meal or finger food?

jeffsgirl48

my mom says finger food, but his mom says meal. i asked her what kind of meal and she said a potluck. i have never been to a wedding before and have no idea what i am doing with the meal. what is most common? which is easiest? which would people appreciate more?

squarepeg72

K & I have had this same debate. A couple of questions to consider -

What time of day is the wedding?
How big is the guest list?
What do YOU want?
What does your FH want?

When you have the answers to those questions, then look at cost options and see. We decided on a buffet stle sit down dinner for the reception. We are having a 6 pm wedding followed by the reception so something more substantial than finger foods was needed.

kimp67

Ditto pp, what time is the reception?  I've never been to a "potluck" wedding & wouldn't do that unless it was a very small/casual backyard thing.

kaesha

Re potluck: Whenever I've done a potluck wedding (and I've only been to two), it's been for a hippy/indie couple who asked for food/recipes instead of gifts (and it was a surprise wedding in one case). It can work, but if it's not the norm within your circle, it can really be seen as a huge imposition.

Ultimately, I think the reception should be a way to celebrate with your guests and to me that means making sure they aren't doing all the work. So sit down with your FI and work out your budget and what the two of you want to do within that budget.

LauraT25

As Kaesha said, I think that you may have issues with a potluck wedding.  It takes a certain type of wedding and group of guests to make that work without seeming a little rude and imposing on the guests.  And you have to know that they would be fine with it, since if you ask most people will tell you they'd be happy to bring a dish even if they'd really be grumbling about it behind your back.  I'm not saying that it can't be done, but you really have to know your guests, and it ought to be a small, simple, casual wedding.

Finger foods are fine if you don't have the wedding during a mealtime.  As PP said, work out your budget, and then have the wedding that you can afford, even if it means moving the wedding to the morning or afternoon rather than having it during dinner.

frogurt814

A potluck dinner for your wedding reception is pretty much always inappropriate. 

aloiya008

We are doing a morning wedding and finger food. For a later wedding, though, a sit-down meal should be provided. Just because finger food may cost less doesn't mean it can't be classy and fabulous

jeffsgirl48

thanks ladies so much! you all have been an amazing help! our wedding is like mid afternoon at the church so we decided on a catered finger food. 

ashl_bee

I have seen caterers do "family style" sit down meals ranging from light fare to a hearty dinner. It is more relaxed than a plated meal. Maybe it could be a happy medium between the two?