Wedding Ceremony & Reception Music Discussions

Inappropriate Dancing

This may sound weird, but how do you prevent inappropriate dancing (bumping and grinding) during the reception dance? I know, it makes me sound like an old fuddy duddy but it drives me nuts that the younger generation dances like they are at clubs at a wedding. I'm 23, and even I find it inappropriate at a family event. I'm sure I'll be paying attention to more important things, but I just thought I'd ask.
Wedding Countdown Ticker
«1

Re: Inappropriate Dancing

  • meghanjfordmeghanjford member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmm.... well you could just spread the word but that could come off a little zilla-ish. My other thought is the music choice, if you're playing booty-shaking dance tunes people probably follow suit, especially once they've had a few drinks. If you don't care what kind of music they play, then you could tailor they playlist away from those kinds of songs and it will still be fun. I know I dance differently for different types of songs! GL!
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You can't control how people behave. I think that the most you could do without being rude is what meghan suggested with tailoring the music. Besides you will be too busy on your wedding day to care how people are dancing.


  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, I agree with PPs.  You can't control what people do, but you can try to deter it by the type of music you play.  Think disco and classic rock dance songs instead of Lady Gaga or whatever else new stuff.
    Vacation

    Vacation
  • KirstenAleciaKirstenAlecia member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would agree with the pp's about choosing the type of music....that and alchohol. I probably would not serve alchohol if I was worried about that.
  • edited December 2011
    so, a lot of people may find this rude, but we're doing it anyway......
    first of all, we are trying to pick music that doesn't lend itself towards that kind of dancing. second, our wedding coordinator is actually going to be there and will (discreetly and politely) stop anyone who does choose to dance that way.
    honestly, knowing who will be there, i don't think it will be a huge issue, but we wanted to be prepared just in case. also, i know our coordinator very well and have absolute confidence that she can handle those situations without causing the person to be too embarrassed or anything.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • meyerslrmeyerslr member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Maybe you could talk to your DJ and ask that he play fewer booty-shakin songs.   If it gets a little crazy out there, ask him to switch for a song or two to something slower or more YMCA-like.  Just a thought!
  • edited December 2011
    We had that.  Picture 50 year old woman (very attractive and completely smashed) dirty dancing with 16 year old boy.  He thought it was awesome.  We stepped in, had the DJ change the song and my SIL called him over to take a photo.  My husband and I guided the woman off the floor back to her sister.  We asked the DJ to modify the selection of music for a while.    I called the videographer/photographer the next week and told them I did not want to see any of that footage/photos on ANYTHING.  They knew exactly what I was talking about and complied willingly. 
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_inappropriate-dancing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:2d90e541-aa62-473e-bc84-909d4ffc8a3fPost:705a67a2-4054-481c-b20b-be6bc6944bb5">Re: Inappropriate Dancing</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can't control how people behave. I think that the most you could do without being rude is what meghan suggested with tailoring the music. Besides you will be too busy on your wedding day to care how people are dancing.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    yup.
    judge the non-traditional, pop their happy little wedding balloons... and sleep better tonight for you have made the world a better place.
  • Kizzle89Kizzle89 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    At my friends wedding she had an announcement made before the music started that since there were children present and it was a Christian event to keep your dancing appropriate. It was a very firm announcement but nobody complained about it, or got offended.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm 23 as well and I love to dance, I used to go to dance clubs all the time, less often now that I'm not in college anymore. Anyway my point is that I'm not concerned about it, I trust most of my friends to act appropriatly at my wedding, even though there will also be an open bar.

    I suggest talking to your DJ. If it looks like people are getting their groove on in an explicit way, have him change up the music. People are less likely to want to bump and grind to songs like YMCA or Shout!
  • allyandalexallyandalex member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Get over it you guys - weddings are supposed to be a good time! Geez!
  • edited December 2011
    I like this suggestion because I am afraid that dirty dancing will happen at my reception... i've seen this before at a wedding i went to and these people are family so therefore they will be invited. 
  • edited December 2011
    If I don't want to hire a coordinator (ridiculously tight budget) who would you reccommend for that duty?  My father?  A respected friend, etc?  Thanks!
  • edited December 2011
    i meant the duty of ethics control?  I want my wedding to be a good time and I don't want some guests to feel uncomfortable because of other guests' drunken behavior...  which i'm not paying to fuel (only a champagne toast and that is it.  the rest will be cash bar for alcohol... all non alcoholic beverages will be free)
  • edited December 2011

    Music can make or brake a reception. Why not have whoever is announcing the bridal partys enterence and other things to please not only enjoy yourselves at this celebration but to keep the party dignified in regards to dancing and drinking.

  • edited December 2011
    I guess that the most you can do about it is talk to the DJ & choose the playlist.  Also, you could buy less booz.  That's what we'll do in our wedding next week.
  • PudinnheadPudinnhead member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You should have your DJ not play music that lends to that type of dancing, designate a family member to stop the behavior if it starts (a maiden aunt or something, they tend to be more serious and prudish anyway), but you should also limit the amount of alcohol the people who'll be likely to be disrespectful consume. Our wedding is at a historical landmark and I had to take out an obscene insurance policy on th eplace and I'll be damned if someone get drunk off their rear and destroys a statue or defaces a painting! Your bartender will probably be okay with this.
  • jusilton06jusilton06 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, I attend to do some bumping and grinding at my own wedding!!!!
  • dianna_f84dianna_f84 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I suggest lightening up.  It's supposed to be a celebration - a party!  If people want to drink, have a good time, and get their dance on in whatever way they do, then they should be able to do so.  There aren't supposed to be any rules at a wedding.  As long as no one gets out of hand, what's the biggie?! 

    If someone does cross the line (ex thinking they are super sexy and doing a striptease in the middle of the dance floor) just start laughing and tell them to knock it off, that nobody wants to see that.

    And hey - maybe you want to think about getting a little loose yourself!  This is suppposed to be the best day of your life!  Have fun! :)
  • edited December 2011
    We've opt to some line dancing like to sean kingstons one so and  cupids shuffle and cha cha slide  ..just a few. We alos are going to use alot of the older songs too to give a chance for the older crowd to enjoy.
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance wants the same thing... so no rap music or booty-bopping music.  Just play fun upbeat stuff.  And realize you can't control people who want to booty-dance... but you can control the music with oldies and fun stuff.  Let them do what they want after you've picked the songs!  And don't let it bother you too much.
  • mmreed31mmreed31 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_inappropriate-dancing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:2d90e541-aa62-473e-bc84-909d4ffc8a3fPost:705a67a2-4054-481c-b20b-be6bc6944bb5">Re: Inappropriate Dancing</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can't control how people behave. I think that the most you could do without being rude is what meghan suggested with tailoring the music. Besides you will be too busy on your wedding day to care how people are dancing.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree, people will dance how they want to dance, and asking your cordinator to stop them from dancing in a certain manner is a bit over the top. But if you're open to it, some really fun upbeat music that really can get you moving, even with alcohol, that is nearly impossible to "booty bump" to is some of the new country rock music that is out there. All it is about is having a good time, and sharing fun moments with the ones you love... none of that "drop and shake your booty" rap things.... look into it, it might be a good investment, without dropping the booze
  • taralorraineptaralorrainep member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Actually, it's interesting that the thought is, "it's your day, you should do what you want", unless "what you want" includes asking people to keep it appropriate on the dance floor. Then it somehow doesn't count?

    I agree with many of the previous posters. You obviously want to keep things clean on the dance floor, and I think you're well within your rights to do so.

    I think the best thing you can do, if you don't want to make it a big deal, is to ask someone you're close to who would be generally "cool" (not shocked or embarrassed, and generally friendly) about this kind of thing to keep an eye out and casually and kindly pull people aside and ask them to stop if this begins to be an issue. 

    Limiting booty-shaking songs and alcohol helps, too. ;) Everything that you're doing with your wedding sets the atmosphere for the day. If you dim the lights, have an open bar and play pulsing music, it starts to feel like a club and so some people start to act like they're in a club. Playing non-booty-shaking songs will definitely change the atmosphere and people will be less likely to act like they're in a club.

    Again, you can also ask someone to keep an eye out, especially if doing this will set your mind at ease. As everyone has said above, it's your day (you and your fiance's) and you don't want this to be a source of worry or anxiety.
  • edited December 2011
    If you are worried about things like that you are not going to have a good wedding. You really need to prioritize where to stress about the big day.
  • happywvgirlhappywvgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think it's all inappropriate to be concerned about this issue.  Weddings are very often a FAMILY event.  That means your Great Aunt Georgia and 5 year old little neice will be there watching wide-eyed while your coworker starts dry humping your bridesmaid in beat to the music.  Seriously.  Some of you think this is appropriate behavior?  Wow.

    Yes, the wedding reception should be a good time but, unless it's an adults only reception, leave the bump-n-grind for your weekly pub crawl.  Geesh!
  • running4funrunning4fun member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    "The younger generation" and your 23- Honey - I hate to break the news but your still young.  Know that we have that out of the way.  
     I would have the dj play jazz music.  You cannot control people and what the say or do.  This celebration should be the talk of the family.  Although I have the feeling the family will be taking about how boring your wedding was.  Good advice - lighten up!  Let your hair down.  Shake that thing  - life is too short.
    Good Luck
    Getting married at 45 & believe me - I'm shaking it!!
  • edited December 2011
    Do you want people to have fun or not?? I f you tell people how to "not dance" it's going to kill the mood.
  • edited December 2011
      I believe it's your day and not every family feels the same way about bump and grind dancing. I believe it has alot to do with how you are raised and how your family is in their ways of thinking.  
       My family likes to shake it now and then, but my fiance's family hardly dance at all. To avoid any issues we have tailored our play list to avoid any issues. You can still have fun without having your bridesmaids dry humping you or without your 80 yr old grandma breaking a hip because she got down.
       If you are really concerned then make it a dry wedding. We are having our reception in our fellowship hall so there is no "obscene music or dancing allowed and no alcohol allowed. The reception will end around 9 pm and then we are headed to a club to boogie down with our friends before calling it a night.
      There are ways to compromise without giving up everything you want and more. Think outside the box and don't worry about what others think they aren't going to be at your wedding. Do what you know your family and friends will be comfortable with.
  • JangelisJangelis member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Lol. Im reading through all these responses here. Im from the caribbean and what y'all call bumping and grinding is pretty much an acceptable/normal form of dance here. I for one certainly dont mind some of that going on at all. But if it makes you uncomfortable, then as most suggested, make sure the music does not lend itself to that.
  • edited December 2011
    I would avoid music that they can dance to like that. I'm playing a lot of slow and romantic songs mostly because that kind of party music doesn't really suit my theme but if you want to avoid it I'd say avoid that kind of music.
    Future Angie Ayrton
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards