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mcsailorsgal

Thanks for your advice!

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-of-groom-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:80e68aea-cc20-4bb8-9203-6be44c693411Post:75f5c46f-6c02-4ac3-aefb-90e2ed0d811f">Mother of the Groom-zilla</a>:
[QUOTE]I just got engaged last weekend! YEA! So I talked to my fiancee and we decided that we wanted to do a JP ceremony this fall, because we are looking to buy a house before the holidays, and then have a nice wedding for our families in April. Well, he wanted to invite our parents and I didn't want to, but agreed anyway. The date that we decided on I KNEW his mother wouldn't be able to go to, but why do I have to change my plans for people if we are having a wedding in April? RIght? Anyway, I called her and told her and she had a cow saying how she couldn't come and why do we have to get married so early and babbling and mooing on. I was very firm (because she's a control freak about everything) saying that we didn't want to change the date because we are trying to buy a house and dont want to wait. She was like, well what about me , MOO MOO and I can't understand what her problem is. Its not like we won't e having a ceremony and wedding!! She made me so mad with her selfishness that I told her that maybe she could skype in because then she could be there without being there you know? I mean she didn't give me a reason why she couldn't - maybe if she had instead of keep saying she couldn't make it I would have acted different. Regardless, she hung up on me. She called Mac the next moring and balled her eyes out and told him she had to be there and we needed to change our plans around her schedule and she had to be there. Totally manipulating him to change our plans and hold off our date, but I dont want to ! My work will be going into Holiday blackout dates in about 1 month! HELLO SHE'S NOT THE ONE GETTING MARRIED. All I want to do is call her up and give her a piece of my mind, but that would make things worse. I feel so bad about it because I actually get along with it. DID I mention she was there when we got engaged. HELP!!!!!!
Posted by mcsailorsgal[/QUOTE]

Please be real.

[Deleted User]

Why are you JOPing now and then having a vow renewal later? Why not just wait have have the wedding after you've saved for the house?

And I don't blame her for being upset that she can't be there for her son's wedding. If you're JOPing, that is the wedding at it's kind of shitty on your part to agree to include the parents, but then pick a date that you know won't work for her.

number55

Here is the standard response you will get on TK: 

- your JP ceremony is your wedding.

- make sure you tell all your guests that you are already married and make sure that you call it a vow renewal.

- don't burn too many bridges with your in laws so early in the game.

Your wedding planning will be as stressful as you make it. If you are controling and difficult, nobody will want to be around you, which is a crappy atmosphere to have a wedding around...

BeeBee22

First of all, the JOP ceremony IS the wedding.  Other than that, I'm speechless.....

betrothed123

Oh yeah, just in case this is real I should add my advice.

1.  No one here is going to agree with you JOPing it just for the sake of being married when you buy a house, and then doing a big production later.  What you don't seem to understand is that the JOP is the wedding.  you can't have a wedding once you're already married, so the big family thing would be nothing more than a party.

2.  If you already knew your FMIL couldn't make it on that date but you picked it anyway that's a wretched biitch move on your part.

[Deleted User]

Man, the nerve of that woman wanting to see her son get married. Some people are just so selfish.

MarriedInAFever

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-of-groom-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:80e68aea-cc20-4bb8-9203-6be44c693411Post:68227ab2-e892-43a9-98d5-8cb6e6874013">Re: Mother of the Groom-zilla</a>:
[QUOTE]Here is the standard response you will get on TK:  - your JP ceremony is your wedding. - make sure you tell all your guests that you are already married and make sure that you call it a vow renewal. - <strong>don't burn too many bridges with your in laws so early in the game.</strong> Your wedding planning will be as stressful as you make it. If you are controling and difficult, nobody will want to be around you, which is a crappy atmosphere to have a wedding around...
Posted by number55[/QUOTE]

Big time this. You're the one that sounds a bit selfish I think.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-of-groom-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:80e68aea-cc20-4bb8-9203-6be44c693411Post:3e19bf8b-eada-43fd-b901-1820d45aea6d">Re: Mother of the Groom-zilla</a>:
[QUOTE]Man, the nerve of that woman wanting to see her son get married. Some people are just so selfish.
Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

Yeah. Someone shout cut her tits off and feed them to the dog.

msange727

i would love to have an argument in which the opposition started moo-ing.

SarahPLiz

You don't have to be married to buy a house together. FI and I bought a house before we were even engaged. 

Your wedding is when you get married, not 8 or so months later. 

Buy your house, plan your wedding, get married, in that order. No JOP means no mama drama. 

[Deleted User]

OP, I'm disappointed it you. I was hoping for some entertainment this morning. What a let down.

[Deleted User]

Wow, that was super fast. I didn't even get a chance to share how I bull-whipped my MIL into her proper place.

betrothed123

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-of-groom-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:80e68aea-cc20-4bb8-9203-6be44c693411Post:39b7e650-f64f-4c1e-868e-8039591c216e">Re: Mother of the Groom-zilla</a>:
[QUOTE]i would love to have an argument in which the opposition started moo-ing.
Posted by msange727[/QUOTE]
You noticed that too, huh?  I wonder if the FMIL actually mooed .  OP- are you marrying a cow?  That could be your first problem.

betrothed123

So she is real?  That's freaking awesome!

OP- Don't worry, you can't get rid of your post.  I already quoted it.

Lenore2010

I would be hella pissed if I had a son and was not going to be able to attend his wedding because of some weirdly imposed date. Also, I love vow renewals but that is what a post JOP deal is, a vow renewal not a wedding.

Good of you to thank people for the advice. It is nice when people do that instead of get angry.

[Deleted User]

Lenore, I'm pretty sure she just cut and run rather than gave a sincere thanks. She will probably keep on planning the way she wants regardless of how her FMIL feels.

betrothed123

That thank you was definitely not sincere.

MeaghanandMichael

Who wants to take bets she will write us all off as crazy bitches and do what she wants because she has convinced herself she is a good little bride and we are just MEAN? My money is on the pre-house wedding all the way!

missy68

The fact that you "quoted" her as "moo-mooing" speaks highly of both a) your maturity level and b) your future relationship with your MIL.

Good luck with that.

Lenore2010

Your assessment of the "Thank You" is probably correct. I just appreciated that she did not say something like "to hell with you bitches" or whatever after having come here and asked for advice (as we know people do!). I gotta agree though that her future MIL is being treated like crud, and it sounds like she and her FI are setting up some nasty furture family interactions. Yikes. her loss to not take this advice!

scoetto

Oh my.

Vow renewals are fine - as long as you call them that. If you elope, you deal with the consequences.

FWIW, we eloped. And had a vow renewal later.

future-mrs

Wow, I feel sorry your for your FMIL, you sound like the "moo moo" in this situation.  And it's not too often I feel bad for an in-law.

LesPaul

Wow.  You really need to reconsider getting married at all.  First, you can buy a house before your wedding.  Second, your utter disregard and disrespect for you FMIL is troubling.  You do realize that you will be tied to her for the rest of your life (or the duration of your marriage).  Starting off by complaining about her 'Mooing" and 'unrealistic' expectations of being present at the marriage of her son really doesn't bode well for your future.  Third, she's not being manipulative - you are.  Please get some therapy, grow up, and get married far in the future when you are ready for the responsiblity.

[Deleted User]

At least she didn't call it her blog.

missy68

Oh cew. You give me so many opportunities to snort, yet you hate it when I do....

baystateapple

I really am speechless.  This is the most disrespectful thing I've ever seen.

I hope your FI gets to witness the level of respect you have for his mom, and dumps your ass. 

ohwhynot

"She called Mac the next moring and balled her eyes out"

She has an interesting way of dealing with her grief.  I wish I could ball my eyes out.  Or my ass off. 

baystateapple

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_mother-of-groom-zilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:80e68aea-cc20-4bb8-9203-6be44c693411Post:5d8b80a7-8a1b-4e2d-b5b8-a7d2ae3443a0">Re:.</a>:
[QUOTE]"She called Mac the next moring and balled her eyes out" She has an interesting way of dealing with her grief.  I wish I could ball my eyes out.  Or my ass off. 
Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]

*snort*

526SadieSadie

I love that she was trying to put a distinction between "the ceremony" and "the wedding"  as if they weren't the same thing!!!

UGH.

jasmineh7777

I wonder how her FI would feel about his fiance' depicting his mother as a cow.