table. And it doesnt change the fact that you think that as a grown women I am supposed to feel "lucky" to be invited to your wedding at all. Because spending a Saturday night dressed up alone is wicked ideal.

SachaBee

I think perhaps my issue with plus-ones is that I don't want people I (or fi) don't know at our wedding. The same goes for work friends of the parents' or whatever. If neither fi nor I has never met them, I don't see why they should be there. We are trying really hard to have a small wedding, not for cost, but because that is our style. However, we would also try really hard to make sure everyone has friends/relatives there (made easier by the not-inviting-randos...) and to sit with. If someone is in a relationship (and I hope I will know everyone well enough to judge the seriousness or discuss it with them) then their SO will be invited. But I don't see why someone should bring a random friend when they will already have friends/relatives there. I do think this is a matter of opinion, finances, personal preference rather than strictly etiquette (from what I remember, inviting all single people with plus one is not necessary).

However to the woman who was the Maid of Honour and didn't get to bring a date, I find that somewhat atrocious. You are doing so much for the bride, if you wanted to bring a date (maybe someone who could bring you drinks while you were doing your MOH duties, hold your purse, whatever) the bride should have been a little accommodating in my opinion.

I would hope that if someone *really* wanted to bring a date for some reason (or got serious very fast after invitations were mailed) they would bring it up with me and we could work something out.

I attended a family member's wedding recently. I was/am in a very serious relationship (we became engaged less than two months later). He was not invited, I was not upset. The family member doesn't know fi and my whole family was there. I had a wonderful time dancing with my sisters and cousins and getting to know the bride's family. Yes, maybe I would have/could have had a better time with him there, but it is just one night and I had a lot of fun! So from personal experience, plus-one is not necessary for a good time.

Blueyed228

There is so much justification for a bad idea going on in this thread its making my head hurt.

I cant believe I just read a sentence that said " I will know everyone well enough to judge the seriousness of their relationship".

willywally5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:eb8c0513-4eab-483c-95cd-765f8a0db367">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Stupid things people say : You're really funny!  Amen to everything you just said, times fifteen.  If I hear one more person say "oh, you don't really need me to send MY rsvp, though, do you?" I may just tell them where they can put it instead.
Posted by Meteorite[/QUOTE]

<div>I just want to scream at these people. Cuz gosh, is it REALLY too much to ask for you to send an addressed, stamped RSVP back to us to let us know if you will be enjoying a great meal, drinks, dancing and an all-around good time on our dime? I guess I should have to chase your ass down to make sure you do or don't want to attend. Gah. </div><div>
</div><div>Check the damn box, pop it in the mail. I numbered the dang things, so you don't even really need to write out your name is you are REALLY that lazy. </div><div>
</div><div>And, ummmm, I'm not psychic so really DO need your reply.</div>

SallyT14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_stupid-things-people-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:61c38273-8e76-482c-a437-479a4a35f1cePost:36cab2e4-d0f9-4a29-9194-cce32931b679">Re: Stupid things people say</a>:<div>[QUOTE]our guest llist is spiraling out of control bc my FI has a huge italian family. we decided a while ago that we aren't giving anyone a plus one unless they're married or have been in a relationship for a while. people can gripe all day about not getting a plus one but, at the end of the day, it's my money and i'm spending it how i like. that girl should know she's lucky to get a plus one and should shut up about it.
Posted by jpines22[/QUOTE]

</div><div>I understand where you're coming from. I'm the first of my friends to get married, and a lot of them are single. I know I can't afford to give them plus ones. I'm not sure yet exactly how I'm going to go about it. I'll probably just invite the SOs if I know them and are friends with them also. It might sound harsh, but luckily my friends are all friends with each other, and I plan on having the singles sit by their friends anyway. I still have plenty of time to plan though, thank God!</div>

SachaBee

Well too bad blue, 'cause it's true You don't know me OR my guests, so I don't know why you feel you can judge ME. Also, that sentence was finished with "...or discuss it with them." For instance, my fi's cousin (with whom he is super close) is frequently in and out of relationships that aren't really serious (for the record since I know you will jump on this, this is straight from her, not assumptions). If this is the case when invites go out, I would want him or I to call her and ask if she thinks we should extend the SO an invite as well. We know her well enough and are close enough to her where it would be equally easy for her to say "eh, no, we're just having fun together and it will probably be over by then" or "yeah, I really like this guy and think we might be getting serious." Like I said we are having as SMALL a wedding as possible so we will KNOW all the guests and their relationship status. Like I ALSO said, if they have a problem with not having a plus-one, they are free to discuss it with us because they know we are chill and want everyone to be happy and have a good time.

Every bride is different, so every wedding is different. Mine is going to be small and intimate therefore I don't want people there I don't know. However, if we somehow overlook a significant other or a couple becomes very serious very quickly, I would want to know so I could try to fix the situation.