xp cash bar

mbaete

For my wedding my FI and I will not yet be 21. We don't have alcohol in our budget because it is not important to us. However, everyone is complaining that we are not going to have alcohol. I understand that they would like to have some drinks, I just havn't put it into my budget because it doesn't apply to us.

I am thinking about having a cash bar. I figure that is people want to have a drink they can pay for it. I mean I'm already paying for the food, cake, refreshments, favors, and overall party. I just dont want to pay for 100 peoples drinks if legally I can't even consume alcohol.(Not that I couldn't if i wanted to at my wedding).

I just don't know what to do. Should I not even offer it, because then they would have to pay for it. Or do I have a cash bar, becasue if they want a drink they wont have a problem paying for it?

Ideas, Suggestions, Comments?
TIA

blush64

You don't have to have alcohol if you don't want to.

You should note that usually you provide what you think will make it nice for your guests. So, reasoning that you won't benefit from it so you won't have it sounds kind of selfish.

Don't have a cash bar.

You don't want to pay for alcohol because you can't drink it legally.  To me, I would still have it. If I got married while pregnant I couldn't drink but I would certainly still provide it for my guests. But really, a dry reception is ok.

juma1111

You will find that on most of these boards the general consenious is that cash bars are rude and aweful. I was raised this way but where I live now, they are the norm and people expect a cash bar at a wedding.
I was married once before (I was not 21 then either) and we had no alcohol because I figured if I couldn't drink, neither could they. But that was my opinion. I think you know your group of friends & family. If they won't be offended by a cash bar and YOU WANT ONE THERE, then it's not a bad thing. If you want a dry wedding reception have one. It's your big day, do what makes you happy.

NOLAbridealmost

I have the most mixed feelings about cash bars.....I swear my feelings about this topic are so complex that it would give Hamlet a run for his money. 

On the one hand: cash bars are straight up rude. I will almost always side-eye a cash bar BIG TIME--particularly if the couple paid a great deal of attention to decor, flowers, the dress, favors etc. at the expense of hosting the drinks for their guests. 

On the other hand I hate dry weddings. They are absolutely not rude, but in my opinion they just suck. I would probably not stay very long at a dry wedding.  Meanwhile, I'd side-eye a cash bar, but I'd probably stick around. 

Limited selections like just beer and wine and/or just signature cocktails don't bother me at all.  Happy medium.  Not rude. Not sucky.  Could you do something like this, OP? 

SuMmErKuTiE

As much as I hate cash bars, I'd rather be at a wedding with a cash bar then a dry wedding. All the weddings I've ever been to have been open bar, except for one that was cash bar and you better believe a lot of the guests were surprised, disappointed, and complaining about it. But, as I said in the beginning, I'd much rather have the option to get a drink and have to pay for it then not have any options at all.

clgraysn

I agree.  I am providing two signature cocktails for my guess and a champagne toast.  I will have a cash bar as well.  Many people on this board are against cash bars, but it really depends.  Where I live, it is not uncommon.  It is actually uncommon to host an open bar here.  In the end, I say do what makes you happy.  People that love you and are truly happy for you will be there anyway.  On a side note I would probably offer a cash bar before offering no bar at all.  I have been to a couple of dry weddings and people ate and left before most of the actitivities took place.  You have to know your crowd.