What would you do? - LONG

cwaggoner07

Some of you may have heard me talk about my FI's messed up family. I think, now, everything is great, and we get along really well, and they like me a lot. However, before I came along, his mom was married 6 times, and his dad 4. There were affairs, nasty divorces, and there are still lines drawn in the sand amongst the 'adults.' FI and all 8 of his siblings get along great, FYI.

And without sounding too braggy, I grew up with what I consider the perfect example of marriage. We had NO money, had to go weeks at a time w/out meat to eat, but my parents are seriously such an inspiration. They are a true testament to working through the hard stuff and coming out the other end with a wonderful life.

My question is, at the reception, I want to thank everyone for coming, and I definitely want to thank my parents for being such an inspiration, and for helping FI and I through the hard times when our relationship wasn't at its best (mostly when we were long distance).

Is there even a way to do this w/out sounding tacky toward his parents? I DO want to honor my parents, even if for 5 seconds, because they sacrificed SO much for us kids, and to give us lives they themselves never could have dreamed of.

I just want honest opinions, because as messed up as FI's family is, they have all been super super welcoming to me, and they get along great with my parents. The last thing I want to do is offend them.

TIA!

professorscience

I don't think there's a way to do that publicly without sounding like you're taking a jab at his parents.

Could you include something in the program?  You could at least word it so that it sounds like you're talking to both of them, but it would probably resonate more with your parents.

juliebug1997

I agree that there's kind of no way to say it publicly without maybe making his family feel bad. 

My parents were the same way.  Consider writing them a note and give it to them the day before the wedding.  I say the day before because you don't want them to be a big blubbery mess leading up to the wedding--they probably will be anyways, but you want to keep it to a minimum.  At the reception, you can thank your parents for all their love and support from when you were a tiny baby to the adults you are today.  Make it "us" and "we". 

ejheart

Hmm, this is a tough one, but I like Julie's idea of writing out a letter/note to your parents to explain your gratitude in more depth. I think it would be a sweet, sentimental keepsake as well. Maybe you could have it framed or done in a really cute way using something/someone from Etsy.

I do also like the idea of still saying something at the reception, but as she mentioned, making it a general "our parents," because even as immature as it sounds like his parents are they must have been supportive to your FI at some points in his life. Not to mention, (even if they haven't done much for him) he still wouldn't be around if it weren't for them.

fallbride1109

During my sister's toast, she talked about our two families merging together -- I don't remember what she said specifically (although I do have her speech at home) but it was beautiful.  Maybe you could thank everyone, thank your parents, and then acknowledge the blending of two wonderful, supportive parents or something.  If you, the bride, is the one speaking, I don't think it's necessarily glaring that you would acknowledge your parents, but I would only acknowledge what they have done for you, not necessarily how they helped your FI.

That being said, I do like the idea of a written letter to them better with maybe just a general thank you to "our parents" in the program.

caitlintaylor07

My best friend has a wonderful relationship with her mother, but her father is less than father-ly and has put her through a lot of things during her childhood that a child should not have to see. Instead of acknowledging her mom publicly, she wrote her a very long note explaning how she felt about her and how she couldn't have gotten to where she was without her. She gave it to her when we were getting ready before the ceremony, and the photog got some great shots of her mom reading it and them crying & hugging. It was very sentimental to her!

crash2729

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_what-would-you-do-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:673401e9-ba6f-4b22-bde3-495c242edb1fPost:981f2772-b9a4-4fc0-9564-2715c85e9664">What would you do? - LONG</a>:
[QUOTE]. My question is, at the reception, I want to thank everyone for coming, and I definitely want to thank my parents for being such an inspiration, and for helping FI and I through the hard times when our relationship wasn't at its best (mostly when we were long distance). Is there even a way to do this w/out sounding tacky toward his parents? I DO want to honor my parents, even if for 5 seconds, because they sacrificed SO much for us kids, and to give us lives they themselves never could have dreamed of.
Posted by cwaggoner07[/QUOTE]
Ditto PPs. 
I would write a note. There wouldn't realyl be any way to express what you are wanting to say without it sounding like a jab at his parents I don't think. 
Besides, I think it would probably be very hard for you to say and for them to hear without getting pretty emotional.

fallbride1109

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_what-would-you-do-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:673401e9-ba6f-4b22-bde3-495c242edb1fPost:ab58bbf8-9057-4334-bd91-be864d23808d">Re: What would you do? - LONG</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What would you do? - LONG : Ditto PPs.  I would write a note. There wouldn't realyl be any way to express what you are wanting to say without it sounding like a jab at his parents I don't think.  Besides, <strong>I think it would probably be very hard for you to say and for them to hear without getting pretty emotional.
</strong>Posted by crash2729[/QUOTE]

Great point.  My sister's toast was so emotional--for her and for me.

cwaggoner07

Thanks guys so much for the advice... and you're right, I'll keep the emotional stuff for RD and afterwards.
I still might do a quick 'thanks everyone for coming and a special thanks to our parents for helping us become the adults we are today, love you all'

I really shouldn't be delaying the hardcore dance party anyways.