Favors
favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!
I am considering not doing favors for our wedding this fall. Budget wise I'd rather put more money into our honeymoon and our wedding. Is this bad form? Would people be upset? I just don't know what to do!
Last summer I can't remember what or if there were any favors at any of the weddings.... Someone please give me some sound advice, I am desperate!
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Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!
My new bff Gayle Forman!
?You can have your wishes, your plans, but at the end of the day, it's out of your control" - Gayle Forman
Married Bio
[QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC.
Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]
I totally disagree with this,i spent ALOT of money on the favors for my guests i did way more then just one favor but thats bc it was within my budget to be able to do so,if someone cant afford $500 for nice favors or they just give out little bags of candy wrapped up that doesnt mean that they are rude im sure guests would rather have the couple spend the money on a nice honeymoon that they wouldnt be able to afford if they spent the money on favors or an upgraded food station at the wedding.It's the guests choice to spend all the money to come to your wedding they have the right to decline when they recieve the invitation.
I am actually doing several favors and I'm on a budget as well ($340 to split between attendant gifts, welcome bags for 50 OOT guests and multiple favors). I have 150 guests and each guest can have one of each of the favos. My cheapest favor is my cookie bar-
My friends and family volunteered to make cookies- you can freeze cookies for months which is great! So I won't spend anymore on the cookies themselves. I splurged on the bags for the cookies- I spent $40 on 200 1lb tie tin bags but you can get 100s of cello bags for a few dollars.
I freecycled some baskets that I cleaned and will line with cloth napkins provided by the reception site to display the cookies.
If your on a budget definately see what you can find on your local freecycle board.
I hope this helps. If your unsure about not having favors- this is the cheapest thing I could find to do... just ask your family and friends for help baking!
Check out my bio for pics and my budget. Let me know if you have any questions.
[QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC.
Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]
B
Because a night out, dinner, drinks, dancing, entertainment is not enough of a thank you, you need some junk to be the real thank you?
[QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC.
Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>i completely agree with you 100%. People throw away favors because people hand out items that people dont really want. I personally love edible favors, i usually munch on them on the way home from the wedding.</div><div>
</div><div>Guests really do spend and do alot for your wedding. I think favors are important and a nice way to say thank you. You are not the only one who feels this way. You can come up with a nice favor, you dont have to get a heart shaped cookie cutter, or a mini whisk..... which i have tons of. I think a small vase, a candle, an edible treat... etc would be great.</div><div>
</div><div>My uncle is a potter and I am having him make the favors for my wedding. I want people to have something in their home and they can say "that was from jessie and scott's wedding!"
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[QUOTE]What we want to do is a small donation like $1 dollar per guest or even less to a charity and we will put a slip of paper on the table that says. " In lieu of favors a donation has been made to "Insert your charity of choice here" . We are using two charities close to our families. That way people will enjoy it in a way an appreciate it, I wont be angry if they throw it out and we can choose how much we spend.
Posted by bblouin[/QUOTE]
Doing this as well. Lung cancer and Alzheimers donations.
We decided to give out $2 lottery scratcher tickets in a cute envelope with a new penny. Each favor is costing about $2.10 per guest. Not everyone may like this idea, but I figure that it will be fun for our guests, and maybe someone will win some $!
But I would have no problem attending a wedding without favors. I appreciate the nice night (food, drinks, etc) out that the couples and their families are providing. I do not think a favor is neccessary at all.
[QUOTE]Rude not to give favors? Rude to expect them. Here you are giving your family and friends a great night out, with food, music, entertainment, and drinks, and people would actually be upset if they didn't get a favor? That's nuts. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate a new life that a couple will share and not to beg people to "go out of their way" to show up.
Posted by mandyandkenny[/QUOTE]
Worrrrd.
Wedding favors, in my opinion, are nice but non-essentials. If you really feel uncomfortable leaving them out, pick a DIY solution that goes with the feel of your wedding. My fiance and I are planning on making a CD of some of our favorite love songs. If you already have the music on your computer and you buy the CDs in bulk, it's not that expensive. Or, instead of a favor for each person, think of maybe doing a single favor for a couple or family.
[QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC.
Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]
It is not rude to forgo favors. Ask your grandmother or even your mother what her favor was - and she'll tell you she didn't have any. They have only been around since about the 80's. And as per Miss Manners, they are certainly not mandatory:
<em><span style="font-style:italic;">Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention<span style="font-size:100%;">. <u>You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion. </u></span></span></em>