honeymoon funds

Jelenny

ok...had to ask if i missed something

over this weekend/today there have been posts about honeymoon funds - basically people wanting to set up a box for cash...WTH

was there an article or something that actually suggested this that all of a sudden everyone is asking how to do this, where to do this, etc?

i mean a card box is one thing but to have a box for the honeymoon fund....i dont get it

MarriedInAFever

Ack, it may be a new trend. But I think most people in Knotland think it's a bit tacky to suggest others help fund your honeymoon.

K Byte

I think it's a new trend. It makes me cringe a little bit though, I'll be honest ...

Jelenny

i mean honestly if we needed it (ours is a generous gift from the parents) wouldn't people just use money they receive from the wedding in general for that?

oh i also saw a "house fund" post to ask guests for money to put down on a house...

jasmineh7777

I feel like I've seen this suggestion on the knot somewhere, but I lack the sleuthing skills to back that up.

Jelenny

here is the new house fund post
http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_wedding-card-boxes

Jelenny

and here is the honeymoon fund post  (well one of them)
http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_diy_honeymoond-fund-box

[Deleted User]

I'd never heard of a HM registry or fund box before the Knot. And while I would love for someone to help pay a down payment on a house, I would never ever ask for that at my wedding (or any other time, for that matter).

We had a card box, but only because my MOH and her mom bought it as a gift and I didn't want to hurt their feelings. I think they called it a wishing well. It was pretty, a little foo-fooey but it served it's purpose.

jasmineh7777

CS- I don't understand that attitude at all either. I think at least some of it has to do with socioeconomic class though. If you are worried that your parents won't be able to pay the bills, you probably aren't asking for a new car.

katiewhompus

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:b95642bd-0891-4c5f-93f6-6631b13094a8">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]Sooooo, I can't imagine when some of these self-entitled teenagers get married in 5-10 years.  My sister is probably going to be a nightmare. She already thinks she deserves a MINI Cooper convertible for her 16th birthday! I swear, some of the teenagers nowadays think they deserve every penny and dime...ME, ME, ME...it's all about ME! I'm sick and tired of seeing it. It's disgusting.
Posted by Champagne Supernova[/QUOTE]

My 4 year old niece (who I love an adore) is already going through this CS. For her birthday she probably got a good $500 worth of toys, then when we went to Wal-Mart to run errands the next day she starts throwing a major hissy fit because I won't let Scott buy her another $50 in Barbie stuff (her mom said no as well).
Then yesterday they came over to visit and she goes "Uncle, this house is not big enough for me to play in. You needed to buy a bigger house for me."

Ok princess.

Jelenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:6b6ddfe4-72ac-4a1a-834d-b9a8faeb0651">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon funds : My 4 year old niece (who I love an adore) is already going through this CS. For her birthday she probably got a good $500 worth of toys, then when we went to Wal-Mart to run errands the next day she starts throwing a major hissy fit because I won't let Scott buy her another $50 in Barbie stuff (her mom said no as well). Then yesterday they came over to visit and she goes "Uncle, this house is not big enough for me to play in. You needed to buy a bigger house for me." Ok princess.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]

yikes!

it's funny thought my brother is like that he feels he derserves only the best and we have the same parents, i volunteer and donate, and don't EXPECT anything and am appreciative of what i do get

katiewhompus

Yeah, her mom had a very long talk with her about being appreciative of what people give her, and that she should be thankful that she gets to visit our house at all and if she criticizes it she won't be able to again.

The scary thing is she is just like her dad. I love him dearly too, but my god is that guy entitled. New cars every year (last one was a high end Jeep), expensive presents for holidays, etc. She is definitely getting a BMW or something crazy for her 16th birthday.

mrscarter052011

I think my favorite part of that other thread is where the OP refers to it as "donation".  Ummmm, are they giving receipts for tax write-offs?  Maybe in other places this is acceptable? But, I'm really hoping that no one tells me this is acceptable. 

jasmineh7777

Yeah, my parents didn't have money when I was growing up either. But because of that, I remember any time we got to do something special. Like, I remember one day when we got to go to Pizza Hut for dinner, because it was the coolest thing ever.

If I were to have kids, I'd be the same way.

katiewhompus

My kids will definitely earn their treats. Both of my parents are teachers so we always had the basics, but vacations weren't yearly and I definitely didn't get everything I wanted. Normally when we would go shopping mom would give me a $1 or $5 bill and that was all I had to spend. I also had the option of spending it that day or keeping it until later.  I learned early on that you don't always get what you want and still remember how incredibly proud I was when I bought my first car, all by myself, at the age of 20. It was a VW Passat and I felt so adult that day.

jennylove810

Sometimes I read all this shiz.. 'honeymoon funds' and 'mortgage registries' and dollar dances and all I can think is how much it sucks to know better cause tacky as it is, you just KNOW those girls are making bank lol.

carrieoz_76

Wait, so is this like a tip jar?  Gawd, when does it end.

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:b3852a40-7f11-4ddc-943e-be71fc825493">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]Sometimes I read all this shiz.. 'honeymoon funds' and 'mortgage registries' and dollar dances and all I can think is how much it sucks to know better cause tacky as it is, you just KNOW those girls are making bank lol.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

Exactly.

Sing2phins

The MOB who posted the house fund one chastised a poster who said it's rude to ask for cash by saying "it's not as if they're asking for cash," which . . . I just totally don't get.  I mean, I suppose she thinks that because her DD and FSIL are asking for the money to be used for a particular purpose that it's not asking for cash, but, um, it is.  Right?

Jelenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:1095bce7-d6de-4f60-bad4-2f76391d13d0">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]The MOB who posted the house fund one chastised a poster who said it's rude to ask for cash by saying "it's not as if they're asking for cash," which . . . I just totally don't get.  I mean, I suppose she thinks that because her DD and FSIL are asking for the money to be used for a particular purpose that it's not asking for cash, but, um, it is.  Right?
Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

it's not MONEY but rather a "down payment" therefore TOTALLY justified...riiiiiiiiight

i just dont get why couples wouldn't just use money from their cards towards things they want - like a honeymoon, like a down payment, like a larger gift - why specifically ask?

mrscarter052011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:1095bce7-d6de-4f60-bad4-2f76391d13d0">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]The MOB who posted the house fund one chastised a poster who said it's rude to ask for cash by saying "it's not as if they're asking for cash," which . . . I just totally don't get.  I mean, I suppose she thinks that because her DD and FSIL are asking for the money to be used for a particular purpose that it's not asking for cash, but, um, it is.  Right?
Posted by Sing2phins[/QUOTE]

You're right.  Also, if the family is so supportive of this then wouldn't they be already be giving monetary gifts in the cards and there would be no need to call it a "donation to a fund"? 

We're buying a house before we get married so we will be registering somehwere like Lowe's because we will be doing some (ok, alot) of work and all of family knows this but I would still be mortified if my mother or anyone put somehing even mentioning contributing to a fund on even a shower invite.

Jelenny

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:3ac35797-f698-4614-b112-db80e50ec0a7">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon funds : You're right.  Also, if the family is so supportive of this then wouldn't they be already be giving monetary gifts in the cards and there would be no need to call it a "donation to a fund"?  We're buying a house before we get married so we will be registering somehwere like Lowe's because we will be doing some (ok, alot) of work and all of family knows this but I would still be mortified if my mother or anyone put somehing even mentioning contributing to a fund on even a shower invite.
Posted by mrscarter052011[/QUOTE]

one of my friends just did this they got a house right before their wedding so they had a hardware themed joint shower - and had asked for things for the house (shovel, garden hose, ladder, hammer, etc)....the bridal party chipped in and got them a mower....honestly it was pretty cute

mrscarter052011

And... I really want to hear from someone who has done this or knows someone who has done this and can explain where/when this is not tacky.

Knottie1435582995

Ugh, well at least this isn't as bad as the invitation I got a couple weeks ago.  My cousin is getting married (her second marriage) and she literally put in the invite that she wanted "cash donations" to go toward her honeymoon and house renovations.  When I asked her WTF she was thinking when she put that in the invite, she told me it's because in the divorce she basically got all the household items, so she doesn't need anymore (btw, she was only married 1 year), and she didn't know what else to ask for.

How about NOTHING???  Since I already gave you a wedding present 2 years ago.  And how about you DO NOT put gift requests in your invite! 

I'll pee my pants if she has a "home fund" or "honeymoon fund" box at her wedding. 

mrscarter052011

ON THE INVITATION?!? Unreal.  Atleast if it was the MOB or MOG arranging such tackiness, the bride could always say "I had no idea" but to put it in the invite is beyond tacky. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_honeymoon-funds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f0e863f4-ca08-41c2-ad2d-6e7a1aa1fc62Post:b3852a40-7f11-4ddc-943e-be71fc825493">Re: honeymoon funds</a>:
[QUOTE]Sometimes I read all this shiz.. 'honeymoon funds' and 'mortgage registries' and dollar dances and all I can think is how much it sucks to know better cause tacky as it is, you just KNOW those girls are making bank lol.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

Ha! Seriously, sometimes I wish I didn't know/didn't care what others thought of me.

Blueyed228

Everytime I see things like this I want to puke.

Since when did wedding become fundraisers for your life?  What ever happened to working hard, saving up, and paying for things yourself?

Granted my parents are giving us some money for our wedding (about 25%), but we never asked for it, tried to turn it down, and are paying for the rest ourselves.  We work hard for what we have and would never ask for a handout from friends and family. 

The entitlement that exists today is so gross.

[Deleted User]

I do not agree with asking for donations  as it has been put.
However what I think is an awesome idea is an Honeymoon registry! I know a few people who have done it so far and it has been successful. Sandals offers one. I think its great because people know you will probably recieve the usualy house hold appliances, and since so many couples now pay for their own wedding, they dont take a honeymoon so it is something unique and memorable for the couple if someone contributes towards that great occasion.