Pre-wedding Parties

Should I have a shower?

My MOH has generously offered to throw me whatever kind of bridal shower I want, but there are a couple of problems.  The biggest is that all family members on both sides live several hours away from where the shower would be (we're having the wedding at a more central location), so there's little chance even my mom could attend, much less my aunts, cousins, etc.  Some friends live closer, very few of them are female (4 or 5 that could make it) and my best friends are all guys.  If we had a co-ed shower the guest list might make it to 15, but my FH doesn't have much interest in attending a shower.  The other problem isn't really a problem, but since my FH and I have lived on our own for many years there are very few gifts we need or want.  We already have two of practically everything, so I definitely don't Need to have a shower.  I wouldn't mind a lingerie shower, but does is it qualify as a shower if there are only ~5 attending.  Should I tell her to skip it and we can just go out to a nice dinner or something?  This seems like such a trivial problem, but I just wonder if there are any other good ideas I'm missing.Thanks!
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Re: Should I have a shower?

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    edited December 2011
    If I were in your position, I would ask this girl how she would feel about hosting a bach party instead, and inviting your male/female friends for a fun night out.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Leah.If you have so few things you need (so I assume a small registry) it would be better just to save the registry for the wedding so people still have gifts to buy.
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    kirieli923kirieli923 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    On the registry note - we also don't need too many things.  My mom was encouraging me to add things like towels and sheets just because they make good shower gifts - but more importantly, because they are things you wear out and do have to replace sometimes.  ALSO, don't forget about the possibility of a honeymoon registry!  Guests of shower and wedding will probably enjoy seeing the cool things you want to do on your honeymoon and will still feel like they got to pick a specific gift for you!
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are confusing two different types of events.

    The entire bride's extended family is invited to an ENGAGEMENT party, hosted by the MOB to introduce FI to the bride's family.

    The entire groom's extended family is invited to an ENGAGEMENT party, hosted by the MOG to introduce the Bride to the groom's family.

    The MOH and BMs host a shower, but that's for the bride's very closest friends - the girls she has chosen to be in the wedding party plus maybe some other close female friends and/or family who have been with her through thick and thin and to whom she has confided much during her courtship with FI, plus maybe her aunt and grandmother, plus her mom.  The MOH does not host some mammoth family reunion/shower with gobs of people who the bride isn't even close to.  See below:

    Q&A: Bridal Shower: Who's Invited?


    My matron of honor asked me to give her a guest list for my bridal shower. Do I invite all the women who will be invited to the wedding or just close family and friends?


    You don't have to invite every woman who's invited to your wedding (think of the expense for your bridesmaids if you did!). The guest list should include your closest female pals and relatives (and your fiance's mom, sis, etc.).

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    kesh0910kesh0910 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    A co-ed shower would be great... but you don't exactly have to have it as a "shower". I've heard of an entertainment shower... people bring things that may be useful for entertaining guests (board games, serving dishes, movies, grilling items, liquor, drink glasses, ect...) You don't open the gifts; the guests just lay them on a table for everyone to see. For food, have a bbq... it'll be more of a get-together rather than a shower and all of your close friends can come, male or female. Also, lingerie showers are really fun! And even if you didn't want people to buy you lingerie, they have things called Fun Parties (they have other names as well). Its kinda like a tupperware party, but they show you risque items (sex toys, lotions, oils, ect...). Its all in good fun and perfect for just a few close girlfriends. We had one for my FSIL and everyone was laughing so much... it was alot of fun.

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    edited December 2011
    I'm personally against bridal showers...think about it, your friends and family already have to give you a wedding present and (in my case) travel and pay for accomodations...i think showers are useless and commercial especially if you've been living on your own and already have "stuff." Just have a bachelorette party with no gifts, just a fun time with girlfriends! Woot woot!
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