September 2013 Weddings

FI's Ex.......

Sooo. Que weird situation,
FI dated a girl all through high school. Girl was diagnosed with bone cancer 2 weeks after they graduated. Relationship wasnt that great to begin with but FI was there for her. Relationship turned to friendship, girl's cancer went into remission.
FI went on to college and moved forward with life... Stayed somewhat in touch with girl.
When FI and I started dating, he told me a little about it. While tripping head over heels in love with FI, I posted some cheezy loveness on his facebook wall. Girl commented saying it was cheezy. FI unfriended girl and said he didnt want jealousy to be in the midst of our relationship (on her part). I thought it was funny but whatever.
SO Fast forward to a week ago, girl messaged ME and FI saying she was trying to get in touch with FI because her health was deteriorating quickly. I asked her what she was trying to get out of it and she sincerely said she just wanted him to know what was going on with her because they once cared for each other....
She said her cancer came back in the fall and there were no treatment options, and that no one knew how long she had left.
This made me feel so weird. Kinda uncomfortable but sad and understanding. I told FI that if he feels like he needs to talk to her he can, that Ill support him, that I trust and love him.
He didnt call, because she had told me what she wanted him to know (that she was dieing)
Creeped on her facebook last night.
She died.
I cried... A LOT... I mean a lot... I told FI about it this morning and he handled it very well... I think because he was with her through the beginning of it he had come to terms with her dieing a long time ago.
SO yeah. Just wanted to write it out, its such a strange position and feeling. To mourn your future husbands ex.
She was a song writer and her facebook is exploding with hundreds of people writing condolences.

Anyone ever been in a situation like this?
Jenn
Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Wedding tickers March Siggy: Wedding Hair Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: FI's Ex.......

  • I haven't but how awful. The fact that you cried shows you are human and a caring person. You did what she asked of you so it's not like you blocked a conversation. Your FI just chose to not communicate with her which kept you from being in an awkward position having awkward conversations.
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  • wow honey you handled an awkward situation beautifully!!  The fact that she was near death and still thought of him speaks worlds about the quality of the man your marrying!!!!
  • That must be so difficult. I'd give FI some time to let it process and some time for yourself. If possible, I'd attempt to go to the funeral or send some kind of condolence. What a tough situation, sorry to hear about it.

  • I agree with everyone else, that's an awful situation.  You handled it very well by telling your FI and giving him the opportunity to call her, whether or not he chose to.  You did everything right. 
  • Thank you girls for the encouragement and peace of mind! It really means a lot!
    Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Wedding tickers March Siggy: Wedding Hair Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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