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Food and Cakes

Skip cutting the cake production

Yes, we are having a regular cake since our guests really like cake. But, I loathe cake cutting. I'm not a traditional bride, and I never liked the cake cutting part of the reception. (I'm sure other brides like that part, which is fine. However, it's not my preference.) 

I would rather have our reception facility cut the cake and serve it to the guests. I have been to a wedding where they didn't make it a production, and I didn't miss it. I know the guest like the bride and groom to have cake smashed into their faces. Bu after a long day with hair and makeup, I don't want cake in my face. Has anyone skipped this tradition or went to a wedding where the bride and groom did not cut the cake?

Re: Skip cutting the cake production

  • We didn't have a cake cutting, and the wedding I went to last weekend didn't have a cake cutting.  We both had dessert buffets.  Guests seemed happy at both weddings. 

    That said, if you're mainly concerned about the cake smashing, I know some people do it, but I cannot remember ever actually seeing it--I've only seen couples cut the cake and feed each other.  If you want to have the cake cutting without the smashing, that's an option, too (just make sure you and your FI are on the same page about it).

  • I've been to weddings w/o it and we almost didn't do it (my DH hates attention), until he changed his mind at the last minute & we did. 
  • First, there's cake-cutting and cake-smashing. You can have one without the other.

    As for cake-cutting, be aware that it's a traditional signal that things are winding down, and certainly that dinner is over. We're having a buffet dinner, with average age of guests maybe over 60, so we're doing a cake-cutting, so they know it's polite to go home. No cake-smashing, though. Practice with your fiance. Use forks.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_skip-cutting-the-cake-production?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:a03f50f0-0fa8-4276-9c07-24cabb56cc5aPost:aa475869-8eba-4916-8afc-8bb2eecd1314">Re: Skip cutting the cake production</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, there's cake-cutting and cake-smashing. You can have one without the other. <strong>As for cake-cutting, be aware that it's a traditional signal that things are winding down, and certainly that dinner is over</strong>. We're having a buffet dinner, with average age of guests maybe over 60, so we're doing a cake-cutting, so they know it's polite to go home. No cake-smashing, though. Practice with your fiance. Use forks.
    Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]
    This is true. I decided to go against the grain and have the cake cutting right after dinner, but before dancing. Usually it's towards the last 1/3 of the dancing time. My venue did protest saying, 'oh, but how will the guests know when the night is ending?' My response: 'a watch.' <div>
    </div><div>It is traditional, but I didn't feel it was necessary to follow that. We cut baby pieces perhaps 2mm large & fed them to each other. No possibly chance of dress spillage or makeup damage. I did it more so my mom would have a picture of it. </div>
  • We cut the cake and just fed it, didn't smash it. But we did not do parent dances (mother/son, father/daughter) and we didn't do a garter or bouquet toss. I think anything can be skipped, really, if it's just something you don't like.

    If you have a nice cake out on display, just have the caterers take it away during dinner and cut it in back.
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  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_skip-cutting-the-cake-production?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:a03f50f0-0fa8-4276-9c07-24cabb56cc5aPost:aa475869-8eba-4916-8afc-8bb2eecd1314">Re: Skip cutting the cake production</a>:
    [QUOTE]First, there's cake-cutting and cake-smashing. You can have one without the other. As for cake-cutting, be aware that it's a traditional signal that things are winding down, and certainly that dinner is over. We're having a buffet dinner, with average age of guests maybe over 60, so we're doing a cake-cutting, so they know it's polite to go home. No cake-smashing, though. Practice with your fiance. Use forks.
    Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]


    This may be a regional tradition.  In our area, the cake cutting is often done shortly after the bride and groom enter the dinner room.  The bride and groom actually "perform" their cake cutting ceremony prior to dinner even being served.  It then gives the staff the opportunity to cut and plate the cake so it is ready to be served as part of the dessert.  And, because the cake cutting is done <em>early on, </em>there is less of the cake smashing portion to the program, in part, because the evening has just started.
  • Well, it's in Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Guide to Etiquette 1958 and I think my Emily Post from the '60s, too.

    [Not saying everyone should follow these books today. I do with the older guests I mentioned, and they LOVE it and complement me on it.]
  • edited June 2012
    You can cut cake without smashing it (I didn't want smashing either), or you can skip it totally. It's not required. We cut ours right after dinner because we loved our cake and wanted it on display as long as possible instead of cutting it right when we walked in; our photog actually suggested we wait to cut it and I liked the idea. People were so full from dinner that it was totally fine to wait about 45 min for the servers to cut it before serving it and people enjoyed having a break from dancing to eat (if they wanted). So as you can see, there are many ways to do it if you decide to do it.


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  • a wedding is what you want..it is your day....

  • I can't tell you how much I hate the cake smashing! You've just made vows to love eachother for the rest of your lives and you start that out by smashing cake in eachother's faces? Ugh!
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  • We didn't have a cake cutting ceremony - but that is because we had individual cakes that were already at the table for guests.  So, when they were finished with dinner they could have dessert right then.

    In my area it is common for cake to be served right after dinner.  So either the bride and groom cut the cake right when they enter the reception or right after dinner.  In cases when there was no cake cutting ceremony the cake was our for display during cocktail hour, cut during dinner and served right after dinner.  Then the whole "signaling end of reception" didn't apply/wasn't needed.
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