I have an actual WR question. wow.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I think it's fine to offer to pay for something if you're so inclined. I don't think it's okay for the other BMs/MOH to say, "Well, we split it 5 ways, so here's what you owe, even though you had no say at all in the planning." Even if they only wanted $25, I'd be put off by that.

i2012do

eh this is tricky because a. i like cheese and b. it depends on how much you should be contributing ?

I was a BM and the shower was $175 pp. one girl from out of state couldnt make it, and told the mom in advnace. Her mom picked up 100 of it, and she paid the $75-- we were SURE to tell the bride that it was froma ll the bridesmaids, including those who could not be there...

we also informed guests that one of the bridesmaids who had "jointly" thrown the shower couldnt be there.. .we threw her a little recognition and she threw us a little moola

meganyani

hmm ok. my sister lives in my home state and could not attend my surprise shower because of her job. since i don't have 'friends' here (haha, how sad), my FI's relatives plus my two other BMs attended. I believe my aunt-in-law, mom, and MIL paid for everything. No one else was expected to pay! That just sounds odd. Then again, it was very simple with balloons, food, punch, and cupcakes.

I'm not sure what other huge costs could be incurred? How are these people needing to pay $175/person?

So personally no, I don't think an OOT girl should have to pay at all. I wouldn't want to either but I would send a gift.