College, sorta...

HoonahGrace

So during my senior year of HS, I applied, was accepted and enrolled to a college in Colorado (I'm from Alaska). I was so excidted, so was my boyfriend (now fiance). We spent the summer working and saving up, and I was looking forward to college. But as the weeks drew closer to leaving time, I was unsure about my decision. After talking over with Mark, I realized I'm not ready for college. Not ready like, smart wise, but I wasn't ready to leave Alaska, I wan't ready to leave the island I grew up on. It's not like I didn't feel "grown up" enough, just not college ready. So I'm still living on the home island, working, and I am happy with that for now. I plan on going North and staying in state for school, while the fiance finishes his last year of school up north.
But here's my other problem, in the last two years, people (even the finace's parents) keep pushing me to school, saying I need to go to school, and so on. They tell me that it wasn't hard for them to get into school and pay for it and live during college. Mark's parents went to college in the '60s! His mother was handed scholarships, and so was his dad! They lived in an apartment that cost $95 a month! I keep trying to tell them that this is not 1964 and that I don't have scholarships being thrown at me! And also, I don't want to go to college because OTHER PEOPLE want me to. I want to go because I want to and when I am able to (financially, job wise...)
Has anyone else had something like this? Or any advise?

Blueyed228

I dont remember what I was doing when I was 18, sorry.  I did go to college though.  And worked full time.

lbarr088

My advice is go when you feel ready.  If you go before then you wont get everything out of the experience that you should and honestly you probably wont be all to focused.  Everyone may have their opinion on what you should do but ultimately they aren't the ones who will be taking classes and paying for everything.  

I constantly hear my grandfather say that I should be in grad school yadda yadda and at this point it isn't doable.  I will go back when it is doable.  As long as you make that promise to yourself I think you are just fine.  Also, if taking some classes part time at a CC is an option for you, you could do that and get some of your general education requirements out of the way.

Best of luck!

kd.joseph

I'm a true believer in college is not for everyone. How old are you now? Taking a year or so to decide for sure isnt going to hurt anyone right now.

And if you decide to go, as Blue said, plenty of people in this world work AND go to college. It can be done. So, in the end this is about what you want to do and when you feel ready to do it. If you let people push you, you will be miserable.

ErinG93

My H didn't go to college. He wishes more than anything he would have. I think you need to do what feels right, but you may end up regretting it. I might compromise and try and take a class or two at a community college for 'fun.' 

Edit: I work 25-ish hours a week and go to school full time. I'm really glad I that I do, and working while in school is do-able. I also believe that college isn't for everyone. Maybe you want to go to trade school for something?

Blueyed228

Also- please dont get married at 18. 

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:2798ad9a-1069-4c3e-8ad5-4e119585488a">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]My H didn't go to college. He wishes more than anything he would have. I think you need to do what feels right, but you may end up regretting it. I might compromise and try and take a class or two at a community college for 'fun.'  Edit: I work 25-ish hours a week and go to school full time. I'm really glad I that I do, and working while in school is do-able. I also believe that college isn't for everyone.<strong> Maybe you want to go to trade school for something?
</strong>Posted by ErinG93[/QUOTE]

This is what I was thinking as well.

And Ditto Blue!

adamar15

If you're not ready, don't go.  I'm kind of glad I waited to go to school.  I don't think I would have taken it seriously enough if I went right after high school.  I do kick myself for losing my scholarship, though.

celticmyss

Each person is different but delaying college was an excellent choice for me. 

I lived on my own and worked part-time my senior year of high school. After graduation I started working at Whole Foods full time and I continued doing that for almost 2 years before deciding to go to college. I started college 2 and a half years after graduating.

For me this was by far the best thing I could have done. I loved college and basically got straight As. Taking that time off and working in retail really made me realize that was not what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. When I got to college I not only had the motivation to succeed but I also had a better idea of what I wanted out of life. 

It also gave me a few years to be moderately irresponsible and have fun before starting college. By the time I got there I was old enough to drink so it was no big deal. I had fun in college but I didn't "party" by most people's standards and was able to focus on school and working part time. 

Anysunrise

While I'm a firm believer in continuing education, if you don't want to be there, you're not going to do well. I put it off for 4 years while I was moving countries, but I am so excited to start this fall, which I definitely was not right after high school. 

As for the financial stuff, I'm having 80% of my tuition and fees paid for just for applying with a good ACT score. Sometimes, they really are thrown at you.

SilverLining1

I guess it would depend on what you want to do. If you want a job that requires four years of college (and most of them do, unfortunately), then I would go sooner rather than later. If not, or if you're not sure, maybe try some classes at a community college and see what you're into. I went to college without any idea what I wanted to do, and I'm paying for it now, during my last two years.

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Tell those people that your education is none of their business.

Hell, I went to college and got a job six months after graduation in a field I studied for and my own mother will still push me in other career directions.  "Oh, you should go to school for this" or "You should get a job doing that."  I just ignore her, because ffs, I did the college thing, my loans are paid and I'm working.  Live your own life, ho.

[Deleted User]

I think if you're truly not ready for college, then it's beneficial to wait, figure out what you want to do for the rest of your life. It would be a waste of your time and money to go and not know what your focus is. People need to realize that going to college right out of high school isn't the best option for everyone.

But if you're not ready to leave home (your post kind of implies both and is contradicting), then I think you should go. You have to leave home at some point, otherwise you'll never go anywhere. I wasn't ready to leave my hometown either, but sometimes you just have to take that risk.

angelstar975

Definitely do NOT go to college just because other people want you to. My senior year of high school, I applied to colleges kicking and screaming because I didn't want to go. I only applied to 3, I think, because that's all my mom was able to force me into. I told my parents time and time again that I didn't want to go. They made me go anyway and I did horribly. I got a .59 GPA my first semester (yep, that's possible) because I partied all the time and rarely attended class... I think I accumulated 36 credits in my first 2 1/2 years. I simply wasn't ready... I was too immature. I ended up taking some time off, and then going back. I should finally graduate this fall... 8.5 years after I started. Also, since it sounds like money is a factor, don't take on more than you can handle. I'm working full time and trying to do school full time and while some people do just fine with it, I've had a lot of trouble. Maybe you could even start out going part time when you do feel like you're ready.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:2cdcddc1-831d-4884-8785-f0ae10d0e98e">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]Tell those people that your education is none of their business. Hell, I went to college and got a job six months after graduation in a field I studied for and my own mother will still push me in other career directions.  "Oh, you should go to school for this" or "You should get a job doing that."  I just ignore her, because ffs, I did the college thing, my loans are paid and I'm working.<strong>  Live your own life, ho.
</strong>Posted by AllAboutTheBenjamin[/QUOTE]

Have I told you lately that I love you?! ;)

ricksang

I went when I was 18, dropped out and received all withdraw fails b/c I dropped after the deadline. I had to make all those classes up too, to get the WFs replaced. I then continued to go to college and jump from major to major. I only figured out what I really wanted to do when I was 31, I am 35 now and now I am actually starting my career in nutrition. I have a lot of school debt b/c of indecision.When you do decide to go back to school talk to a career counselor and to someone about school debt. I wish I would have done this!

Go to school ON YOUR TIME. Also, people don't have to go to college to be successful. My husband didn't and he makes damn good money although he hates his job lol.

HoonahGrace

I have considered trade school, and there a JobCorp near the campus my fiance will be attending up north. I have also tried appling for part-time classes last fall, and that was a big fail. Classes were full or I had to take placement testing for the open classes. The problem with that though, was that the learning center wouldn't e-mail me back, didn't return my calls, and it wasn't until 2 days before the semester started that I received my acceptance letter. That kinda ruined the classes thing for me.

And for the record, what age I get married at is not related to this thread and it's really none of your concern.

ErinG93

It sounds like your mind is made up. You sound like you have no desire to go to school, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You might regret it, you might not. I certainly wouldn't go to school because somebody else wanted me to go. Good luck.

dragontrainer

Although I am crazy about higher education, it isn't for everyone. I grew up with parents who continued their education right out of high school. (My dad PhD and my mom a masters) - so I knew I wanted to keep going to school because I loved it and my parents were supportive in my decisions. My sister on the otherhand HATED college. She barely made it through high school and at one point wanted to drop out of college. She did graduate but it was rough for her for those five years.

After I graduated from my undergrad, I knew I wanted to get into a Master's program but I didn't feel like I was ready because I didn't know what program I wanted to go into. It was between two fields. I spent two years deciding which field, researching schools,etc. Now, I find out if I got in THIS month.

My advice: Go when you're ready. I do recommend taking GE courses at a community college and make sure they are transferable to a university that you are thinking about attending in the future. (I can't tell you  how many of my transfer students had to take the same class again). Also, look into financial aid.

Bkseller13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:0f054db9-6c84-4a69-90af-fe517244226a">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have considered trade school, and there a JobCorp near the campus my fiance will be attending up north. I have also tried appling for part-time classes last fall, and that was a big fail. Classes were full or I had to take placement testing for the open classes. The problem with that though, was that the learning center wouldn't e-mail me back, didn't return my calls, and it wasn't until 2 days before the semester started that I received my acceptance letter. That kinda ruined the classes thing for me. And for the record, what age I get married at is not related to this thread and it's really none of your concern.
Posted by HoonahGrace[/QUOTE]

You seem like you don't know really what you want.  Perhaps you should try living on your own, whether at college or not and figure out who you are before you get married.  The sense I get from your post is that it's not that you don't want to go to college (you talked about going up north where your FI is going) but you don't want to go to college away from your FI.  I'm with Blue...

Blueyed228

Yeah you are right. Having no idea what or where you want to go in your life at 18 and getting married at 18 are totally unrelated. My bad boo. Go get yours.

celticmyss

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:a4cff129-b3b8-49f7-9345-56e2752adab2">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah you are right. Having no idea what or where you want to go in your life at 18 and getting married at 18 are totally unrelated. My bad boo. Go get yours.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

<div>I <3 you.</div><div>
</div><div>I forgot to mention in my earlier post that I was actually (lol)engaged my senior year of high school and for some of the time between high school and college. He wasn't the reason I didn't go but he didn't help. I still stand by putting college off being a great decision, but not getting married was an even better one.</div><div>
</div><div>I can only speak to my own horrid relationship but I can think of very few marriages that started that young that were a good idea. There's no reason to rush, if it's the right decision now it will be the right one in a few years when you have a better idea of what you truly want out of life. </div>

whitsy

Personally, I'm a huge fan of some sort of higher education. Trade school, an associate's degree, something. College costs are only going to rise, and if you think you will at some point go to school, go ahead and do your basics. But if you are happy with working and not dealing with school, I would do what bk suggested and live on your own for a while. It's a good way to find your own footing.

Also, you HAVE to be on top of things with school. So what if you got your acceptance letter two days before? Sign up for an online class, e-mail a professor to get into a class, be proactive! 

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:22f39b33-7893-4a79-8072-d1ecec6ecd4b">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: College, sorta... : You seem like you don't know really what you want.  Perhaps you should try living on your own, whether at college or not and figure out who you are before you get married.  The sense I get from your post is that it's not that you don't want to go to college <strong>(you talked about going up north where your FI is going)</strong> but you don't want to go to college away from your FI.  I'm with Blue...
Posted by Bkseller13[/QUOTE]

<div>How is that relevant? She didn't say she was going to school up north.</div>

pixiedust84

I agree with PPs - to get the most out of college you need to be ready. So wait until then. I also agree with Blue, it's not even so much an age thing but you just sound like you sort of still want to be a kid. Which is fine! You are 18! Some 18 year olds are living on their own, working, etc. so I wouldnt even say you arent ready to get married based on your age. Id say it based on what you seem to want. You don't want to leave home, won't you need to leave home when you get married? I know it isn't the question you asked but I'd be concerned for you if you got married soon. Hopefully you are planning a long engagement.

Blueyed228

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:8656effe-878e-47a6-b0f9-56578f99c06b">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PPs - to get the most out of college you need to be ready. So wait until then. I also agree with Blue, it's not even so much an age thing but you just sound like you sort of still want to be a kid. Which is fine! You are 18! Some 18 year olds are living on their own, working, etc. so I wouldnt even say you arent ready to get married based on your age. Id say it based on what you seem to want. You don't want to leave home, won't you need to leave home when you get married? I know it isn't the question you asked but I'd be concerned for you if you got married soon. Hopefully you are planning a long engagement.
Posted by pixiedust84[/QUOTE]

But its NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS PIXIE

pixiedust84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_college-sorta?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:c47d5b00-07f5-466d-9373-adf5dbe7a821Post:d9b55480-dff4-4a20-a6ad-65fd1675b279">Re: College, sorta...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: College, sorta... : But its NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS PIXIE
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]



Everything is my business Blue!! Obvi.

Blueyed228

brandichamberlain

OP- I graduated high school and went off to college because it was what everyone said would be best.  I decided I was 'too burnt out' from high school and dropped out (with the help of my 'awesome, love of my life, never going to leave him' boyfriend).  Now several years later I am back in school, as a junior, and I have had to do it while working full time. Oh, and no, that bf is no where to be found. I worked very hard the first two years at a community college for a scholarship, so although it wasn't thrown at me, they're possible. Plus, all you have to do is a little research. There are hundreds of scholarships out there for a variety of things. Yes, you'll have to write some essays and apply, but you have just as much of a chance as anyone else to get one.   If I could go back, I would have stuck it out when I was younger and some of the material was still fresh. You don't have to know what kind of path you want to take for about two years while you take your Gen. Ed. classes. 

FWIW, everyone here is right about getting married young.  I am younger than most here and even I have changed immensley since high school/my late teens.  

pixiedust84

Bahaha. Oh Fresh Prince... When I fell in love with Will Smith. I mean look at how hot he is with the flat top and necklace.

HoonahGrace

Well since everyone seems to be stuck on the age thing, I am looking at my parents example of marriage. My mom was 19 when she got married and they were happily married, until death did them part. And I never said I'm still living at home. I'm living in my town on my own.