Favors

favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!

I am considering not doing favors for our wedding this fall.  Budget wise I'd rather put more money into our honeymoon and our wedding.  Is this bad form?  Would people be upset?  I just don't know what to do!  

Last summer I can't remember what or if there were any favors at any of the weddings....  Someone please give me some sound advice, I am desperate!

Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!

  • edited December 2011
    Favors are usually the first thing to get the boot when trying to save money. And guess what? No one misses them. No one will even notice they are not getting a cheapy little bag of hershey kisses or homemade coasters or whatever! I can honestly say that most wedding favors end up in the trash or a junk drawer or a goodwill pile shortly after the wedding. They are not worth the time, effort and money put in to them usually. I would skip them...you can spent that money elsewhere, like your honeymoon!
    Christy Visit my wedding planning/DIY blog: http://joshandchristylovestory.blogspot.com/
  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you can't afford it or want to spend it somewhere else, then go ahead skip them.  I don't think it is considered bad form. 
  • edited December 2011
    Honestly, favors aren't really something that is needed. I've been to weddings where I've more than once just left it on the table because it wasn't something that I would ever use or want in my house. If you are thinking about nixing them, I doubt yuor guests will even notice.

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  • edited December 2011
    if you  cant afford them dont do it,noone will miss them,or if you want to replace favors with an upgraded food station im sure the guest would rather have that then something they will leave behind or throw out.
  • kissamarykissamary member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are doing DIY Jones Soda bottles (because the real ones are crazy expensive).  The lables will have our picture and say thanks for coming or something of the sort, but the true ponit is, it's soda!  He loves root beer and I just love soda in general, and guests are going to be drinking soda anyway, right?  Soda for everyone!
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  • JennasourusJennasourus member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011


    honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC. 
  • jorgemega10jorgemega10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would rather have good food or good music or awesome cake than some favor. If you don't have to money don't do it. Spend the money somewhere else... it will all come out in the wash!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:b73eabba-2942-4113-aca1-cea7225b8860">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC. 
    Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]
    I totally disagree with this,i spent ALOT of money on the favors for my guests i did way more then just one favor but thats bc it was within my budget to be able to do so,if someone cant afford $500 for nice favors or they just give out little bags of candy wrapped up that doesnt mean that they are rude im sure guests would rather have the couple spend the money on a nice honeymoon that they wouldnt be able to afford if they spent the money on favors or an upgraded food station at the wedding.It's the guests choice to spend all the money to come to your wedding they have the right to decline when they recieve the invitation.
  • steveosmithsteveosmith member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Try favors that are also decorations like place card holder favors and candles. That way you aren't spending extra money but guests still have something to remember the wedding by.
  • klibertikliberti member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think this is a touchy subject.  I 100% agree that most favors end up thrown out or given to good will- which is why I support edible favors. 

    I am actually doing several favors and I'm on a budget as well ($340 to split between attendant gifts, welcome bags for 50 OOT guests and multiple favors).  I have 150 guests and each guest can have one of each of the favos.  My cheapest favor is my cookie bar-

    My friends and family volunteered to make cookies- you can freeze cookies for months which is great!  So I won't spend anymore on the cookies themselves.  I splurged on the bags for the cookies- I spent $40 on 200 1lb tie tin bags but you can get 100s of cello bags for a few dollars. 

    I freecycled some baskets that I cleaned and will line with cloth napkins provided by the reception site to display the cookies. 

    If your on a budget definately see what you can find on your local freecycle board.

    I hope this helps. If your unsure about not having favors- this is the cheapest thing I could find to do... just ask your family and friends for help baking!

     Check out my bio for pics and my budget.  Let me know if you have any questions.
  • CA2MT4EveRCA2MT4EveR member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:b73eabba-2942-4113-aca1-cea7225b8860">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC. 
    Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]
    B

    Because a night out, dinner, drinks, dancing, entertainment is not enough of a thank you, you need some junk to be the real thank you?
    dont make ur password so easy. gbck2CA2 hahahaha
  • edited December 2011
    I had no idea some people feel so strongly about favors. LOL!!
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  • flamingtwig72flamingtwig72 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I sort of lean towards agreeing with the girl from NYC. If I went to a wedding without any sort of favor, I'd notice and not be too happy about it. Even if it's very cheap and small, it's something that's expected. That being said, it should definitely be edible. I look forward to taking the favor with me and eating it at the hotel or on the way home, and I think most people would appreciate food rather than a trinket. I think you should try to do SOMETHING, even if it's very simple and inexpensive. A handful of hershey kisses is better than nothing.
  • Jessie888Jessie888 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:b73eabba-2942-4113-aca1-cea7225b8860">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC. 
    Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>i completely agree with you 100%. People throw away favors because people hand out items that people dont really want. I personally love edible favors, i usually munch on them on the way home from the wedding.</div><div>
    </div><div>Guests really do spend and do alot for your wedding. I think favors are important and a nice way to say thank you. You are not the only one who feels this way. You can come up with a nice favor, you dont have to get a heart shaped cookie cutter, or a mini whisk.....  which i have tons of. I think a small vase, a candle, an edible treat... etc would be great.</div><div>
    </div><div>My uncle is a potter and I am having him make the favors for my wedding. I want people to have something in their home and they can say "that was from jessie and scott's wedding!" 

    </div>
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  • bblouinbblouin member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What we want to do is a small donation like $1 dollar per guest or even less to a charity and we will put a slip of paper on the table that says.  " In lieu of favors a donation has been made to "Insert your charity of choice here" .  We are using two charities close to our families.  That way people will enjoy it in a way an appreciate it, I wont be angry if they throw it out and we can choose how much we spend.
  • edited December 2011
    I think it's rude to expect a favor or kvetch about not getting a favor.  Guests should just be there to enjoy the happy day and show their genuine support for the couple, who are spending a lot of money to show their guests a good time.  If the couple didn't want to do that, they'd go to city hall and nix the whole shindig.  No one is making anyone buy a new outfit.   If someone thinks it's really that much "trouble" to go to a wedding, then they probably shouldn't go to the wedding, and might want to spend that time otherwise evaluating their priorities in life.  I think it's preposterous to expect something.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:749806c0-96d1-49d2-9cf1-02378a9cf2f9">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]What we want to do is a small donation like $1 dollar per guest or even less to a charity and we will put a slip of paper on the table that says.  " In lieu of favors a donation has been made to "Insert your charity of choice here" .  We are using two charities close to our families.  That way people will enjoy it in a way an appreciate it, I wont be angry if they throw it out and we can choose how much we spend.
    Posted by bblouin[/QUOTE]

    Doing this as well.  Lung cancer and Alzheimers donations.
  • lharri12lharri12 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've gone back and forth on this one as well.  I think we're going to have little tins full of white tic-tacs.  People might want to freshen their breath after dinner anyway.  However, if we end up having to cut something from the budget, this will probably be it.  To the people who feel so strongly that it is rude to not give favors: lighten up.  The guests are supposed to be there support you, not to get a little gift to bring home...  If they are offended, well screw them.
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  • mandyandkennymandyandkenny member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Rude not to give favors? Rude to expect them. Here you are giving your family and friends a great night out, with food, music, entertainment, and drinks, and people would actually be upset if they didn't get a favor? That's nuts. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate a new life that a couple will share and not to beg people to "go out of their way" to show up.
  • edited December 2011
    We were not going to do wedding favors. It seemed time consuming, and most wedding favors I have seen at weddings are not anything that I usually remembered to take with me. We are also getting married out of state, so I thought it would be difficult to transport edible gifts.

    We decided to give out $2 lottery scratcher tickets in a cute envelope with a new penny. Each favor is costing about $2.10 per guest. Not everyone may like this idea, but I figure that it will be fun for our guests, and maybe someone will win some $!

    But I would have no problem attending a wedding without favors. I appreciate the nice night (food, drinks, etc) out that the couples and their families are providing. I do not think a favor is neccessary at all.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:3882c298-841e-4eef-a38e-cca317b7c3ed">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Rude not to give favors? Rude to expect them. Here you are giving your family and friends a great night out, with food, music, entertainment, and drinks, and people would actually be upset if they didn't get a favor? That's nuts. The purpose of a wedding is to celebrate a new life that a couple will share and not to beg people to "go out of their way" to show up.
    Posted by mandyandkenny[/QUOTE]


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  • NillaWafer10NillaWafer10 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have never even thought of favors during a wedding unless they were on the table.  If you really want to do some on a small budget, try ordering fortune cookies.  I wouldn't bother with the personal message ones, because those can get expensive.  I have seen them online, but I would order them through your local Chinese restaurant.  You probably wouldn't have to pay shipping that way.
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  • edited December 2011

    Wedding favors, in my opinion, are nice but non-essentials. If you really feel uncomfortable leaving them out, pick a DIY solution that goes with the feel of your wedding. My fiance and I are planning on making a CD of some of our favorite love songs. If you already have the music on your computer and you buy the CDs in bulk, it's not that expensive. Or, instead of a favor for each person, think of maybe doing a single favor for a couple or family.

  • NAClarkNAClark member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors_favors-not-someone-please-give-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:27Discussion:579f7ca2-f861-4179-9ff9-6dd9fd8350ffPost:b73eabba-2942-4113-aca1-cea7225b8860">Re: favors... to do or not to do. SOMEONE please give me some advice!</a>:
    [QUOTE]honestly i think its super rude to not give favors. People are so etiquette crazy around here.. and yet not giving favors is something that people seem totally ok with. I don't get it. Guests spend SO much to go to your wedding, between a new outfit, and getting a sitter for their kids, or having to buy their kids outfits, paying for all the gifts, and then possibly having to stay in a hotel. Your supposed to give a nice favor as a thank you to your guests. And yes, most trinkets or little bags of candy will just get thrown away but thats why your not supposed to give something like that. I firmly believe you should put a lot of thought into your favors, its a very important element to the wedding. I hope i don't seem like I'm being sassy here I just don't understand how everyone seems to this its ok. Maybe its just a local thing to NYC. 
    Posted by Jennasourus[/QUOTE]

    It is not rude to forgo favors. Ask your grandmother or even your mother what her favor was - and she'll tell you she didn't have any. They have only been around since about the 80's. And as per Miss Manners, they are certainly not mandatory:

    <em><span style="font-style:italic;">Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention<span style="font-size:100%;">. <u>You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion. </u></span></span></em>
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