Bachelor Party

poisoningkisses

How do you ladies feel about your mans bachelor parties?  Throughout the time of us being together we've never had a time where he went to a strip club or anything of the sort, and while I don't know for sure if that's what his best man will set up, I know that it wouldn't surprise me. The best man and his wife are very into strip clubs as a recreational activity. While I don't necessarily object to this because I know most men do it for their parties, I will be honest with your ladies in saying it makes me slightly uncomfortable and nervous. Am I being completely crazy? If anyone else had any concerns how did they try and relax and not think about it? 

I'm not going to be that girl who forbids him from having this bachelor party, I just want to not drive myself crazy thinking about what may or may not happen at said party! I love my fiance and trust him very much, but I don't always trust dumb drunk guys egging on men to show off and do more and more  

AddieCake

Strip clubs and strippers don't bother me at all. 

You can't say you trust your fiance and then say you don't trust dumb guys egging him on b/c essentially then you are saying you only trust him to a certain point. Because if he IS trustworthy, being egged on will not change how he behaves. 

If you are uncomfortable with strippers or having your fiance go to a strip club, then you need to tell him so. 

freebread03

Ditto Addie.  Its a friggin strip club, not a whorehouse.  If you don't trust your fiance enough to not cheat on you, you shouldn't be getting married anyways.  You shouldn't have anything to worry about-let him go, he'll appreciate your understanding and flexibility.  It IS ok to tell him that it makes you a little uncomfortable, but that you trust him to not do anything crazy.

Annas2013

My FI doesn't want strippers at his bachelor party, but there's a pretty big chance he'll end up at a stripclub with his GM.  That's fine.  I trust him and know he'd never do anything to disrespect me or mess up our relationship.  

You need to be able to trust him, even with his friends.  

kiddodarling2010

I actually disagree with a lot of what has been said. When there is lots of alcohol involved anything can happen, even if its not intended. My H respected me enough to not even consider going to a strip club. His friends also respected me and our relationship to not even suggest going to a place like that when they had the bachelor party. I personally don't understand the attraction of why a guy would want to go look at strippers if they are happy and secure in their relationship at home. 

poisoningkisses

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manda1933

I agree that there is no need for it. My FI and I had a discussion to ensure that we were on the same page. In my case, my FI's party will be 3 days before the wedding and we have over 50 people flying into watch us make a commitment to each other and i think it is just inappropriate to have strippers dancing on him 3 days before we make this commitment. I am by no means against strip clubs, I just think that this is supposed to be a time about love and cherishing each other; no gawking at half naked girls on a pole. Everyone's thoughts are different though and i can understand feeling either way.

QueenOfTheSea

One night my fiance and I were out with my sister (MOH) and his best friend (one of his GM) and the topic of bachelor/bachelorette parties came up.  My sister had already told me that she was throwing mine, so I already knew that.  The GM stated that he would like to throw the bachelor party.  But he's kind of clueless, so when my fiance left the table for a minute, he asked us girls for our ideas and we suggested some things that we thought my fiance would enjoy.  My fiance is not into the strip club scene, but he's also not one to tell anyone no.  Him and I talked about it later that night and he admitted that he is glad that myself and my bridesmaids aren't into the stripper thing because then he doesn't have to worry about that (and it helps that one of my bridesmaids/cousins is 16 and we want her involved the whole night) and that he is concerned about what his friends are going to do for his.  I was honest with him letting him no that I was uncomforable with the idea of him going to strip clubs or hiring strippers, but that ultimately I just wanted him to have a good night out with the guys.  And all it took was my honesty, he told me that he is glad that I love and respect him enough to make that decision, but that he doesn't want to do anything to make me uncomfortable and that is strong enough to make him say no to his friends if that is what they plan.

So, just be honest with him and let him know how you feel, but also make sure he knows that you want him to make his own decision (but only if thats how you truly feel, don't start lying about it now if you don't feel that way!).  His response just may surprise you!

And p.s. the guys are taking my fiance out to a friend's farm with a cooler of beers and having a civil war paintball fight, so we didn't even have to worry, but I'm glad we had the conversation anyway because the best way to go into a marriage is openly and honestly!