Trouble with a bridesmaid!

FUTUREMRSDANGELO

Hey has anybody else had this happen one of my best friends is my bm and i had asked her in march to be my bm ive tried getting time to spend with her but everytime i ask her to hangout shes to busy after like a month of asking i stopped asking. I hadn't seen her in like 6months before because she was on a missions trip out of the country. Should I be pissed the thing is shes also friends with my brother and does stuff with him after work. I used to work there but i have since left and went to another job. I have to get up earlly so i usually try be in bed by no later than 10 which i have told her I would stay up later to hang or change my schedule around. My fiance says dont have her as a bm just as attendant i would feel bad telling her this. So idk someone please help me! lol

mpickl

Holy run-on sentances, batman! lol

If I was in this situation, I'd use the same rule I have for my vendors -- if they aren't communacative now, imagine how stressful it will be for you when it is months, weeks, DAYS before your wedding and they are pulling the same s**t.

It sounds like she has a decent excuse, being out of the country. Did she seem excited when you asked her, or like it would be a chore? She might just think that the wedding is a while away, and not realize how excited you are.

FUTUREMRSDANGELO

Shes been back since march which i even gave her time to relax with her family until april when i asked her to hang. And she was very excited when i when i asked her to be my bm.

MandiNewMommy

I agree with pp if you are having trouble getting her to do things now...how are you going to trust she will make anything on time let alone plan.  Two of my BM are out of town so alot more falls onto my FSIL.  Maybe just have a sit down with her tell her how you feel and what you are worried about.  

FUTUREMRSDANGELO

Thanks guys its nice getting talk to other brides about stuff

CantWaitDIYBride

In Response to Trouble with a bridesmaid!:
In Response to Trouble with a bridesmaid!:

Ohh girl I feel ya!! I have been engaged since Sept 2010. I had asked my college friend to be my bm. She of course said yes and I thought this is great!! Well since the beginning of this year we have tried to get together with her. Now, she lives out of state so we've tried to schedule skyping etc etc... We had our first meeting w/out her and I emailed her all of the info but she NEVER responded. I sent her several texts and emails. She never got back to me. I decided that since she would not respond, she is no longer standing up in my wedding. If she happens to contact me in the near future I will not change  my mind. If she wanted to be in my wedding she would of made an effort just as I did in contacting her.

You're going to have enough stress with wedding planning as it is. Your bm's are suppose to make it easier, not harder. Nip it in the bud now chica!!

Good Luck!

Mtess1

So I'm kinda having the same problem.  One of my bm is always M.I.A and sometimes she doesn't even return calls or it'll take her a week to!  For me I'm setting a limit.  Once all the festivities start kicking in if she's still M.I.A I'm gonna have the, 'do you still want to do this' talk with her.  I plan on doing a outing with me and all the BMs cause nobody really knows each other.  Then in September we'll be looking for their dresses.  Let's face it, it's an honor to be asked to be a BM so if they can't do the job there are others that will!  With all our stress we don't have time to deal with absent people.  Cause if the shoe was on the other foot and I was a BM in her wedding I'd come running if she needed me.  Just saying...

APDSS22

Don't add to your stress level.  I really can't even think of a single excuse that would keep her from at least communicating with you what's going on.  Good luck finding another lady who'll help you out!

FUTUREMRSDANGELO

Thanks girls its nice to know that im not alone in this situation and other people also have the same problem. I was also thinking the same thing Mtess1 about taking them all out for the wkd to the beach for a fun get together to get to know everybody. I'm def thinking of maybe picking someone else since my fiance is saying that he doesn't feel like she has been being a good friend.