Pre-wedding Parties

i only wanted one bridal shower

I only wanted one bridal shower, and now im slated to have 3. My moh and wedding planner have convinced me that I should have one big one, as I have a very large wedding party and my girls will not be able to make it to all three. I am also more comfortable with this idea because I hate having to do stuff like this.

Both my mil and smil feel the need to throw me a shower for each corresponding families. They don't get along with each other. I feel like I am being put in the middle of their fight and that they are being rude by not wanting to include my family or friends in either shower. My SMIL has facebooked me and has brought the idea of  my fiancés fathers side of the family only shower up again. how do I tell her how I feel without hurting her feelings, and explaining that I only want one shower??

Re: i only wanted one bridal shower

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Ditto Retread. Just be honest. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • You can be honest but please also reconsider the idea of smaller showers.   I thought I wanted only one but having multiple more intimate showers benefits the guests who would be more comfortable with each other and then you get to spend more one on one time with guests that way.

    I had a shower for DH's side and one for my side.   Doing it this way worked out very well for mingling / talking and getting through the gift opening.     Plus, it can be much more cost efficient to throw a party in your home vs. one in a larger space.

  • whatever you do, remember that YOU aren't being rude.  It may feel awful to you that these women have decided not to invite people to your mini-showers that should be there, but it isn't your faux pas.  In this case it may be the right thing to be the peace maker and say "yes thank you", and you can let your own close circle know that you are doing it to please your new family members.  Then you can tell your large wedding party "attendance not required" and let them decide which shower they want to be at.  The showers aren't supposed to be a problem for the bride!  Poor girl!
  • Thank you all for your answers. I appreciate them very much and am taking this quandary into considerable consideration.
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