sister/bm problems

xohxohheather

So my younger sister is one of my bridesmaids and she has a few of piercings on her face.  Two on her lips, a septum piercing and a nose piercing.  I'm pretty open minded but I HATE her nose piercings, they really detract from her face and she wears hoops instead of just studs.  I asked her if she would take out the septum piercing for the wedding and just put a stud in her regular nose piercing.  I told her she could keep her lip rings.  

She basically freaked out on me and told me I was rude and that she didn't know if she wanted to be in my wedding now.  I told her I wasn't trying to be rude and that she only had to take them out for a few hours.

Do you think I am being unreasonable?

cherrrylll

I think it would be unreasonable of you to demand that she remove them, but I don't think there was any harm in asking her to. I think she's overreacting. If she's not willing to remove them, I say make ammends and shrug your shoulders and move on. Just get them photoshopped out of pictures

BanannaP

Honestly, I'd let it slide. I think it's kind of like asking bridesmaids to wear the exact same hairstyle, makeup, dress and shoes: a little old-fashioned. If it makes her happy, let her wear them - she'll be less of a pain. And as cheryl mentioned, photoshop can do wonders!

Mariah09202008

I think she's being unreasonable and pretty dramatic about it and I agree with Cheryl-it's unreasonable if you're demanding for her to remove them it's one thing.  But it sounds like you just asked her.  I understand how you feel though. 

Honestly, if she's going to flip out, just let her do what she wants so that she'll be happy.  Nothing's worse than a mopey bridal party member on the day of the wedding. 

I really don't see what the big deal is and I have to disagree about it being comparable to asking the BM to wear the same shoes, same hair, etc.  Facial piercings are distracting and I wouldn't want septum piercings and what-have-you in my pictures either.  But...sometimes you have to ask yourself if it's worth it and just shrug your shoulders and pick your battles. 

HTH!

Tiffany618

I'm going to have to disagree with everyone on this one.  Maybe I'm just ultra conservative but in my opinion this is entirely different than insisting upon matching hair or shoes.  

I wouldn't want that image in my photos. I'm ok with small studs and stuff like that, but rings and septum piercing? No way... 

Flame away if you want.

BanannaP

I should clarify that I don't think you're being unreasonable and I do think her reaction was silly. I know that when I've been in weddings, I was willing to wear/do whatever the bride wanted. But, if my sister asked me to remove a piercing, cover a tattoo, etc., I would feel a little hurt, because she knew I had them before she asked me to be in her wedding. I just think that, even though it's supposed to be about you and not her, a happy bridesmaid is better than a pouty one.

ewinkler1977

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.  It is very unsightly and it's only one day.  She should be more reasonable.  It's such an easy thing to remove.

Mariah09202008

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_sisterbm-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:1808afa4-455c-476c-98af-91428c11ae97Post:0943c51c-4971-41f4-9eb7-468c743c9526">Re: sister/bm problems</a>:
[QUOTE]I just think that, even though it's supposed to be about you and not her, a happy bridesmaid is better than a pouty one.
Posted by BanannaP[/QUOTE]Exactly. This isn't exactly the same but my mom started out pouty the day of my wedding when a situation occured while trying to board their dogs for the day/night.  It was distracting and made me feel like she cared more about her dog than the fact that her youngest daughter was getting married.  She was distracted and on her phone for about half the time we were at the salon getting our hair and makeup done.  It's stupid-but I'll never forget how that made me feel. 

Tiffany618

Sorry, I should be less judgemental and more helpful here.... what if she could take some of it out or wear less noticeable piercings for your ceremony and formal pictures, and then rock her own style for the reception? 

xohxohheather

Thanks girls, I talked with her and we reached an agreement.  She can keep her septum and lip piercings but she is going to change her regular rose piercing to a stud.  It was just so much metal in one area and it was distracting.  Like I said I am open minded but I just really dont like her piercings because they detract from her looks, she is such a pretty girl and I think she uses the piercings as a way to hide because she is shy and a little insecure. 

amberpro

You already solved your problem, but I wanted to tell you I bio stalked and I absolutely adore your dress.  It's beautiful!

MsLaura31

So maybe I Bio Stalked too... Where did you get your shoes? I was planning on wearing flats, but those might be a good option.

Jay+Marissa

Wow--love the dress too! It looks like it was made for you. I swear, dresses never look that good in person compared to the photos online

xohxohheather

Wow thank you so much ya'll! MsLaura, I actually didnt end up getting those shoes I need to update the thing!), they made me too tall for my fi's comfort so I had to find something with an even LOWER heel. I ended up getting these: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000UWVMTG/ref=oss_T15_product