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child abuse

would it be considered child abuse to wash their mouth out with soap?

Also, would you ever wash your kids mouth out with soap?
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Re: child abuse

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    I think at this point in time, it could be considered abuse.

    I had it done to me once. By a babysitter. It's uh...interesting.
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    My parents did it to me. I considered it punishment,

    Now? I considering it teetering on the verge of abuse.
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    I don't know whether it would be.  Intentional poisoning if you make them swallow maybe?

    I'm not sure if I would do it.  It was always threatened to me as the punishment for foul language or hate language as a child but I never experienced it.  My cousin did.  He had to take a bit of a bar and chew it for 30 seconds before he could spit.  washed all those nasty words right out of his mouth.
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    Yeah, my parents did it to me, too.

    I'm not sure, but I wouldn't do it.   I can think of some little turds who could use some soap in their mouths though. 
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    I would think it would be gross but not necessarily poisonous.
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    My parents made us do it as punishment for calling our siblings names or being little shiits to each other. I don't think it's abuse, but it certainly isn't pleasant. We had to brush our teeth with soap to get the full effect. I wouldn't do it to my alleged future children because I think it's stupid. I'd prefer to take away a favorite toy or something instead.
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    My grandma made me do it 2 times. because I said bad words one day directed at my older cousin.
    I dont think it's abuse. I don't think i'd do it to my kids, but I think it worked.
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    I only had it happen once to me... by my dad, I think. I probably deserved to be punished.



    I don't know what's in soap... I'm sure the ingredients vary by brand, too. But if you  put any foreign objects into one of your child's orifice that you know could be hazardous to their health.... I think that's abuse. If there are poisonous ingredients in anything, please don't insert it into your child's mouth. Thank you. Just my opinion, though. :)
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    I don't think it's abuse, but it errs on the side of punishment.

    I don't agree with punishment. Discipline is one thing, punishment is another.
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    edited December 2010
    I think it depends.  Soap in the mouth a la "A Christmas Story?" Not so much abuse, but it is definitely cruel.  But pumping hand soap in your child's mouth and making them swallow it like a mother did to her children in an episode of Super Nanny is most definitely SOME form of abuse.

    And no, I would never ever do that to my child.
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    Yes to question #1, and no to question #2.
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    I do think its interesting that most people who have had it happen have only had it hapen once or twice. It seems it has a high success rate.
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    It is not actual abuse, but it comes close and simply put, I think treating kids like that on a consistent basis is part of what makes the many a-holes who litter our world. I agree that punishment sucks. Discipline, don't punish.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:e028cacd-e951-46d0-ad38-4cdfa08de7b5">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think it depends. <strong> Soap in the mouth a la "A Christmas Story?" </strong>Not so much abuse, but it is definitely cruel.  But pumping hand soap in your child's mouth and making them swallow it like a mother did to her children in an episode of Super Nanny is most definitely SOME form of abuse. And no, I would never ever do that to my child.
    Posted by gdizzle[/QUOTE]
    Thats what I was just watching which inspired this question.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:a656852b-2ea1-4954-9ad4-9e42b259af61">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think its interesting that most people who have had it happen have only had it hapen once or twice. <strong>It seems it has a high success rate.</strong>
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]



    Heh.  I'll give you that.  It only took me twice.  Then I knew to kick my dad in the balls if he came after me with the soap (kidding).
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    hahaha poor dad! I think it just teaches the kids not to swear around their parents, if anything.
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    I had it done, it didn't work. The next step was tabasco sauce on the tongue, that also backfired because I apparently liked spicy foods and didn't know it. I was bad for cursing as a child..still am. It's weird because nobody swore around me but apparently I was worse than a drunken sailor.
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    I had it done the way its done in A Christmas Story. It sucked but worked for a few weeks. When I got older I got black pepper on the tongue. That sucked. Big time. It was more successful. As a teen (and a mouthy one at that) when I would back talk and get nasty, I got a slap.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:4f070a30-03d1-4c2a-b77d-e7cdf6defeb2">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had it done the way its done in A Christmas Story. It sucked but worked for a few weeks. When I got older I got black pepper on the tongue. That sucked. Big time. It was more successful. As a teen<strong> (and a mouthy one at that)</strong> when I would back talk and get nasty, I got a slap.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
     
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    If I were a parent I wouldn't do it, but I don't consider it abuse.
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    edited December 2010

    My parents never did it to me.  I think soap has way too many chemicals (nowadays), can induce vomiting, etc. that I'd never put any in my child's mouth.  I don't believe in physically doing anything to my future kids to deter behavior.  They aren't animals and if you wouldn't do it to a dog (I wouldn't hit a dog, or put soap in a dog's mouth) I don't think it should be done to children.

    ETA: I'm very for the concept of discipline vs. punishment.  Also, anything like Tabasco sauce or black pepper on a child's tongue I consider abuse.  That can harm taste buds and burn the esophagus.  That isn't okay in any form in my book.

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    Matt's parents use to put Tabasco sauce on his tongue.

    I never had it done to me and I don't think I would do it to Ben. I don't think it's abuse, I just think I have other ways to teach Ben not to say bad words.

    By the way, the other night he said "mommy, I know what the C word is".  I was shocked. I said "well, we don't ever say it do we?" and he said "no, mommy. clim is a really bad word". I still have no idea what C word he was talking about.

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    My job is to represent children in child abuse cases, and yeah, I believe that is child abuse. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:a656852b-2ea1-4954-9ad4-9e42b259af61">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think its interesting that most people who have had it happen have only had it hapen once or twice. It seems it has a high success rate.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]
    In my case it didn't help... it only happened once because afterwards my dad tasted it and felt bad lol.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:2868b68d-3394-4f3e-97f1-a113febeff1a">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is not actual abuse, but it comes close and simply put, <strong>I think treating kids like that on a consistent basis is part of what makes the many a-holes who litter our world</strong>. I agree that punishment sucks. Discipline, don't punish.
    Posted by Lenore2010[/QUOTE]

    I think this is an interesting view considering lately all I've been hearing is how the lack of strict punishments like spanking, belting, or soap in the mouth is what is contributing to the self-entitled/a-holes of today.  Oh moderation...

    I'm not sure how I feel about soap in the mouth as abuse or just discipline. I would not do it but I also have issues with spanking which many others consider to be mainstream discipline. I just think it's difficult to draw the line between discipline and abuse and our society is trying to figure out that line right now.
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    I don't think putting a bar of soap in the mouth is abuse in and of itself.  I had it done once and to this day I don't swear in front of my mom.  It's a different story when you're talking about liquid soap, because it could be harmful to the child, but a couple of seconds with a bar of soap in your mouth isn't going to kill you unless you're allergic to something in the soap, which you would probably figure out long before you ever got to the point of putting it into a mouth.

    All that having been said, I don't have children, so I don't know whether or not I'd use this particular method.
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    edited December 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:4be26215-2f2b-4624-bd8a-8b69aa43572b">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it's abuse, but it errs on the side of punishment. I don't agree with punishment. Discipline is one thing, punishment is another.
    Posted by cupcakesfrosting[/QUOTE]

    Going off of this, I feel that soap in the mouth falls in the same category as spanking, in that they both utilize physical pain and/or discomfort (and the fear of said pain and discomfort) to modify behavior. So if you consider spanking to be abuse, then I'd think this would fall into the same category. I'm not sure where I fall on the abuse issue. I was spanked as a kid, and I haven't yet figured out whether it was helpful or not.



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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:a656852b-2ea1-4954-9ad4-9e42b259af61">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do think its interesting that most people who have had it happen have only had it hapen once or twice. It seems it has a high success rate.
    Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

    I agree. It happened to me once when I called my sister a butt head. Never called her that again.

    I don't consider it abuse unless you force the child to swallow it. But I also don't consider spanking abuse and will certainly be popping my kids on the butt if they misbehave.
     
    I think kids are little brats these days because they're parents don't dicipline them.  Ten minutes worth of time out just isn't going to cut it in some cases.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_child-abuse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:82f725ae-80aa-4b6f-8420-46d8edf994ddPost:327b1964-3bf4-43ea-b892-6dcdc37b9b1f">Re: child abuse</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: child abuse :   You? No, I don't believe it. 
    Posted by JenGin74[/QUOTE]



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    I've had it threatened to me, seen it done several times to my brother, and hell yes I would do it to my kids. I am definitely in the minority here. H's family had five boys and used hot sauce.

    Not punishing kids is what's turning them into monsters. I've taken all sorts of classes on the positive reinforcement crap and no punish styles of parenting and if it works for your kid, great, kumbaya, but some kids just don't have boundaries and don't learn them easily. I don't advocate spanking or anything, but there needs to be punishment of some kind (time outs preferably). 


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