HELP!!!! Would it be innapropriate.....

DREAMZDOCOMETRUE84

My mom and sperm donor are divorced and have been since I was 3 years old, I have not talked to him since my daughter was born almost 8 years ago,I am 28, therefore I cant invite him to the wedding bc I have no way to get in touch with him , My mom remarried and was married to a guy i called my dad and look up to, for 21 years. He and I are dancing to your my hero, by Teressa James.  I told my mom about it and she said he is gonna cry.  that is not the problem, my mom and step dad have been divorced for 2 years now and she has a boyfriend and he a girlfriend both will be at the wedding, my stepdad is giving me away.  My moms boyfriend of 2 years is escorting my mom down the aisle, when i showed her the song on youtube she asked what song i was gonna dance to with her boyfriend......... I had not even thought about that, it never crossed my mind... What do I do?  I dont mind dancing with him at the wedding, but should I have a song picked out for he and I to dance to and if so what song?????  he is only been in the picture for 2 years, he and I are not close, we just recently started getting along in the past year., he and my mom have had some pretty rocky times.  I dont know what to do, I dont wanna hurt his feelings, will he be expecting for me to have a song picked out????  PLEASE HELP!!!! the wedding is March 9th 2013.

jlm9113

You really aren't required to have a special dance with ANYone at your wedding.  I'd just let your mom know that you're not planning a special dance with the boyfriend but that you look forward to dancing with him at the reception.

If she throws a fit... well, oh well for her.

jcg98

You don't need to have a spotlight dance for your mom's boyfriend. If you like you can ask the DJ to play a song that he likes and invite him to dance with all the other couples on the dance floor.

gymbugmj2k

agreed.  you dont have to 'spotlight' a dance with him, but you CAN save a dance throughout the night to make sure you get a chance to dance together.

[Deleted User]

I agree with pp...he doesn't need a special song, you can dance with him when everyone else dances. Don't feel obligated, have a special dance is meant for special people, not for a boyfriend who you barely know.

alenglish

No, you do not need to plan a dance with him. I'm not sure where your mother got the idea that you did. Just explain to her that you hadn't planned on it and don't want to take dancing time away from your guests.

mdupon70997

I sort of have a similar situation - except with the man my mom is married to. They've only been married for about three years. I love him to death, but he's not my dad. And I'm not having a special dance with him. You feel like her ex-husband is your dad and you want to dance with him. That's fine. If you decided to do a special song with your mom's boyfriend, would it hurt your dad's feelings?

JoanE2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_first-dance_help-would-it-be-innapropriate?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:29Discussion:f9618d4a-8267-440e-ab10-cedbb5f503a8Post:ccb8908e-1fd0-4805-98dc-421c69d50045">HELP!!!! Would it be innapropriate.....</a>:
[QUOTE]My mom and sperm donor are divorced and have been since I was 3 years old, I have not talked to him since my daughter was born almost 8 years ago,I am 28, therefore I cant invite him to the wedding bc I have no way to get in touch with him , My mom remarried and was married to a guy i called my dad and look up to, for 21 years. He and I are dancing to your my hero, by Teressa James.  I told my mom about it and she said he is gonna cry.  that is not the problem, my mom and step dad have been divorced for 2 years now and she has a boyfriend and he a girlfriend both will be at the wedding, my stepdad is giving me away.  My moms boyfriend of 2 years is escorting my mom down the aisle, when i showed her the song on youtube<strong> she asked what song i was gonna dance to with her boyfriend.</strong>........ I had not even thought about that, it never crossed my mind... What do I do?  I dont mind dancing with him at the wedding, but should I have a song picked out for he and I to dance to and if so what song?????  he is only been in the picture for 2 years, he and I are not close, we just recently started getting along in the past year., he and my mom have had some pretty rocky times.  I dont know what to do, I dont wanna hurt his feelings, will he be expecting for me to have a song picked out????  PLEASE HELP!!!! the wedding is March 9th 2013.
Posted by DREAMZDOCOMETRUE84[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No spotlight dance with your mothers boyfriend.  It would seem kinda weird if you DID have one.

</div>

theottercarter

As long as you make some sort of time to acknowledge his appearance there, I don't think you have to devote the time to actually dance with him. Just let him know you appreciate him being there for you and that "should" be enough to keep him sated, if he's a decent man.