Atheists in church?

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_atheists-in-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:956710e8-cb5b-4d1e-8bdb-33d531034da6Post:71188146-37a2-4b57-8e5e-3d846b5ec5dd">Re: Atheists in church?</a>:
[QUOTE]Try looking into UU churches (Unitarian Universalist). They welcome all beliefs, usually you do not need to be a member/convert, and are very open.<strong> Basically they just believe that there is a God </strong>and its up to each person to reach/commune/etc. with that being in any way that works for them. Very unstructured and might resonate well with your agnostic/atheist beliefs... 
Posted by eureka30030[/QUOTE]

<div>Excuse me, but why the hell would you go to a church if you don't believe in God when the church BELIEVES IN GOD.  Maybe I'm still hungover from Saturday but I don't get it.</div>

juliaovidia

My FI an I are both atheist, so no religious ceremony or mention of "God." BUT, we do like the traditions and aethsetic associated with a church ceremony (ie. walking down the aisle in a beautoful windowed venue) - SO, I found a chirch from the 1800's that is no longer a church. It has that church feeling (big windows, wooden beams, general je ne sais quois), but has no religious affiliation and so does not offend our sensibilities or those of potential church members. 

Historic  or heritage buildings tend to have the same feeling to them - soaked in tradition and history: A feeling that seems to inherantly come along with churches. 

This all being said - the ceremony is a huge part of your wedding - in fact it IS the wedding. You and your FI should have a serious conversation about this and how you'll handle other milestones in yourlives often marked by religious cerwemony. If he's atheist, he should have major qualms with "God" being present in his life, and if you're intent of including "God" this could cause issue for the both of you. 

Lambbop

This might open a can of worms but I think it needs to be said:

OP, you had mentioned wanting to know more about religion. I don't know if you were sincere about that or not, but I want to warn you that if you ever hope to gain more understanding into your religion--be it Lutheran or any other sect of Christianity... marrrying an athiest is NOT going to help you. The Bible warns against couples being "unevenly yoked" in that a nonbeliever can pull a believer down and away from GOD. It will be especially difficult for you to learn about GOD if your life partner keeps shooting the idea down. (Though he may be the type to respect your beliefs though, I don't know.)

You say you don't know much about the Bible, but you can certainly read it. Every hotel room has one. There are many different translations. The New Living Transation is probably the simplest to understand if you're not into the "thees and thous" of the King James version. 

I would seriously consider how much a part of your life you want GOD to be before committing to a life with someone who is an athiest. Especially since GOD is the center of marriage for couples who ARE religious.

Obviously you are an adult and can do what you want... but this is something you may want to consider.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Lamb - that is precisely why my home church and pastor doesn't marry Christians to atheists.

HOWEVER.  I have seen a Christian bring their atheist SO to the "other side," too.  So it can happen.

ricksang

Yeah I couldn't be married to a Christian.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

I couldn't be married to an atheist either, Ricks.  And it's not like I can't have atheist friends or whatever, but I feel like, if you're going to share your life with someone, beliefs like that - hopefully you're on the same page.  Or at least CLOSE to the same page.  What I believe is how I shape many of my decisions, and I want my kids to grow up going to church.  It would be hard to take them to church when one parent stays home.

Obviously, some couples make it work, and that's fine for them.  I'm just not someone who could do it.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_atheists-in-church?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:956710e8-cb5b-4d1e-8bdb-33d531034da6Post:9f5a77b5-bde1-47cd-80cb-e7186d5fc950">Re: Atheists in church?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Atheists in church? : ...what if your belief is "God doesn't exist"?
Posted by Steph+J[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I'm not getting married in a UU church but I am getting married by a UU minister. The officiant never asked us anything about our religious beliefs at all, but we did make it clear that we wanted a completely non-religious ceremony, and she was okay with that (so as far as she knows, we're both atheists, and that didn't faze her at all). </div><div>
</div><div>I also agree that getting married in a church when you don't believe in what the church teaches/stands for is really disrespectful and doesn't really make much sense. I won't even let my best friend throw my bridal shower in a church because I'm not religious. I don't want a party thrown  in my honor held in a church because of my own personal beliefs and because I think that it's disrespectful to the church. </div>

specialk84

I'm way late to this, but H and I got married in the UU church we've attended for years. UU churches are very open, and most are willing to marry nonmembers (though they'll charge a much higher fee).

Many UUs do not believe in God in any form. Others, like H and me, believe in a higher power, though it is different than the way Christians view God. Others still believe in a Christian God. I was raised Catholic, and H was raised Pentecostal.

Though I don't understand why anyone would want to get married in a church if they don't believe in any of the tenants of that faith, and if they aren't members, you may be able to do it in a UU church. 

http://www.uua.org/beliefs/principles/index.shtml

SHarrison2112

There are alternative venues that have a "church" like feel to them that you are looking for. This might be more suitable since you are both not religious, it might just take some extra searching to find it. Good luck! I hope you find something!