How confrontational are you?

Girlie1030

On Sunday some jackwagon almost backed into me in a parking lot, cut it at the last second and pulled along side of me (less than 6 inches away) just to get a parking space 2 closer than the next open one.  When I ran into him in the store I said something to him - no name calling, just that he needed to be more careful and was the space really that important.  When I told H later he was not happy that I confronted the guy and was surprised I actually did it (not the norm for me). 

So do you typically let things slide or do you speak up? 

jpines22

I absolutely would have said something too!!! i probably wouldn't have even waited until I was in the store. I would have gotten out of my car right then and walked up to him. people in parking lots are absolutely nuts. they're so crazy about getting a close spot. america is overweight. i'm sure we could all afford to walk a few extra feet into the store. what a jerk!!!! ugh! i'm riled up just thinking about this! lol

anna.oskar

i speak up.  I'm kinda an asshole.   I'm going to the big grocery store shortly and undoubtedly I will tell a stranger that if their cart driving skills represent their car driving skills.. I think they should surrender their driver's license.

mmmendi

I rarely speak up if it just involves me, although FI has accused me of using a glare on strangers that stops them in their tracks. In personal situations with strangers - I am probably more passive aggressive - Sunday we took the kids to lunch at a very informal seating area. My son waited and secured a table, and then I put napkins around while he grabbed a soda. A man sat down with his daughter, as I literally turned my back to zip my purse! I turned around and looked at him and said 'Oh my, you've taken our table'. He left.

However, in work, or where our children are involved, I do not hesitate to speak up and out. I am known for my mama-bear protectiveness of my team at work, and my reputation often preceeds me with newer clients that may share account teams from clients past/present.

I am not afraid of confrontation, either. However, I am usually called on to mediate, or take the heat - not to run people over in my car (a threat I verbalized this morning in jest to a young man here over a situation we were addressing).

Ali092011

I'm one of those people who stands there in shock at someone's rudeness, then gets angry and stews over it, then thinks of the perfect thing to say long after the situation is over. For that reason, I rarely confront anyone. I wish I were more assertive.

Girlie1030

OMG an Anna pic is up!  Hi there pretty lady. 

Ali, I always think of something better to say long after it needed to be said.  I hate that. 

angelsong21

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_how-confrontational-are-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8a4d1661-d9bc-4899-bdf2-45b4e5bc8c26Post:984ce81f-2b1d-4873-a93d-0fbc3db328bd">Re: How confrontational are you?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm one of those people who stands there in shock at someone's rudeness, then gets angry and stews over it, then thinks of the perfect thing to say long after the situation is over. For that reason, I rarely confront anyone. I wish I were more assertive.
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is me too!  ughhhhhh

</div>

cnf2013

I have my assertive moments. I'll speak up on some occassions, but not all. Like when I go to Wegmans, which FI and I loving call the Old People Amusement Park, I don't say anything because everyone there makes me want to punch babies. Seriously, it's like the walking dead in that place. 

If it's something lesser, like some asshat almost hitting me because the stop sign seemingly does not apply to them, then yes, I will roll down my window and go "Umm, hullo, you had a stop sign, dumbass" from my car. 

angelstar975

I'm more or less the least confrontational person ever. I can't even listen to other people's confrontations. Unless I'm drunk... then I can tell a biiiitch exactly what I think.

rlavach

Ha, well you’re asking the snarky brides board, you know. I’d venture to say a majority on here would say something, or at least intent to. I wouldn’t. And I definitely wouldn’t if time had passed & I saw him later. 1. He probably completely forgot who you were anyway 2. I have paranoia that the guy is going to whip out a gun or knife. Stupidities like that don’t warrant me wasting my mind on them & definitely not risking anything with a psycho. 

Anysunrise

It very much depends on the severity of the incident. Forget to toast my sub when I asked for toasted? Meh, dgaf. Put your feet on the back of my chair and kick me every time you move? Yeah, I'ma ask you to put your goddamn feet down.

SunriseAmber

If it's something against me then I keep my mouth shut but if it's something against someone else then I speak up.

I don't like it when FI speaks up though or gets confrontational. You just never know about people any more. There are so many lunatics out there that can snap at any moment and you don't know if they have a weapon or whatever the case may be. I just get worried for his safety.

[Deleted User]

I'm more of a "look at my 'you're an idiot' face to see how stupid I think you are" kind of person. I don't really get confrontational since it's not usually worth the energy, so I settle for the look that pretty much tells the person how I feel.

Anna, love the sig!

achiduck

I'm pretty confrontational in a situation like that. Had we been alone in a dark parking lot without many people around I probably wouldn't have said anything.

FI says I have a pretty nasty stare when I want to. It also drives me crazy when a pedestiran will cross on a "do not cross" signal when I have an advance green for a left turn. I will yell at them for that. I know pedestrians are supposed to have the right of way, but when it says don't walk and you can see there's a line of cards waiting for the advanced green then don't f-ing walk!

baystateapple

I'm not really confrontational.  When I am, it's always a surprise even to me.  I'm not passive-aggressive (I HATE that), but I'm more likely to stew about it and let it slide than actually say something.

[Deleted User]

I would have left a nasty note on the windshield, or   keyed his car (JK!)

Starmusica

Anna- HI there pretty lady!!!

I am most definitely assertive. It drives H crazy- I always say something. I cannot help it.

kd.joseph

I'm not normally, it depends on the kind of say I've had.

H got mad last Christmas, because after running ALL day trying to finish up shopping my last errand was the grocery store. I was in the produce aisle with my cart up against me (my purse was in the front), instead of kindly asking me to move or excuse me, some guy just moved my cart away from me. I was livid and I said is something wrong with saying excuse me? He gave some weird look as I walked away, saying Merry Christmas to you too!

After I left I thought I should have told him I was Jewish.

kd.joseph

I couldnt agree more Rachers. I've been in customer service for over 25 years, and I've pretty much bit my tongue off over the years. So people that are rude to service workers for no damn reason really irk me.

mcda04

I'm defintely confrontational. Maybe because I'm second oldest in my family and I've always had that momma bear instict. I dont think you did wrong, especially because it wasn't name calling or rude, you simply addressed a safety issue. I would've done the same thing.

Girlie1030

Way to go Skids! 

Achi, had it been a dark parking lot I wouldn't have either but in the middle of the produce section on a Sunday morning I guess I felt safe enough. 

Blueyed228

Im one of those people who never has an "I wish I had said THAT".  I am super confrontational and I have a quick tongue.  Its not always a good thing, but whatever.

LiLe422

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_how-confrontational-are-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8a4d1661-d9bc-4899-bdf2-45b4e5bc8c26Post:a5f666ed-d849-4435-9f00-4f23aeb2ffd4">Re: How confrontational are you?</a>:
[QUOTE]I couldnt agree more Rachers. I've been in customer service for over 25 years, and I've pretty much bit my tongue off over the years. <strong>So people that are rude to service workers for no damn reason really irk me.</strong>
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]
Me too.  Especially when their just trying to do their job and some random douchefucker just has to be a d!ck for no reason. 
It really burns me up when people treat their food server like shiitt.  They are your server not your servant, so have some damn respect.  I used to waitress and experienced some real d!ck customers.  Andplusalso, you shouldn't really fluck with the person in charge of handling the food you are about to stuff down your throat.  Just sayin...

JenGin74

If someone does something that bothers me, I let them know immediately. My tone and choice of words depends on the severity of what they've done. I'm pretty hot headed so I always have to remind myself to keep my temper in check because I can be a huge douche when I'm pissed off.

ktwed1

For me it depends on my mood. There are days I will speak loud and clear and others days I don't think it's worth my time. More times than not I will speak my mind.

Starqueg

There's basically no point in commenting on drivers in NYC, they're all insane.  I yell in my car, but keep the windows up and glare as I go past the idiot that cut me off going 35 on the highway.  

I'm definitely one who glares and thinks up tons of nasty stuff to say later.  My FI regularly tells me I'm too nice to live in this city.

rascal17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_how-confrontational-are-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:8a4d1661-d9bc-4899-bdf2-45b4e5bc8c26Post:984ce81f-2b1d-4873-a93d-0fbc3db328bd">Re: How confrontational are you?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm one of those people who stands there in shock at someone's rudeness, then gets angry and stews over it, then thinks of the perfect thing to say long after the situation is over. For that reason, I rarely confront anyone. I wish I were more assertive.
Posted by Ali092011[/QUOTE]

<div>This is me too. FI is super assertive and has no problem speaking his mind. He is slowly rubbing off on me. So when I actually do say something I am surprised that I did. And if I do plan a confontation, I get all nervous and sometimes almost in tears. I wish I had FI confidence and not caring what others think of him attitude.</div>

willywally5

I am pretty darn confrontational when necessary. Especially if someone is messing with my kids. Or just defenseless people in general. 

The first few months after H's accident (where an idiot driving the wrong way on a one-way nearly killed him) I became some sort of crazy vigilante traffic cop. One day I followed a dumbshi!t to a parking lot after watching him run two stop signs. I went and knocked on his window and read him the farking riot act. He was pretty shocked, but was also kind of skeezy/scary. That made me think perhaps that wasn't the best idea ever as it could get me beaten, killed or somewhere in between. I have since ceased that behavior.  

allychase

The other day my FI and I were driving through our neighborhood when this girl (obviously texting) veered into our lane and we had to drive off the side of the road into someone's yard so she didn't hit us. She continued on without stopping so I told FI to turn around and follow her to get her plate. Turns out she lived in the apartment complex down the street. We pulled into the lot behind her to get her tags and I was about to jump out of the car and give her a piece of my mind when FI locked the doors cause he knows how I can be. 

So basically, i'd be way more confrontational if FI wasn't there to keep me in check. He's my better half. 

The thing that I always speak up about is when I hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you. I'm always sure to yell "you're welcome!" as they're walking away. 

Girlie1030

Wally, I can't blame you at all though. 

Several years ago I had a neighbor that liked to shoot birds in his backyard which regularly ended up in my backyard and I went rounds with him - worst being after he shot one off my patio roof.  He came to my house the next day wearing a gun, told me he knew I lived alone and that he and his cop buddies had ideas how I could be dealt with.  Of course I called the police but that incident stopped me from opening my mouth for years.  I still rarely confront anyone and when I do I try to not be a lunatic about it (I might have told that neighbor to take his smalldicked redneck games elsewhere) but sometimes you just have to speak up. 

mmmendi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_how-confrontational-are-you?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:8a4d1661-d9bc-4899-bdf2-45b4e5bc8c26Post:4edcfef1-be5b-4849-a72a-7d04002c3779">Re: How confrontational are you?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wally, I can't blame you at all though.  Several years ago I had a neighbor that liked to shoot birds in his backyard which regularly ended up in my backyard and I went rounds with him - worst being after he shot one off my patio roof.  He came to my house the next day wearing a gun, told me he knew I lived alone and that he and his cop buddies had ideas how I could be dealt with.  Of course I called the police but that incident stopped me from opening my mouth for years.  I still rarely confront anyone and when I do I try to not be a lunatic about it (I might have told that neighbor to take his smalldicked redneck games elsewhere) but sometimes you just have to speak up. 
Posted by Girlie1030[/QUOTE]



Girlie that is disturbing. I'm glad you called, and completely understand why it impacted you to not say what you might have! I have too often mouthed off to threatening men, thank goodness I have not come to harm. Thank goodness your bird-popping neighbor did not harm you!