Pre-wedding Parties
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Do I Invite FI's Friends to the Shower?

So my Aunt wants to throw my shower, in conjunction with my BMs because they also made it clear that they want to be involved, and she asked me for my guest list (a little early imo, since they've scheduled the shower for June, but she's super excited). She told me that they can accomodate up to 40 people.

Putting together the list, I came up with about 30 names, but then I started wondering if I should invite these 2 girls who are super sweet and great, but they're definitely FI's friends and not mine. He's known them since middle school, and we see them three or four times a year (his work schedule doesn't allow for more). I think they're great, but I don't really consider them friends of mine, mostly because I never hang out with them unless FI is there, I feel like they're more his friends... I think I would like to invite them to the shower, but would that be weird since almost everyone else there is going to be there for me? FI's mom and stepmom will be there, but his aunts and grandmother can't come, and these two girls are the only female friends of his on our wedding guest list.

I'm just worried about it looking gift grabby, or making them feel uncomfortable, but at the same time I really like these girls and wouldn't want them to feel left out either... Does that makes sense?
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Re: Do I Invite FI's Friends to the Shower?

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    edited December 2011
    I was invited to a bridal shower for the now-wife of FI's best man.  It was a couple of years ago, and though I'd gotten to be friendly with the girls, it was pretty awkward for me as the couple of girls in our circle that I was closest to didn't go.

    I should have just declined to go.  And I don't see any reason not to invite these girls, because they can just decline if they don't want to come.
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    LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_invite-fis-friends-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:4df796dd-a186-48bd-b154-2cc42224ae36Post:0d683c63-be36-49e5-b4c3-ee7437983a2f">Re: Do I Invite FI's Friends to the Shower?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was invited to a bridal shower for the now-wife of FI's best man.  It was a couple of years ago, and though I'd gotten to be friendly with the girls, it was pretty awkward for me as the couple of girls in our circle that I was closest to didn't go. I should have just declined to go.  <strong>And I don't see any reason not to invite these girls, because they can just decline if they don't want to come</strong>.
    Posted by hlq2011[/QUOTE]

    Good point! And the two of them are besties, so they'd probably either both come or neither come.

    Thanks =)
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    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you asked, I was just wondering a similar thing--two couples we are inviting to our wedding we know b/c my FI works with, and is friends with the guys. The girls are really nice, but I basically see them at his work Christmas functions, even though we always threaten to get together soon.  I'm with you-I don't want to leave them out, but I don't want to seem like I just want more gifts! I have no idea--with the exception of asking FI to ask the guys--'she'd be happy for your wife to come, but didn't know if she'd be comfortable, what do you thnk? ' is that a good idea?
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    edited December 2011
    I am going further. I am inviting my fiances friends girlfriends and fiances because we all hang out for couples events and what not. If they feel uncomfortable, they can simply decline the invite. I think inviting them would be a better gesture and make them feel good.
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    edited December 2011
    You might as well invite them. It is only two more and would not put you over the 40 person limit, and if they feel uncomfortable, they can decline. And if they do come, great! It's a chance to get to know them a little more.


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    edited December 2011
    I invited a few of DH's girl bffs.  They were already becoming my friends so I was like why not?
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    angeltennis3angeltennis3 member
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    edited December 2011
    As long as they are FI's friends...and not FI's guy friend's girlfriends.  That happened to me and I thought it was incredibly tacky and "gift grabby".  I had said maybe 5 sentences to the bride, ever, and even fewer the to groom.  It was also an out of town shower.
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