August 2012 Weddings

Honoring grandparents who can't be at wedding?

I've been thinking recently about doing something to honor both my FI's and my grandparents at our wedding. All of my FI's grandparents have passed away and all except for one have passed away on my side. My only living grandparent has been suffering from dementia these past few years and won't be attending our wedding (I actually haven't seen her inn a while because it would upset her...seeing my father-her son- upsets her because she doesn't recognize him.) 

After my grandfather passed away late last month and my mother was showing me old pictures of him and my grandmother, who passed away last year, I thought about maybe doing something where I have old pictures of both our sets of grandparents with maybe a vase of flowers or a candle. I mentioned it to my mother, who's in Seattle for Gung Gung's memorial service this weekend, and she really loved the idea. 

It's not a complete memorial because Abuela is still alive but not attending and I'd just like to honor everyone. Without them, there wouldn't be "us" and I want to remember that. We plan to include them in our intercessions during the ceremony but I want to do something more visual and tangible. I love that they were all together until "death did they part" and I want to include the old pictures and I'd just feel like they're present somehow. I'm not too sure about the execution of this and wondered if anyone else was planning something similar. 
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Re: Honoring grandparents who can't be at wedding?

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    My grandmother won't be able to make it for the same reasons.  I am wearing some family heirlooms from her to celebrate/to be in honor of her, as I felt that flowers or something would be super awkward.
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    My grandmother died this past November and my grandpa followed 5 short months later this month.  I am doing a table for them with a picture of them at their wedding and then another picture of them later in life.  I also want to include some kind of memorial candle.  Their memorial table will be placed somewhere to where if people want to look at it they can but they don't have to in case it is too painful of a reminder. We will also include something in the program.  Both my sets of grandparents are dead except my grandmother on my moms side who as well suffers from Alzheimer's.  So I understand exactly where you are coming from.  I have heard of people putting their grandparents wedding rings on their bouquet or leaving a seat empty in honor of where they should have sat at the wedding.  I'd be cautious of the later because if people don't expect it that can be a painful reminder.  I also think I am going to do a picture charm of both sets of grandparents (see link below) to put on my bouquet to keep them "close to my heart" as I walk down the aisle.  I want to remember their commitment to each other and carry that into my marriage.  There are a lot of different things you can do.  I hope this helps!

    image213 Invited
    image150 Wouldn't Miss it for the World image39 Will Celebrate From Afar
    RSVP Date: July 20, 2012 Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    I think that having a picture of your grandparents on their wedding day could be a great memorial.  I also agree that if there is anything of your grandmother's that you could incorporate into your wedding day apparel, that would be a good way to honor her as well.
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    Candles/memorial tables aren't my thing-- my grandma died almost exactly 1 year ago, and seeing a memorial like that would make my family cry, and I don't want that. However, I'm putting mini-pictures of my grandparents and other dearly departed in 1.5" x 1.5" frames that will be tied to the handle of my bouquet. That way, I can remember them and know they're with me, but in a less public way.
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    We aren't doing a memorial table (that would make me cry, especially since my bff died 2.5 years ago)..

    We are buying either flowers or candles for the altar at the church, and putting in the programs "The flowers on the altar represent those family and friends who cannot be with us today".
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    ked917ked917 member
    First Comment
    I lost both of my grandfathers two years ago and I'm not really a sappy person. So rather than doing a memorialtable, I found each of ther birth month (like birthstone) flowers online and I'm incorporating them into my bouquet. Just an idea!
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