When to start calling missing RSVPs???

DeClue82

My wedding date is August 18th. I asked on the RSVP to be returned by July 28th (I wish I had put a week earlier...) When is it ok to start checking with people who haven't replied to find out their response? I know they still have time, and they are still coming in the mail (literally ONE a DAY, it's killing me!)... but I just wanted your opinions on how soon I could start the email/phone call process? 

tuarceatha

You have to wait until after the RSVP date you gave. That is the only polite thing to do. Some people wait until the day before, or put it in the mail the day it is due.

Binkieloo

I asked my mom and FMIL to send emails to their respective families about 3-4 weeks after the invites went out. This was 3 weeks before the RSVP date I had set. I had them word it to try and confirm that everyone had received them, and that our accommodation options were filling up quite quickly. 

It was good I had them do it, as quite a few had not received the email for whatever reason. Our invites were emailed out. 

BTCarolus

Usually I think you're supposed to wait until at least three days after the RSVP deadline. I know that's a long way off. But, basically, people often don't get around to sending them until the day of the deadline, so it's going to be at least a few days before all of those come in. And then you know who to call. I think it might be acceptable to start calling right around the time...but don't do it too far out, or you're going to come off as hounding.

20pearls16

My wedding is the 19th and my RSVP date is July 15th. I have been telling people (jokingly) as I see them, "hey you better send back your RSVP before I give your spot away."  They have been coming in one day out a time. I plan to call a week after the RSVP date to those who haven't responded. 

iriscarmendiaz

My wedding date is August 4th, and my RSVP date is this Wednesday (I had to move it up because of vendor's requests). Because mine is technically destination and I have unusual/alternative vendors and venue, I needed my responses earlier. I plan on calling people Thursday and giving them until Saturday to respond. I have to have everything in by Sunday.

I did this because all of our RSVPs were online website/byphone/email, so there was nothing to mail back.

transcriber87

The lady who is like the wedding event coordinator where our wedding and reception is told us that we should call the guests who had not RSVP'd 3 weeks before the wedding date because we have to give a final head count 2 weeks beforehand for the food...My wedding is 8/17 with an RSVP date of 7/20, I just mailed them on Sat!!

DeClue82

I stupidly made the reply by date 3 weeks before the wedding... I had heard that it was rude to make it earlier somewhere... which seems that that is not the case... I think I'm going to have to call people a little earlier than most of you are suggesting as my caterer has scheduled a meeting with me on the 21st of July (RSVPs are due the 28th...) that's my dilemma

lb1212

I wouldn't start calling until the day after your RSVP date.

kthowell

well i am not calling anyone to check so I am no help

colstj1

I agree with other people to wait until after the rsvp date.

saraschilling88

I wouldn't call anyone before the RSVP date. 

LibbyC730

Ours is Aug 17 and we gave the date of July 31.  Wish it would have been earlier, but I think people wouldn't respond on time, thinking "oh the wedding is still a month away!"  We have a 10 day meeting when they need the final headcount for catering, so I will probably start calling a few days after the RSVP deadline.  Hopefully it won't come to that, though!

DeClue82

Libby... thats where I am right now too... I really thought people would reply quicker!!! A lot of FI's family hasn't replied and even getting in touch with them might be an issue... I'm pretty sure 99% of them are declining (our wedding is 7 hours from their homes, driving) but I wish they would just send back the RSVP!!! Just drop it in a mailbox!!

ElyseE25

Is anyone else really annoyed with common courtesy? I mean I sent you this invitation and RSVP WITH postage so it's not like you don't have a stamp, all you have to do is write you names in and mark yes or no. I have never understood why people wait till the last minute, especially when save the dates have been sent! 

DeClue82

Haha Elyse, I know... I know I will never wait on mailing an RSVP back again. It's so frustrating... my invites have been out for over a month and I'm still missing most of them... and some of them are from people I KNOW are coming or I KNOW are not coming... like my MOH!!!! 

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_august-2012-weddings_when-to-start-calling-missing-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1fb748ee-7a4e-40eb-b4b4-e553486f4cacDiscussion:fc0523c3-4b9b-45b8-9d56-25380954e978Post:78bad470-187e-402c-8de6-6dda81af4a85">Re: When to start calling missing RSVPs???</a>:
[QUOTE]well i am not calling anyone to check so I am no help
Posted by kthowell[/QUOTE]

what are you going to do if people don't rsvp and then show up?

Ajoyd

I agree with PPs--wait until your RSVP date has passed, even if it is just one day. You will save yourself a lot of calls that way anyway!

dawnp917

You should not calll before the RSVP date.  We have a date of July 1st for RSVPs and do not plan on calling anybody until  after the 4th.   We still need RSVPs from about 8 parties.  I'm not worried about it at this point.   They have another week before the RSVP date passes. 

It would be rude to contact guests before the RSVP date has passed.   You gave them a deadline they are not yet late, and are not being rude by not responding.  Some people just procrastinate.