Where to start on vows??

jbates926

Our wedding is about a month away and we need to start writing our vows, but we have no idea where to start. 

My mother passed away unexpecidely a few months ago and I know it will already be an emotional ceremony. That coupled with the fact that I am already incredibely emotional, I do not want to add to that by completely writting our own seperate vows and being a blubbering mess standing up in front of everyone.  

We do not want to say the traditional "to have and to hold etc" but we dont necessarily want to write our own individual vows either. So we thought that we would write them together, something that we can have the officiant recite to us and repeat, but Im not even sure if that will sound OK. Has anyone seen something like this done? Any suggestions to get us started?

sweetpeameyer

Firstly, I'm sorry for your loss...losing your mother must be tearing you apart.  It might seem generic for me to say this, but your mother will definitely be there because some pieces are within you and everyone she has affected.  Just remember, your heart is where she is and she'll never leave you.

-As for the vows, you could go anywhere with this, but if you can think of one theme for your wedding or your relationship, go with that. (i.e. unity, friendship, etc.)  At least that gives you a narrower starting point and it may help with getting your mind going.  You have the thoughts, you just have to unlock them. 
-You could also go with the puzzle piece vow--how the other completes you even though you have some differences.
-Struggle to triumph vow--You've been through some harships, and you have and always will see them through together.

Hopefully these suggestions helped a little.  Even if you don't use any of them, I hope they got your minds going to find what you truly want.  Sometimes, all you need is a spark.  Good luck and congratulations!