It is my belief that nearly everyone who posts a question on The Knot boards is probably stressed out, in a tough situation, looking for an answer that makes some sort of sense. Everyone wants their wedding to be wonderful, but of course, planning it is no fairy tale.
That said, when people who ASK questions come off as selfish or rude, I don't believe that's ever their intention. If they knew they were being selfish or rude, obviously they wouldn't be asking a question about the matter.
So why does it seem like people always reply to such questions with comments like "REALLY? You're really going to be that selfish?!" Or "You are being very rude to even consider that." WELL, THANKS. Yes, I have received many comments like this, but I have also noticed that many, many other Knotties are answered with such harsh criticism as well.
Look, ladies. We are all stressed out. You may have some things figured out, but you don't know it all, either. We are all just trying to help each other. We aren't sisters, either, who can say mean things and then giggle about it later. We are strangers, and I don't believe that most of you would speak like that to a stranger you just met in real life. The internet may add some false sense of security because no one is going to reach across the screen and punch you.
Yes, people do want honest answers, but that doesn't mean you have to be so rude about it. Just for asking questions that I felt were quite legitimate, I have ended up crying more times about the painfully harsh answers I've received on The Knot than I have about any other aspect of my wedding planning. I'm a sensitive person, but you don't know that, because you don't know me.
Please be kind to your fellow knotties. This isn't a battle of who is wisest, and almost no brides are TRYING to be rude, disrespectful, or inconsiderate to anyone. We are all doing the best we can to make everyone happy... let's try not to make each other cry.