Tacky?

gretchends

Two thoughts for you on your BBQ issue.  First has been mentioned multiple times - perhaps serving this menu at your rehearsal dinner.  Second, if you decide to go with the BBQ for your reception dinner, give thought to a wonderful, classy bib.  That, of course, is realizing "How classy can a bib be?"  A bit of brainstorming and I'm sure you will come up with something sharp and worthy of positive comments like, "Why did I not think of that?"  Have fun!

cuppatea

This day is for you and your future husband; shouldn't you eat what you enjoy?  You could eat caviar and spill it on your dress; what's the difference?  Have BBQ and enjoy!

marionjim4

Yes do what you want, but if you are really seriously asking if it's "tacky" then you have hidden reservations about it....
It doesn't have to be tacky- and casual is great.... just let people know it's more of an "office casual" instead of a Saturday running errands casual.
Congrat's have fun!

buttercup14

We always planned to have a casual backyard bbq wedding (though my dress is still AMAZING) , but a friend beat us to the idea.  Since your setting isn't formal, I say absolutely GO FOR IT!  It's your wedding and you should do what you want.  Everyone loved the bbq at my friend's wedding and everyone still dressed up

We're going for the fun factor and plan to have a taco truck, a mariachi band, buckets of Corona and pitchers of margaritas on every table.  Our friends have a gorgeous, huge backyard and we'll have the reception there.

Have a blast! 

jlhubler

Go for it! That is what I am doing. We are having an outdoor wedding, but the reception will be indoors. We are having BBQ pork & chicken on the grill. It's our day and we don't care what people think. Have fun!

katiknana01

A wedding should reflect the couple that is getting married!  We are having an evening reception and having BBQ because its exactly who we are!  And while I am afraid that there might be people there OVER dressed, the important thing for us is for people to have a good time and enjoy themselves...and the food!  What better thing to have than BBQ!

quatraa1

My sister eloped in the Bahamas and when they returned, had a big outdoor BBQ with a tent and band in a field. There was a fire pit with a pig roast, mac and cheese, potato salad and corn on the cob.  She wore frye cowboy boots and a white dress and he wore khakis and a buttoned down shirt.  Everyone danced all day and all night and said it was the best wedding and the most fun they've had.  My sister always does what she wants and stays true to herself and everyone loves her for that. I've honestly never seen a happier wedding.  Enjoy yourself!!!

sodell23

Girl....you should taylor your wedding to you and your fiance's style.  If both of you grew up on BBQ and you both love it...then ROCK IT OUT!  I think whatever you and your man want to do is perfectly acceptable.  If I were a guest at your wedding, I would be stoked!   

kal32205

We are having bbq at our reception. For one, I can't afford a huge formal dinner for everyone......for two, I enjoy eating food I recognize and I am sure my guests do too.

CassieandMike

what if you were to have bite sized pieces and toothpicks so there's no mess involved?? I think that would make it a little less "tacky"... eat what ever you and your hubby would want to eat, just make it unoffensive, I guess you could say, to the more traditional guests by making it less messy!!

mogeek

I suppose it depends on what TYPE of BBQ.  If you're talking brisket, chicken, roasted corn and grilled veggies - that can be totally classy.  But if you're talking hot dogs & burgers, that may be a little tacky.  BBQ does not need to be a casual cuisine - it's just a way of cooking.
Personally, I think your wedding should reflect you & your groom and if BBQ is your thing, than do it - just make sure it's done tastefully.
HAVE FUN!!!

ellis2

I'm doing the same thing for mine.  Outdoor wedding, indoor reception with BBQ.  My fiance and I are paying for the wedding ourselves, and we both wanted a more casual feel also at the reception. 

I was at first worried about the same thing.  In the end, however, I came to the realization that (i) I don't want to go into debt paying a ridiculous price for a fancy dinner, and (ii) I actually like BBQ, and so does the family! 

Really, are people that judge you for what you serve for dinner at your wedding and hold it against you really worth your attention anyways?

tashamurf87

I am doing an evening reception and also having bbq, I don't think that it is tacky at all. Who doesn't love a good BBQ dinner ya know? And if people complain then just tell them this is my day not yours. My reception is also going to be rustic but I guess if you decorate the reception very fancy or anything then it might be a little bit of a down grade, but honestly who said you have to spend tonz of money on fancy food? Alot of people now don't even do meals...I would just say don't worry about BBQ being tacky, its simple and everyone likes it, and that is what matters.

mcguyert

We are having BBQ too! I say go for it! We are having brisket and the fixings to go along with it.  Not tacky...delicious and easy on a budget.  We are having a destination wedding and then coming back to hold an evening reception.  It will be perfect and your reception will be too!

leahjordan

BBQ is a great option. I have been in and attended numerous weddings (as we all have) and BBQ was the dish of choice for almost all of them (even the fancy sit down).  Remember the day revolves around the two of you and you are sharing things about you as a couple with your guests. If you two want and enjoy BBQ, why not have that to share with your family and friends?  Am sure your MOH is trying to help, but listen to your instincts and go with them!

breepeyton

My sister had a beautiful, semi-formal, evening wedding.  The dinner menu was bbq... brisket, beans, potato salad, and rolls.  Everyone enjoyed it!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with having bbq for your wedding dinner.  Food is food and you're feeding a lot of people.  Can't go wrong with bbq. 

CubbyB

Seriously, what is all this talk about "appropriate". What is appropriate is whatever the bride and groom want. Period.

jbocklund

We are having a similar situation. We are getting married in a lodge in January, and having a 4pm wedding. Do you think burgers and fries are tacky? We're serving a burger "bar" family style. We decided the food first, and are building the room's "look" around the food. So we are going to play bingo before dinner, I'm using vintage soda bottles for flowers in place of vases, etc... we're just having fun with it. You're right on when you say that it's your day. If bbq is what you want, have bbq.

I have also found that it helps to just stop telling people your plans at all. Everyone thinks they should get a say, when really noone's opinion really matters but yours and your fiance's.

Congrats!!

thefuturemrsnicholas

I am having my wedding in November at the zoo, along with BBQ as our food choice. My fiance has a southern Alabama background and I left food choice up to him since I chose the location. I think BBQ is perfectly fine and you are the only other person that I have heard of that is having that. It's unique and not many people would take that risk. Go for it!

Sarah&Nick0530

We had a similar issue...thought about doing BBQ, but decided to use that for the RD and instead have a "build your own fajita" buffet at the wedding.  This would be more open for the vegetarians (whereas there aren't any in the WP or close family at the RD) at the wedding, and just seemed a little more formal.  BUT I still love the idea of BBQ too...it's your call!

snarky_girl

I'm with the others who say have BBQ if you want it. We're having a very casual wedding in September and having BBQ. I'm also wearing a white dress and quite frankly freaked out that I'm gonna ruin it with my uncanny ability to spill food on myself whenever I wear something nice. I joked with a friend that I need a bib so I don't ruin the dress. She came up with the idea of an apron instead! We're using our wedding colors — chocolate brown, tiffany blue — and having it embroider to say "Mrs. Lawrence." It works two-fold: it covers a ton of the dress and protects it from my clumsiness and I can use it after the wedding! 

[Deleted User]

I can't remember if it was this site or another one, but I got a piece of great advice from it. Basically: No matter what you do, someone will think it's tacky.

Do whatever makes you happy, and forget what everyone else thinks.

nthompson1

How about BBQ Skewers (Chicken, Steak and Rib) etc.?  This way you don't have to handle the meat in your  hand - other than by the tip of the stick.  Also did you consider changing into a beautiful linen white dress - after the ceremony and photo session (don't mess up the gown w/BBQ Sauce).  Congratulations! Natalie from Maryland

NicoleH10

I totally say go for it! We are having BBQ at our wedding and I couldn't be more excited! Its your day not anyone elses! I've been telling people I want the ceremony to be formal and nice but when we get to the reception its all about having fun with family and friends! Everyone will be in the same clothing they wore to the wedding so it will still be formal. We are serving Tri Tip and chicken! Do what you and your Fiance want, if BBQ is your guys' thing, than I say go for it!

jenniferg83

Do it!  Girl, dont even worry about it if thats what you want!  BBQ would not be tacky at all...Im having some at my reception, and mine is def more formal than yours!  Im also doing 4pm in october, its ALL indoors.  BBQ is something almost everyone likes.  Plus half the time nobody can identify that fancy junk, which is many times gross or forgettable.  If anyone wants an ultra-formal meal they can go get it themselves!  This day is about you and your sweetie, not about making every single person happy (which is impossible).  If you invited them to your home and provided dinner for them, would they complain?  Same diff, except that your shelling out a lot more money to feed people.  BBQ will save you some $$ too... I noticed your little timeline thingy is pink and orange..those are my wedding colors, yours too?  We are doing a tropical theme (yeah, in october. so? hehe) which works great with the bright colors and BBQ.  Another thing you can do is tweak the bbq recipes a bit to dress them up, give them fancier names too if you want.  We're serving "huli-huli pork"...basically pulled pork in a soy-ginger bbq sauce.  (we also added chicken breast, just in a traditional-type gravy for non-bbq lovers)  There are plenty of variations out there though, even a white bbq sauce made famous in the south!  Whatever you do, i would make sure guests can eat it easily with knife and/or fork (no bones).  Have fun!

sheena_bushey

I am having a informal reception as well (no jeans) and i am serving BBQ. I have not heard anyone say anything bad about it. Besides, it's your wedding so do what u want.

sescribner

I'm kinda on the fence with this one.  I had the same thoughts about my wedding.  We have decided on a more traditional menu.  I don't think a BBQ will be tacky...people won't think twice as long as it tastes good!  

hellokaterose

Just use a really beautiful/special hankerchief tucked into the front of your dress to protect it!

sheilabush

Depends on the BBQ choice of meat.  Will it be hotdogs and hamburgers or boneless ribs or pork.  If your having an indoor evening dinner I think it would be better to go with better boneless cuts of meats that you cut with a knife rather than eat with your fingers.  This way you can have the best of both worlds!  Have fun on your big day!

imthegreenfairry

I'm in texas and i'm seriously debating having fajitas at my wedding. tex-mex is my favorite and it's supposed to be really good buffet style on a budget. just do it!! your barbeque i mean