Bridesmaid issues

chelseamb11

So is it your FMIL who is having the surgery then (if I read it correctly this was your FSIL who was coming to see her mom before surgery)?

pkontk

Yes, bridesmaids do tend to plan showers and the like, but they are not required to.  PPs gave you good advice.  No one was 'pissed' at you, they just let you know how your attitude came across.

ETA I'm glad you're apologizing.  I tend to think that the more gracious the bride, the happier bridesmaids are to be part of the wedding.

Hergies403

We just bump heads and he does some things that I think are not very nice. My fmil told me even before I met her that her daughter is a very selfish person ad only thinks of herself. Her whole family thinks of her that way AND has told me. Maybe they kind of affected my views on her? I don't know but it doesn't matter. I need to still apologize. Don't want any more drama...tempted to just elope lol. Would be a lot cheaper!!

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6b83cbf5-362c-4fc1-80e5-818c71747bdfPost:2912596e-e953-4ae5-8c57-2d9221e5abc6">Re:Bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]We just bump heads and he does some things that I think are not very nice. My fmil told me even before I met her that her daughter is a very selfish person ad only thinks of herself. <strong>Her whole family thinks of her that way AND has told me. Maybe they kind of affected my views on her?</strong> I don't know but it doesn't matter. I need to still apologize. Don't want any more drama...tempted to just elope lol. Would be a lot cheaper!!
Posted by Hergies403[/QUOTE]

<div>I have a similar situation and yes, I believe it did/does effect how I see this person.  The key is to try and put what they say aside, even if it is true and try and focus on the positives about that person, otherwise you'll never get along well.... trust me.  Apologize and move on is the best thing you can do.  I have to agree that at times eloping sounds a lot better until I realize half of my "drama" is me making mountains out of molehills :)</div>

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:6b83cbf5-362c-4fc1-80e5-818c71747bdfPost:2912596e-e953-4ae5-8c57-2d9221e5abc6">Re:Bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]We just bump heads and he does some things that I think are not very nice. My fmil told me even before I met her that her daughter is a very selfish person ad only thinks of herself. Her whole family thinks of her that way AND has told me. Maybe they kind of affected my views on her? I don't know but it doesn't matter. I need to still apologize. <strong>Don't want any more drama...tempted to just elope lol. Would be a lot cheaper!!
</strong>Posted by Hergies403[/QUOTE]

Another word of advice, if you set your expectations too high and you dont get what you want, this will cause you stress. And you will be asking again "why didnt they do"?( insert inane task here).

Keep it simple and dont sweat the small stuff, if things dont get done, only you will know it. So in the big scheme of things it wont matter, and you will be WAY less stressed planning your wedding. Dont make it a chore.

ZombieNates

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6b83cbf5-362c-4fc1-80e5-818c71747bdfPost:a40f797d-f117-4df7-8acd-e71400ca8ffe">Re:Bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Bridesmaid issues : I have a similar situation and yes, I believe it did/does effect how I see this person.  The key is to try and put what they say aside, even if it is true and try and focus on the positives about that person, otherwise you'll never get along well.... trust me.  Apologize and move on is the best thing you can do.  I have to agree that at times eloping sounds a lot better until I realize half of my "drama" is me making mountains out of molehills :)
Posted by lbarr088[/QUOTE]

Agreed. And remember--you can control how you respond and your actions are what people will judge you by, not hers. Let her look like the asshole if she wants to, but you will only hurt yourself if you respond in the same manner.

Hergies403

Whats a hosebeast????

tpender13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6b83cbf5-362c-4fc1-80e5-818c71747bdfPost:60f97b39-4a65-4271-9bfe-75cce142cd05">Re:Bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Whats a hosebeast????
Posted by Hergies403[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/9/55f79c76-21b6-4f13-990e-8f970d80942f.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/5/9/55f79c76-21b6-4f13-990e-8f970d80942f.medium.png" alt="" /></a>

allisong23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_bridesmaid-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:6b83cbf5-362c-4fc1-80e5-818c71747bdfPost:fa1170df-f77f-4e22-b8fb-a98f8cdf0329">Re:Bridesmaid issues</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh wow didn't think I would get hell for posting this lol. I said I understood thy be wants to see her mother. I would have done the same exact thing. This is my first wedding. I googled and read that bridesmaids typically help with the shower. <strong>My poor moh is 9 months Prego</strong> and no one but me an my mother and my mother in law offered to help. The things is I had some other girls tell me try we're disappointed they couldn't be my bridesmaid and I asks these two girls because they are my future sister in laws. I don't even feel like the ones I have now even care. Ithey knew ahead of time what it takes to be in a wedding and that I need their support. The shower wouldn't be a shower if my bridesmaida were there. Only one of them ever talks to me about the wedding and that very few And in between. I have people here including my fianc and his mother that are upset. I'm not alone. I guarantee if this was one of their weddings they would have been just upset. Also FYI I'm looking for info no need to yell at me. Lol
Posted by Hergies403[/QUOTE]


<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/8/7976d0ca-68b3-41ca-a812-c591f51346a7.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/9/8/7976d0ca-68b3-41ca-a812-c591f51346a7.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

Hergies403

Hahahahhha I plan on using that for my pregnancy announcment whenever that happens . My fianc can hold a sign that says "we are" and I'll hold a Prego bottle!