Mother in Law question

butterflyblue6

My future MIL for some reason doesn't brush her hair much so it looks like she has a rats nest in it. I asked her if she wanted to go with me and the bridesmaids to get our hair done the day of the wedding but she thinks someone needs to be at the church to make sure everything is done, which I understand but I'm afraid she is going to look bad at the wedding. What do I do?

BrideLaurenH

Make a plan to double check the church together then the hair appointment.
Good Luck!!

bryemar

If it's me, I'd say that "Hi. I know that you've said you wanted to stay at the church to make sure everything will go well but I've decided to delegate that duty to someone else (wedding planner?). I'd like to spend some time with you and everyone who are important to me the day off the wedding. So, I've made a hair appointment for you and paid for it. It will be fun to get our hair done together. If you are really concern about the church, we can make sure you'll get done first so you'll have time to visit the church." 

If you want her to look a certain way, then prepare to pay for it. Because she probably doesn't think there is anything wrong with her hair. Good luck!

Peacebone

I'd let her know that so-and-so will be at the church to take care of everything, and that you'd enjoy having her with you while you're getting ready.

I am a little concerned about my FMIL. I've never seen her in anything besides sweat pants and tshirts. I don't think she owns anything else! She doesn't wear makeup, and keeps her hair short so nothing to be done there. I asked my fiance what he thinks she'll wear to the wedding, and he got a bit offended that I even asked! I'm not really sure what else to do... I mean, it's not that big of a deal, she'll just look a bit out of place in the pictures. Oh well!

Nissy706

I agree with Sleeper2013 - people are just to judgemental these days.  This day is about much more!!

butterflyblue6

You would think your FMIL would want to get all dressed up for a special day since she doesn't seem to want to any other time. Have you thought about asking her what she will be wearing?

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2013-weddings_mother-in-law-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:2fb7282e-ed53-4794-84c9-f5617fc97f8bDiscussion:e353510d-c5d8-413f-9266-9b27f2ea0fe1Post:8d30b214-e205-4677-8cb1-4b1ee8804b98">Re: Mother in Law question</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd let her know that so-and-so will be at the church to take care of everything, and that you'd enjoy having her with you while you're getting ready. I am a little concerned about my FMIL. I've never seen her in anything besides sweat pants and tshirts. I don't think she owns anything else! She doesn't wear makeup, and keeps her hair short so nothing to be done there. I asked my fiance what he thinks she'll wear to the wedding, and he got a bit offended that I even asked! I'm not really sure what else to do... I mean, it's not that big of a deal, she'll just look a bit out of place in the pictures. Oh well!
Posted by Peacebone[/QUOTE]

kaceymarie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2013-weddings_mother-in-law-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:2fb7282e-ed53-4794-84c9-f5617fc97f8bDiscussion:e353510d-c5d8-413f-9266-9b27f2ea0fe1Post:db544319-fc2c-49a5-85ca-02257e6ea16e">Re: Mother in Law question</a>:
[QUOTE]This day is about love, not just perfect pictures, show her that by letting her be who she is.  Don't be a bridezilla.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

<div>i disagree. you wouldn't want all people's attention to be on her mil because of her hair. people do judge whether we like it or not.</div>

mnt2bonstg

If you're really concerned about it, maybe treating her to getting her hair done, and then enlisting someone else to check on the venue. That might be a nice bonding time for the two of you.

Peacebone

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2013-weddings_mother-in-law-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:2fb7282e-ed53-4794-84c9-f5617fc97f8bDiscussion:e353510d-c5d8-413f-9266-9b27f2ea0fe1Post:2d0a41a6-fe6e-4793-bbd7-b1aa9c404f81">Re: Mother in Law question</a>:
[QUOTE]You would think your FMIL would want to get all dressed up for a special day since she doesn't seem to want to any other time. Have you thought about asking her what she will be wearing? n Response to Re: Mother in Law question :
Posted by butterflyblue6[/QUOTE]
I'm not very close to her, so I'm not even sure how I'd broach the subject. I asked my fiance what he thought she'd wear, and he said he didn't know and didn't think that it really mattered. I guess it doesn't, in the grand scheme of things. Although I'd rather she dress up and put some effort into her appearance for the wedding, it's not my place to question how she wants to look. It's not that important.

091109brIANna033013

In Response to Re:Mother in Law question:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Mother in Law question:You would think your FMIL would want to get all dressed up for a special day since she doesn't seem to want to any other time. Have you thought about asking her what she will be wearing? n Response to Re: Mother in Law question :Posted by butterflyblue6I'm not very close to her, so I'm not even sure how I'd broach the subject. I asked my fiance what he thought she'd wear, and he said he didn't know and didn't think that it really mattered. I guess it doesn't, in the grand scheme of things. Although I'd rather she dress up and put some effort into her appearance for the wedding, it's not my place to question how she wants to look. It's not that important. Posted by Peacebone[/QUOTE]

I have a similar FMIL. She only wears jeans and a Tshirt, even to my fiance's college graduation, and his Grandma only wears track suits. They made comments back when I bought my wedding dress that they would show up to the wedding in jeans and Tshirts, so we'll see what happens. While I would prefer they put in even a small percentage of the effort everyone else is putting in to look decent for the wedding, I am not getting my expectations up and there's nothing my fiance or I can really do about it except hope for the best. Families can be strange, that's why I am very thankful for the one I've got and the man that will be joining it in 46 days.

Trinity1971

Definitely tell your FMIL that you will assign that task to someone else and it would mean a lot to you for her to be there with you and your bridesmaids.  I agree that she should be herself...but at the same time it's not about ruining pictures, it's the fact that you don't want her to be the butt of jokes at the wedding.  Good luck!!