Snarky Brides
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Why is everyone so mean?

It is my belief that nearly everyone who posts a question on The Knot boards is probably stressed out, in a tough situation, looking for an answer that makes some sort of sense.  Everyone wants their wedding to be wonderful, but of course, planning it is no fairy tale.

That said, when people who ASK questions come off as selfish or rude, I don't believe that's ever their intention.  If they knew they were being selfish or rude, obviously they wouldn't be asking a question about the matter.

So why does it seem like people always reply to such questions with comments like "REALLY?  You're really going to be that selfish?!"  Or "You are being very rude to even consider that."  WELL, THANKS.  Yes, I have received many comments like this, but I have also noticed that many, many other Knotties are answered with such harsh criticism as well.

Look, ladies.  We are all stressed out.  You may have some things figured out, but you don't know it all, either.  We are all just trying to help each other.  We aren't sisters, either, who can say mean things and then giggle about it later.  We are strangers, and I don't believe that most of you would speak like that to a stranger you just met in real life.  The internet may add some false sense of security because no one is going to reach across the screen and punch you.

Yes, people do want honest answers, but that doesn't mean you have to be so rude about it.  Just for asking questions that I felt were quite legitimate, I have ended up crying more times about the painfully harsh answers I've received on The Knot than I have about any other aspect of my wedding planning.  I'm a sensitive person, but you don't know that, because you don't know me.

Please be kind to your fellow knotties.  This isn't a battle of who is wisest, and almost no brides are TRYING to be rude, disrespectful, or inconsiderate to anyone.  We are all doing the best we can to make everyone happy... let's try not to make each other cry.
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Re: Why is everyone so mean?

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    Thanks mom.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:2c1ec3d3-c52d-4838-a29d-bbae142c2ade">Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is my belief that nearly everyone who posts a question on The Knot boards is probably stressed out, in a tough situation, looking for an answer that makes some sort of sense.  Everyone wants their wedding to be wonderful, but of course, planning it is no fairy tale. That said, when people who ASK questions come off as selfish or rude, I don't believe that's ever their intention.  If they knew they were being selfish or rude, obviously they wouldn't be asking a question about the matter. So why does it seem like people always reply to such questions with comments like "REALLY?  You're really going to be that selfish?!"  Or "You are being very rude to even consider that."  WELL, THANKS.  Yes, I have received many comments like this, but I have also noticed that many, many other Knotties are answered with such harsh criticism as well. Look, ladies.  We are all stressed out.  You may have some things figured out, but you don't know it all, either.  We are all just trying to help each other.  We aren't sisters, either, who can say mean things and then giggle about it later.  We are strangers, and I don't believe that most of you would speak like that to a stranger you just met in real life.  The internet may add some false sense of security because no one is going to reach across the screen and punch you. Yes, people do want honest answers, but that doesn't mean you have to be so rude about it.  Just for asking questions that I felt were quite legitimate, I have ended up crying more times about the painfully harsh answers I've received on The Knot than I have about any other aspect of my wedding planning.  I'm a sensitive person, but you don't know that, because you don't know me. Please be kind to your fellow knotties.  This isn't a battle of who is wisest, and almost no brides are TRYING to be rude, disrespectful, or inconsiderate to anyone.  We are all doing the best we can to make everyone happy... let's try not to make each other cry.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]

    JIC
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:2c1ec3d3-c52d-4838-a29d-bbae142c2ade">Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is my belief that nearly everyone who posts a question on The Knot boards is probably stressed out, in a tough situation, looking for an answer that makes some sort of sense.  Everyone wants their wedding to be wonderful, but of course, planning it is no fairy tale. That said, when people who ASK questions come off as selfish or rude, I don't believe that's ever their intention.  If they knew they were being selfish or rude, obviously they wouldn't be asking a question about the matter. So why does it seem like people always reply to such questions with comments like "REALLY?  You're really going to be that selfish?!"  Or "You are being very rude to even consider that."  WELL, THANKS.  Yes, I have received many comments like this, but I have also noticed that many, many other Knotties are answered with such harsh criticism as well. Look, ladies.  We are all stressed out.  You may have some things figured out, but you don't know it all, either.  We are all just trying to help each other.  We aren't sisters, either, who can say mean things and then giggle about it later.  We are strangers, and I don't believe that most of you would speak like that to a stranger you just met in real life.  The internet may add some false sense of security because no one is going to reach across the screen and punch you. Yes, people do want honest answers, but that doesn't mean you have to be so rude about it.  Just for asking questions that I felt were quite legitimate, I have ended up crying more times about the painfully harsh answers I've received on The Knot than I have about any other aspect of my wedding planning.  I'm a sensitive person, but you don't know that, because you don't know me. Please be kind to your fellow knotties.  This isn't a battle of who is wisest, and almost no brides are TRYING to be rude, disrespectful, or inconsiderate to anyone.  We are all doing the best we can to make everyone happy... <strong>let's try not to make each other cry.
    </strong>Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]

    We just try to make each other cry happy tears over here.
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    edited October 2010
    AND STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY.

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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    No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh*

    Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now.

    Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:bd7d21f1-5dc2-40f6-a423-cfd33eba47f4">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why is everyone so mean? : Speaking of panites, I saw a funny FB typo today: "All the thongs I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening."
    Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

    Ha! That made my day.
    image
    image
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now. Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]

    No one called you one. Take the V off your chest and suck it up or *points to the door*
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

    Hawaii with my best friend =)
    Photobucket
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    Um, have you not seen the giant post below about how much everyone loves each other?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now. Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]


    Where did someone call you a bitch?

    There's really no need for tears.  No one's being mean to you, and this isn't the playground. 
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now. Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]

    Are we all having the same conversation?  Or are you half here, half somewhere out there?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now. Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]

    No one called you a bitch.  But no one wants to be lectured just because you are not emotionally stable enough to be a part of a message board without it making you cry on a daily basis.

    Try weddingbee or weddingwire.com

    They are all puppies and rainbow and sunshine.

    Its just the internet.  I shouldnt be taken that seriously.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
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    I'm thinking that last post of OP's was a weak attempt at sarcasm?
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    OP:  Why on earth are you calling me mean?
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:e70bd54d-35fa-4142-92b2-3c2533dbd661">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm thinking that last post of OP's was a weak attempt at sarcasm?
    Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

    Im thinking she is just a fvcking fruit loop
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- that's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now. Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]


    Just out of curiousity, wtf did you THINK was going to happen when you rolled in here with your finger wagging do gooding bullshit and tried to tell a bunch of grown adults how you thought they needed to behave?  Were we all gong to have a "The More You Know" moment and sing kumbiya? 

    Because thats how I saw it playing out too and frankly I am SHOCKED  to see otherwise.  God, these bitches are just so mean. 

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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    It's the Internet. Sometimes when people type things it comes out wrong, just like when you speak. Not everyone is here to kiss ass either. If your idea is stupid, someone is going to tell you. Would you rather be told beforehand that you're going to look like an ass or have everyone talk crap about you afterward? A lot of meaning is lost in text because it can be interpreted in many different ways. Also, it's the Internet. What people say on here really shouldn't hurt your feelings that bad in real life that they make you cry. Turn the computer off and they go away.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:c1c6591b-7524-4a43-a0fb-1ef60f0a2d0a">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why is everyone so mean? : Are we all having the same conversation?  Or are you half here, half somewhere out there?
    Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

    Wherever we are all I say we all convene in the middle and booze it.
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    It's kind of funny that this post is happening on a night when SB is all full of vents and vulnerability and group hugs and supportiveness. Damn we are mean.
    imageimage
    Our Story MAJORLY UPDATED 8/6/09
    Wouldn't it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong?
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    Well, I'd say "hug it out bitch", but Michael Scott told me that doesn't translate for women.  (please tell me someone gets this reference).
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:15a2a406-e7c0-42cc-9a0a-09f0228b68cf">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's kind of funny that this post is happening on a night when SB is all full of vents and vulnerability and group hugs and supportiveness.<strong> Damn we are mean.</strong>
    Posted by sarah0725[/QUOTE]

    WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN?????!! STOP BEING MEAN.

    image

    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
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    I like it when you all are mean.  But only if you smack my azz and pull my hair.

    Cause Im weird like that.
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:ddf04fc1-c512-46a1-b4aa-7119049aad69">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I like it when you all are mean.  But only if you smack my azz and pull my hair. Cause Im weird like that.
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
    I thought that was the normal shiit.
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    edited October 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:6c88a4c6-5962-4fcc-8a55-16c29a9d6dc2">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, no, no, I'm trying NOT to be a bitch!  Seriously, in real life, no one has ever, ever called me a bitch.  Am I a bitch for saying that?  *sigh* Anyway, the only reason I do post on these boards is because I don't know where else to go when I need answers.  I guess I should learn -- t<strong>hat's what bridesmaids are for.  Maybe I'll go call my real friends now.</strong> Crap, I'm about to cry again.
    Posted by hanson2B[/QUOTE]


    Sorry. I call MUD. This is absolutely ridiculous.

    I don't know what it is that you haven't already consulted your BM's about, but I guess they'll be so much "NICER" than us.  Since they are your REAL friends and all.
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    Hanson, I like that you imply that we are your fake friends.

    That gave me warm and fuzzies.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:fbaf69cc-1a3f-41f2-a821-c4b785518a70">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I'd say "hug it out bitch", but Michael Scott told me that doesn't translate for women.<strong>  (please tell me someone gets this reference).</strong>
    Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]

    I totally do.   : )
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    Why is it always the people who are being selfish and rude that point out how mean it is to tell them that they are being selfish and rude?
    045_45-1 photo 045_45-1.jpg
    BabyFruit Ticker
    DX: PCOS/Recurrent losses/MTHFR mutation (compound hetero)
    5 hysteroscopies/2 surgical
    3 Inject IUIs = 2 m/c's and 1 BFN
    IVF #1= BFP. m/c at 7w6d. Needed 2 D&C's and scar tissue removal. Mild OHSS
    IVF #2 = BFP. Severe OHSS. 4 Drainings. TWINS!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:b1b1d0f4-ed10-44c6-ae7e-3ef0faef50a6">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why is everyone so mean? : Wherever we are all I say we all convene in the middle and booze it.
    Posted by JennaV26[/QUOTE]

    Cheers, Jenna!
    image
    image
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    I know I'm pimping out too many bluntcards in one day, but I wish I could use this one in a convo.





    And, LTZ, I should have known you'd get it.  I mean, stop trying to make me cry, you bitch!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:e38b4c30-7893-469f-92ea-0638971e3fd8">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why is everyone so mean? : Im thinking she is just a fvcking fruit loop
    Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]
    haha. Is it weird I read that as "ffvv ucking"  I know the V is supposed to be a U, but I still read it with the V...
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_everyone-mean?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:9089e23e-5ac6-49b7-a753-9d13780135bePost:fbaf69cc-1a3f-41f2-a821-c4b785518a70">Re: Why is everyone so mean?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I'd say "hug it out bitch", but Michael Scott told me that doesn't translate for women.  (please tell me someone gets this reference).
    Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]
    AGH I luv u.
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